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Old 07-17-2018, 05:09 AM
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Big decisions!

3 and a half months sober and I know it itís the best decision I ever made to throw every bit of me into my recovery! For myself and my 2 beautiful children who deserve me to be 100% there for them! I feel I have really been open to change and attending all my meetings and doing anything I need to to help me... until last week, I woke up feeling unwell so allowed myself that day to rest.. it hasnít eased at all and am constantly tired, like sleeping during the day everyday and vomiting, and the reason being Iím pregnant 😳! 6 weeks today! I really donít know where my head is at! My recovery is so important to me and my partner is also in early recovery.. are we mad to bring a baby into this? My eldest daughter will not be happy although I know she will eventually love the baby! I havenít been to a meeting in 10 days 😬 all that is going through my head is trying to not get sick sorry tmi! I really feel awful in comparison to the other pregnancyís and there will be 13 years between the eldest and baby! I just donít know where my head is at!
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Old 07-17-2018, 05:13 AM
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You are doing well, I think LIAWN- that is a lot..early recovery, partner, pregnant, children....I think you are good to connect with feelings. Emotions and logic do not make good friends. Recovery is emotional and addictions are not logical. I suggest you post here lots- you can do that at home o the sofa.

Support to you.
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Old 07-17-2018, 05:24 AM
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Originally Posted by PhoenixJ View Post
You are doing well, I think LIAWN- that is a lot..early recovery, partner, pregnant, children....I think you are good to connect with feelings. Emotions and logic do not make good friends. Recovery is emotional and addictions are not logical. I suggest you post here lots- you can do that at home o the sofa.

Support to you.
Thanks Phoenix,
I donít feel like drinking so thatís good, but it scares me that it been 10 days since a meeting, I would go but I actually canít! I feel so ill! I worry about how this will all work! So scary!
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Old 07-17-2018, 05:31 AM
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Okay. First, Congratulations!!!

Second, have you tried any breathing exercises? It won't help the nausea, but it will help the anxiety. Here:

Box Breathing - Navy Seals

I think everyone has a bit of panic with a new pregnancy, don't they? You're doing great! Stay close to us if you can't get to meetings. I have done most of my sobriety by using this site without meetings.

You've got this!
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Old 07-17-2018, 05:33 AM
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First of all congrat on 3 1/2 months. That is a BIG thing.
It sounds like its going well with your kids in any case !

With pretty grown up kids, your partner in recovery, you in recovery and pregnant also, I agree with PJ, it sounds to me like with that going on everyone would have trouble knowing where there head is at.

That said, priorities and decisions, sobriety has to be the priority, and that will help you make the right decisions. Only you can decide and know whats best for you.

Likewise, that said, I (and mrs vman) would have given a limb to have had a second child but we couldnt.

Im sorry I cant be of much more help

I like your username.
Take care.
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Old 07-17-2018, 05:40 AM
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This is an event outside my experience Loveisallyouneed - but I wish you the best and congratulations

Whatever you've done in the past, leave that in the past
You have the capacity to be an awesome parent

D
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Old 07-17-2018, 05:41 AM
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
Okay. First, Congratulations!!!

Second, have you tried any breathing exercises? It won't help the nausea, but it will help the anxiety. Here:

Box Breathing - Navy Seals

I think everyone has a bit of panic with a new pregnancy, don't they? You're doing great! Stay close to us if you can't get to meetings. I have done most of my sobriety by using this site without meetings.

You've got this!
Thanks so much bimi, I will give it a go! Yes I suppose they do. I was so done with babyís swore 2 was it! I have given everything away and now boom 😳! I suppose itís just knowing what I know now and throwing in recovery and no one can say that both of us will definitely never drink again it just makes everything so shaky! I worry that bringing a baby into it can have its own bombs! Although on the other hand I know I would make it work!
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Old 07-17-2018, 05:44 AM
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Originally Posted by theVman31 View Post
First of all congrat on 3 1/2 months. That is a BIG thing.
It sounds like its going well with your kids in any case !

With pretty grown up kids, your partner in recovery, you in recovery and pregnant also, I agree with PJ, it sounds to me like with that going on everyone would have trouble knowing where there head is at.

That said, priorities and decisions, sobriety has to be the priority, and that will help you make the right decisions. Only you can decide and know whats best for you.

Likewise, that said, I (and mrs vman) would have given a limb to have had a second child but we couldnt.

Im sorry I cant be of much more help

I like your username.
Take care.
Thanks vman, as I said itís such a shock! My kids dad and I are separated and he is a few weeks away from becoming a dad again, we really donít get on like donít speak to each other and I worry that my eldest will be really upset! So much change for her!
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Old 07-17-2018, 05:51 AM
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Totally normal that your head is all over the place.

Early sobriety ramps that up a bit.

Your daughter will go through that too. She'll figure it out!

We're here, let it out!
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Old 07-17-2018, 05:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
This is an event outside my experience Loveisallyouneed - but I wish you the best and congratulations

Whatever you've done in the past, leave that in the past
You have the capacity to be an awesome parent

D
Thanks Dee, although outside your experience, I appreciate the support! You always are there with a little something so thank you! I can tell you are a genuine, nice person!
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Old 07-17-2018, 02:52 PM
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Well congrats on your surprise blessing.

Do you have a sponsor? Or phone numbers of other ladies in the fellowship. If so I'd suggest making contact and at least having a chat and touching base. It can make a lit of difference.

I'd also suggest utilising all the tools of the program that you can. Reading the literature (Big Book and Reflections available online for free for starters. Living Sober and the 12 and 12 available to purchase online). Listening to speaker recordings (loads available on YouTube, but I find this site the easiest to use... http://www.recoveryaudio.org . And of course, cracking on with your step work if you've started this yet (if not, perhaps it's worth starting now so that you give your recovery the best possible chance).

Again, congratulations. Looks like this is a decision that has been made for you. How exciting!

BB
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Old 07-18-2018, 02:50 AM
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Originally Posted by Berrybean View Post
Well congrats on your surprise blessing.

Do you have a sponsor? Or phone numbers of other ladies in the fellowship. If so I'd suggest making contact and at least having a chat and touching base. It can make a lit of difference.

I'd also suggest utilising all the tools of the program that you can. Reading the literature (Big Book and Reflections available online for free for starters. Living Sober and the 12 and 12 available to purchase online). Listening to speaker recordings (loads available on YouTube, but I find this site the easiest to use... http://www.recoveryaudio.org . And of course, cracking on with your step work if you've started this yet (if not, perhaps it's worth starting now so that you give your recovery the best possible chance).

Again, congratulations. Looks like this is a decision that has been made for you. How exciting!

BB
Thanks B.B.
It had been a big shock, and will be a total change in life path as was planed 😬! Yes I do have a sponser and have started my steps a few weeks ago! I havenít told my sponser yet as I didnít meet her last week because I felt so ill. I will try to see her this week but so far I can just about manage to do the bare minimum during the day! This pregnancy seems so different to the other 2. Not sure if itís because Iím older. Thank you so much for the lovely message! I hope you are doing well x
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Old 07-18-2018, 10:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Loveisallweneed View Post
Thanks B.B.
It had been a big shock, and will be a total change in life path as was planed 😬! Yes I do have a sponser and have started my steps a few weeks ago! I havenít told my sponser yet as I didnít meet her last week because I felt so ill. I will try to see her this week but so far I can just about manage to do the bare minimum during the day! This pregnancy seems so different to the other 2. Not sure if itís because Iím older. Thank you so much for the lovely message! I hope you are doing well x
No worries. And all ticking along nicely here as much as it's ever likely to do I reckon lol.

Why not just give your sponsor a quick call so she know why you've been away from meetings. Chances are she's a bit worried about you if your absence is unusual. She's likely to be relieved about the reason for no contact and that you're still sober. I'm sure she'll keep your news confidential if that's what you'd prefer.

BB
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