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Old 07-15-2018, 01:44 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Difficult to live life sober


I find it difficult to live life sober, i have been so used to getting drunk for years.

I wonder if i will ever be able to adjust to a normal life without drinking?

I was 55 days sober from a 5th of Vodka daily, then i relapsed for 4 days, then sobered up for 5 days, then relapsed again for 7 days.

I am now sober 2 days today, i tried drinking again, it just does not work anymore.

A few days before my first relapse i was getting restless, irritable, depressed, anxious, uncomfortable.

Then i decided to pick-up and have a few drinks which lead to more everyday for 4 days, then i tired it again 5 days later for 7 days.

When i sober up for a while, i always get restless, irritable, depressed, anxious, uncomfortable.

I need to stay sober, what are your thoughts?
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Old 07-15-2018, 02:04 PM   #2 (permalink)
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finding a substitute for alcohol by obtaining a new or old hobby might be an idea? Something you can get lost in. Walking has helped me before. Im currently 6 days sober. Last time I got a decent amount of sober time under my belt I went to the cinema a lot. Clean eating is also important for me. Using this forum to reach out for help or support from others helps. So does trying to support others. Its a rocky road but I do believe it will get better with time. I haven't really been outgoing for a while. Thankfully members of this forum has helped me at times when the urge has been too strong. Writing about my days has also made a positive impact on my outlook. Good luck to you! you can do this.
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Old 07-15-2018, 02:08 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I find it easier to live sober than drinking. It simplifies my life. When I first got sober, that's all I thought about, but now it's just my normal life and I like it this way. Sober is easier for me.
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Old 07-15-2018, 02:17 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Life is harder to live drunk.
Learn how to live with your emotions.
They are very raw to start with but after time everything levels out.
Be patient.
The life you think you can have with drink is unobtainable in my experience.
Just a lie that your inner beast makes you believe.
Learn to know when your addictive voice is calling the shots and separate yourself from it.
Make the decision to never drink and believe it is not possible to live life even to have JUST one drink.

Living life sober is like being reborn in to a life that doesn’t have an end.
Living life drunk is like your at the end and can’t grow anymore ,just dying a long drawn out miserable death.

Make the decision to never have 1 drink and it will be the best one you ever make, that’s a promise.

Good luck.
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Old 07-15-2018, 02:31 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Ask your doc for vitamin b1 (thiamin)
That’s what my alcohol recovery team recommended.
Helped level my mood a lot.
It breaks down food and creates atp which provides energy and protects the nervous system
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Old 07-15-2018, 02:34 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Springforward View Post
When i sober up for a while, i always get restless, irritable, depressed, anxious, uncomfortable.

I need to stay sober, what are your thoughts?
Early sobriety will make you feel that way and it can take a while to normalize. It's kind of like being sick, if you take care of yourself you'll start to feel better before too long.
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Old 07-15-2018, 02:47 PM   #7 (permalink)
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My alcohol abuse is a majorly maladaptive coping mechanism that I started at a young age. It worked, until it didn't. Arguably it didn't for a very long time....but I fought like he!! To make it work. I had to put myself and others though an awful lot before I surrendered. It. Will. Never.work.

So what's the solution. In simplest terms learning to cope. And yeah, it's hard. I have to sit with uncomfortable feelings. I have to allow myself to go through tough times without picking up a drink. Each time I do it gets easier. You see, I can actually be miserable and not drink. Who knew?

Obviously the goal, at least for me, is contentment. What helps? Connecting with other addicts, exercise, yoga, hiking, projects, goals. And learning that most of all my abstinence isn't contingent on anything.

It takes time. Hang in there.
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Old 07-15-2018, 03:44 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowydelrico View Post
Ask your doc for vitamin b1 (thiamin)
That’s what my alcohol recovery team recommended.
Helped level my mood a lot.
It breaks down food and creates atp which provides energy and protects the nervous system
Its part of a standard detox package. Chronic heavy alcoholics oven suffer from thiamine deficiency which can lead to wet brain. In my case I was probably in the initial stages in my last detox and narrowly escaped serious permanent t neurological damage.
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Old 07-15-2018, 05:15 PM   #9 (permalink)
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hi Springfoeward

I'll be honest - I drank alcoholically for 20 years - it took me more than a few weeks to get used to sober living.

For me there was a definite change round 3 months - things got easier.

I still think 3 months for 20 years is a pretty good deal

Keep the faith - the early part of recovery is a little tough.

you may not have seen it yet but there is an easier life on the other side of the fence.

If you find yourself 'slipping' reach out for help before you drink.

D
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Old 07-15-2018, 05:26 PM   #10 (permalink)
No Dogma Please
 
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Sometimes relapse is part of the process.

I mean...you keep getting on the drunk horse, having a fun short ride, and keep getting kicked off and stepped and pooped on. Eventually you'll get that the next time isn't going to be any different, the ride isn't worth it, and that a unbruised and poop free existence is more valuable.
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Old 07-17-2018, 01:58 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Do you have any support? X
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Old 07-17-2018, 02:25 PM   #12 (permalink)
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When i sober up for a while, i always get restless, irritable, depressed, anxious, uncomfortable.

I need to stay sober, what are your thoughts?


we need to learn to let how we feel or think just BE and not immediately want to DO something about them. all the things you describe are part and parcel of early recovry....from just about anything!!! talk to a person 4 days off caffeine or all refined sugar - and let me know if you survive!!!

we have to learn some adulting......that we have a feeling is just not THAT big a deal in the grand scheme. and feelings are transient, they do not last. i was madder than a wet hornet the other day at my husband about ..............something. don't remember NOW. because it's not THEN, it's NOW...time has passed, life has passed by, moved on, and today is an entirely different experience.
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Old 07-17-2018, 02:42 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I had a similar experience with multiple relapses after a short time of sobriety. You say that you're finding it difficult to live life sober, and I totally understand what you mean. I felt the same way in the beginning.

Then, after several tries, I started to realize that it was extremely more difficult to live life drinking.

You described "getting restless, irritable, depressed, anxious, uncomfortable" perfectly for the way I felt while dealing with the aftermath of my daily drinking.

Having those feelings every day was taking a toll on me, and those feelings didn't even begin to include the physical withdrawal symptoms while waiting for the daily vodka feedings.

You will find a lot of great advice here. When I finally stopped, I had a lot of spare time that I had to fill. Probably 5 hours per day during the week and all day on the weekends. The key for me, was finding something to do (preferably productive) to occupy my mind or help distract me from early cravings, which can be intense.

Needless to say, I spent a lot of time reading thread after thread on this site.
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Old 07-17-2018, 02:43 PM   #14 (permalink)
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55 days sober against how many thousands of days drinking?

I drank for over 20 years before stopping. I didn't know what to do with myself either.

How could I know what being sober was like? I hadn't lived that way since I was a kid.


It takes time, it's not some automatic process. Once you get used to the fact that you don't need a drink to have fun things start to fall into place.

For the first year the only thing I did was focus on not drinking, that's all I could really do. Now in the second year I cannot believe how clear my mind is and how nice it is to enjoy the day.
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Old 07-17-2018, 02:50 PM   #15 (permalink)
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This is what recovery programs are for. To enable one to live life sober and be happy and at peace on life’s terms. The 12 steps are designed for this purpose.
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Old 07-17-2018, 04:31 PM   #16 (permalink)
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How are you doing springforward?

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Old 07-17-2018, 04:35 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Living sober is a skill you can learn. It takes a lot of practice though, time and effort. It's way worth the trouble, unlike staying drunk all the time.
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