I've been wanting to stop for about three years but never managed to. I think it was a sequence of events that just piled on. The last straw was wasting a day off drinking wine, passing out at 7pm, waking up wide awake at 1am only to immediately pour myself another glass.
That was my last drink twelve days ago. I know it isn't very long, but this time I am fully committed to it. I was just plain old sick and tired of being sick and tired. I have pushed my luck more times than I care to remember and one day my guardian angel will get sick and tired of me too. I couldn't lie to myself anymore, I accepted I am an alcoholic at twenty nine years old and that I needed help. So it really was a spur of the moment thing, but it had been playing on my mind for a long time that I really need to stop.
That is how my father quit smoking. He was watching the fireworks on TV at midnight NYE and realised he only had one cig left in the packet. He had drunk a couple of beers so was too over the limit to drive to the petrol station to get more. After uttering a string of profanities he smoked and savoured that cigarette then just said to himself "no more".
That was on millennium NYE so he hasn't touched one in almost twenty years after smoking a pack a day since the age of thirteen. It worked for him so I desperately hope it works for me too
He says to this day he is not sure what made him stop so suddenly, it wasn't like a lightning bolt of clarity, it was just more surrendering.
Now I understand what he means