Laura3

Although I have used drugs but one thing at a time. It was very difficult for me and I did have some delerium. Now as for support and what's to do next I really don't know. I really can't make it to meetings maybe max one a week. I joined an online meetings group and it did help me through the last few days but I found it was more of a social group than a place for support. I'm not sure if I belong with people in recovery. This particular group annoyed me, they were like high school kids, everything was a joke. I would mention something serious if they could make a joke about it they would. They would just parrot 12 step slogans and play around. It's discouraged me from returning to meetings. So I will have to do it on my own.

Dee74

Maybe try another meeting, or look at other meeting based methods like SMART or LifeRing.

I found the only real way to get out of a cycle of addiction is clear decisive action - making changes, and finding support to help you make those changes, and help you deal with the short term discomfort of being clean and sober.

I know you;re reluctant to quit everything at once but my addictions were so fundamentally intertwined I had to do it that way - and I think you might be the same?

D

Laura3

What makes people like that, I always had a problem with recovery groups. I've decided the meetings just won't work for me.

ScottFromWI

Congrats on 3 days Laura. Gotta be honest, every time you come here it's to tell us what won't work or what you won't do. Last time you were here you said you couldn't do this on your own, but you now say that you are going to try doing it on your own...not sure how that will help?

Laura3

Yes professionally organized meetings of some kind

ScottFromWI

You've told us that, multiple times in your previous threads here. What else are you willing to try?

Laura3

Dee I needed pills to get through this and also was in a bad place. That's finished now

Laura3

I needed support to get through alcohol detox so I found an online meetings group and it helped but now I don't think meetings are for me. I seem to have too much conflict with other addicts.

Laura3

I thought I'd give this group another try. Will probably be downloading books and doing my own thing

biminiblue

When I find I have problems with everyone else, it's usually me.

Jus' sayin', Laura. Maybe take a look at why everyone gets on your nerves.

It is common to be super sensitive in early sobriety. I think if you give it some time, you'll be more comfortable in all situations.

Laura3

Because addicts got on my nerves during my childhood, ones in recovery too. I had a narcissistic aunt in aa

Laura3

I've always only wanted to get away from addicts and drunks. When I became one myself I was suicidal. Recovery for me probably means not using or spending time with addicts and drunks, living the life I was supposed to live.

eyes99

How about spending time with former addicts and drunks? Those are the folks who haven walked the path that you’re trying to walk. If you’re not a bad person, how can all of them be?

Laura3

The character defects of the addict/alcoholic trigger childhood traumas. That's why I got rid of active users in my life, why I had so many fights, why i spent the last two years drinking alone and kicking people out. and why aa or na never worked for me. Hanging out with addicts and drunks is the worst thing for me. It can do all kinds of things, the character defects don't go away just because someone is in a meeting or group.

Laura3

I even kicked my mother out of my life

Laura3

I don't talk to most of my relatives

Laura3

I'm moving to the adult children of alcoholics section

Dee74

Hi Laura

I believe only addicts and alcoholics in recovery can really understand me and my problems and offer advice steeped in experience.

You can certainly try to go your own way - but again I found the only way forward for me was complete abstinence.

For me, any arguments for continuing using or drinking were simply fear based responses to getting clean.

I had it down to a fine art where the only thing I was effectively prepared to do was continuing drinking and using.

I'm sorry you feel you're not getting the help you need here.
Maybe that will change in time.

D

Laura3

It won't. I've tried many times, the only way for me is through counseling, professional groups and doing work on my own. Recovered addicts don't help me usually. There are exceptions of course but most of them don't.

Dee74

Ok - can't blame us for trying though.
hope you find that way that works for you

D