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I made it 3 days without drinking

Old 07-24-2018, 03:06 PM
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Laura, my upbringing was extreme, too.

I think it would be helpful if you could focus on what you can do to make yourself and your life better. What do you have in your life that is positive?
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Old 07-24-2018, 03:13 PM
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I have what I need to survive, I have what I need to move forward. I do have some family.
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Old 07-24-2018, 03:14 PM
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I have peace of mind living alone that I don't have to tolerate visitors I don't want.
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Old 07-25-2018, 07:52 AM
  # 64 (permalink)  
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I found myself living alone in the first few weeks of recovery. It was the best thing that could have happened, though it wasn't my choice. It kind of cleared the decks of a lot of external pressures, left me with know one to balme, or resent. If the bed wasnt made, a meal not cooked, the place untidy etc, I need look no further than myself.

Reading your responses, you completely missed the point in my earlier post, so I will make a shorter more clear attempt.

Victims don't recover. I have seen it so many times where an individual wants to set them selves apart. "Yes but you don't understand, my case is different" is the catch phrase, and whenever anything remotely uncomforatably crops up, they wheel out the victimhood as the unique reason why they cant do this or that. As a result, they don't recover.

If you read my post again you will see that I am not advocating meetings as a path to recovery. They are not for that. They are a part of a bigger thing. No one here is saying you don't have problems, serious ones, and there is no doubt these problems have made matters worse.

There is only one way forward, IME, and that is to face the problems probably one at a time. First, get the alcohol and drugs out of the picture, then get help with your other issues, own your part, and cease being a victim.

If you are wondering what your part is, you might look at how you have been using you misfortune as an excuse to reject all reasonable offers of help. You don't have to be a victim anymore.
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Old 07-25-2018, 08:45 AM
  # 65 (permalink)  
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I think you're doing great. You seem to know yourself and what you need to move forward . You have endured a tremendous amount of pain in your life and yet here you are trying to move forward. I commend you. Keep doing what you have to do get the life you want. You're on the right track.
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Old 07-25-2018, 09:48 AM
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Having read through the comments, it seems the people here are only trying to offer advice and support based on the information you are providing, rather than making uninformed opinions.

I hope you find a solution that works for you. It sounds like being around others and talking to others isn't working for you, but doing these things alone isn't easy.
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Old 07-25-2018, 07:46 PM
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We don't give medical advise here on soberrecovery. That's against the TOS.
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Old 07-25-2018, 07:53 PM
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I worked with professionals at the beginning and definitely recommend if you can. I also followed the advice of people with years of sobriety because I knew whatever I had tried hadnít work. Figured they must have been doing something right.
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Old 07-25-2018, 07:59 PM
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Originally Posted by tekink View Post
We don't give medical advise here on soberrecovery. That's against the TOS.
I'm not talking about medical advice, I mean advice in general. I don't think even psychologists are supposed to give advice, just listen. People can tell me to go to meetings, quit playing victim, etc. Maybe I'm not playing the victim and maybe meetings wouldn't be good for me. Sometimes advice can do more harm than good. It can be critical or condescending.
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Old 07-25-2018, 08:01 PM
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The only advice worth giving would be to seek professional help and I don't mean sober people in meetings
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Old 07-25-2018, 08:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Laura3 View Post
The only advice worth giving would be to seek professional help and I don't mean sober people in meetings
You've been given that advice too, multiple times.

If your main goal here on the site is to just rant about people and things you don't like, using the blog feature would be a much better choice. This is a forum...which means that people will reply to you and give you advice, and you probably won't like some of it. You can also use the ignore feature if you would choose to not see responses from specific posters.

I would remind you though that we do have policies against calling out other posters personally and starting personal arguments.
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Old 07-25-2018, 08:08 PM
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI View Post
You've been given that advice too, multiple times.

If your main goal here on the site is to just rant about people and things you don't like, using the blog feature would be a much better choice. This is a forum...which means that people will reply to you and give you advice, and you probably won't like some of it. You can also use the ignore feature if you would choose to not see responses from specific posters.

I would remind you though that we do have policies against calling out other posters personally and starting personal arguments.
That's fine. I've decided today I shouldn't rely on the support of non professionals in groups or meetings because they could steer me in the wrong direction, I won't be using this site any longer.
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