So hard to take that step

[Red78]

I'm struggling to convince myself fully to stop drinking altogether. I've had several bouts of sobriety, some small some big.
I know i need to stop but the issue is that although it rules my life and I am addicted too it, I'm not physically addicted and im not a drunken mess every night nor have a hangover everyday. It causes issues in my life and aways has. I've been drinking for 25 years daily except for my stints of sobriety, 6 mths twice and then 1 month.
My work colleague who I am close to was talking to me today about this, she pointed out that I am an alcoholic, maybe not by societies standards but one none the less.
I said about not having the physical addiction(this is by some grace of God by the way as I used to drink 1-2 bottles of wine a night) and she said, you a just one step away from this at any point.. this got me scared, she is right, this is progressive and what happens if it does get worse..
How can I convince myself to stop altogether? Or do I just commit to a smaller time frame, one day at a time.
Why does addiction have to be so hard..

[Dean1978]

You dont convince yourself to stop, you have to want to stop. You are addicted, you have admitted that. The question is what do you want to do to change that and live a life sober?

[doggonecarl]

Welcome to Sober Recovery.

Originally Posted by Red78

How can I convince myself to stop altogether?

I don't know how to convince yourself...that's sort of on you. But I can say that until you accept that you have a problem, and quitting is the solution, you will struggle.

I didn't think I had a problem either, despite being a daily drinking. But after a night of uncontrolled drinking I had a moment of clarity where I saw exactly what my drinking was doing to me and where it was headed if I didn't quit. That convinced me. So did the difficulty I had in quitting. I was addicted.

[lessgravity]

You're colleague pointed it out? Doesn't get much more obvious than that whether you have a very serious problem.

But yes, I agree, either you want it or you don't. Are you ready to quit?

Took me far too long to finally get where I am.

Hope you can stop before lose what's dear to you.

[djlook]

Alcohol was my best teacher. It beat me into submission. After having tried every means and method to stop drinking and stay stopped, I surrendered and began attending meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous. It's worked now for 20 years, one day at a time.

[Dee74]

Hi Red
Assuming you're correct does it really matter if it's not a physical addiction?
If you know you should stop and can't, the problems just as real.

Quitting was hard. Every facet of my life was built around drinking - the way I had fun and socialised, the way I solved problems, the way I soothed myself , the way I avoided conflict.

As hard as it was to quit, I knew if I didn't the problem was going to get worse - I'd rely on booze more and more and nothing would ever change for me, except to get worse.

Think about what others have done here to stay sober - and think about what steps you'd be prepared to take right now to change.

It's a start, right?

D

[Nonsensical]

Originally Posted by Red78

How can I convince myself to stop altogether?

The same way you convince yourself to continue drinking, but in reverse.

Looking back that's a big mystery to me now. How on earth did I convince myself to keep drinking all those years?

Best of Luck on Your Journey.

[ProfessorD]

Hi Red. I'm struggling to stop now too, and partly because I haven't had any of the real, super scary consequences (physical addiction and symptoms, DUIs, other explosive problems). Right now I am hoping and praying it won't take reaching true rock bottom for me to start recovery, which I know I need. I wish the same for you. I think we have to take a leap of faith here.

[Bird615]

I had to be in enough pain to become motivated to stop the first time. I didn't drink every day, but whenever I did, there was usually a loss of control over it.

I knew for a long time that I really should stop drinking before things got worse, but until that happened, I just couldn't get myself to quit.

After I had been stopped for a while (through AA) I came to see that being a practicing alcoholic was actually the tougher, more painful way to live. Being sober became a relief.

The second time I stopped after a 4 and a half year relapse many years later, nothing horrible had happened yet, but one morning after a stupid drunken night something sort of "clicked" in me where I accepted that I couldn't continue on like that anymore. I had reached that point that I knew I wouldn't be able to live with any worse consequences beyond what had happened that night.

I also understood that it was going to be tough to stop, but now I was ready to go through that initial discomfort because I knew from past experience that beyond that, I could have contented sobriety again.

[entropy1964]

As has already been posted, its on you to convince yourself. You can always wait until it does get 'that bad'.

There's another angle. Google Class 1 Carcinogens. Yes, alcohol (ethanol) is one of them. As is acetaldehyde:

A product of alcohol metabolism that is more toxic than alcohol itself, acetaldehyde is created when the alcohol in the liver is broken down by an enzyme called alcohol dehydrogenase.

You can read the rest if you google. So you have a Class 1 carcinogen going in and a Class 1 carcinogen going out. Any good oncologist (and I say good because there are many bad ones....having had cancer 2 times myself and having lost my husband to cancer...I've had some experience) will tell you that alcohol is number two to tobacco as the leading cause of life style induced cancers. And over 70 percent of cancer is life style induced. So if you want your likelihood of developing colon, esophageal, pancreatic, liver, stomach and breast cancer to go way down, stop drinking. And one doesn't have to be an alcoholic to be very adversely effected by the consumption of carcinogens.

So there's that. Yay alcohol.

[fini]

don't know how you can convince yourself.
for me, knowing i was ruled by this, really ruled, was it. knowing it at a level where there was no doubt and no wiggle room anymore.

[Forward12]

Originally Posted by Red78

I'm struggling to convince myself fully to stop drinking altogether. I've had several bouts of sobriety, some small some big.
I know i need to stop but the issue is that although it rules my life and I am addicted too it, I'm not physically addicted and im not a drunken mess every night nor have a hangover everyday. It causes issues in my life and aways has. I've been drinking for 25 years daily except for my stints of sobriety, 6 mths twice and then 1 month.
My work colleague who I am close to was talking to me today about this, she pointed out that I am an alcoholic, maybe not by societies standards but one none the less.
I said about not having the physical addiction(this is by some grace of God by the way as I used to drink 1-2 bottles of wine a night) and she said, you a just one step away from this at any point.. this got me scared, she is right, this is progressive and what happens if it does get worse..
How can I convince myself to stop altogether? Or do I just commit to a smaller time frame, one day at a time.
Why does addiction have to be so hard..

You sound like a full blown alcoholic to me trying to convince yourself that you're not.
One day at a time is a great plan to follow, as well as regularly attending AA or another treatment program.

[thomas11]

I don't know if you can convince yourself to quit. I think you have to want it really bad. I will say this, if one's desire to quit drinking is a 9.5 out of 10, they won't quit. Your desire has to be at least 10 out of 10. Full commitment, most important thing in your life for a period of time.

[Red78]

Thanks for all the replies. I guess I shouldn't have used the word convince. I know i need to stop, I have known this for years, I first admitted I had a problem 15 years ago. I have several moments over the last year that have led me to this site, when I have been certain that I wouldn't drink anymore, however I've ended back up where I started..
I'm hoping it doesn't take for me to get deeper in to actually stop.
I think I'm scared of the change even though I want it..
I want to overcome that and just do it..

[lessgravity]

I feel for you Red, but that post was all:

I guess
I think
I hope
I want

To me those are words I've used before. Before I was ready to really stop drinking.

All it takes is never drinking again.

You are posting here because that's what you want. I know I did, way back in 2013. It took me this long to give it to myself.

Hope you get it done sooner than I did.

[Verdantia]

Hey, Red. Alcoholism is a progressive disease that is ultimately fatal unless treated. If alcohol rules your life that is truly a bad thing and it will only get worse.
I used to think I was a 'functional' alcoholic, and I did manage for quite some time until I suddenly realized that I was well and truly hooked. It was a sad, degrading existence and I needed a lot of help to stop. I wish you all the best--you will never regret quitting drink--but I guarantee you will regret it if you continue along as you describe. It's a recipe for utter disaster.

[columbus]

"you will never regret quitting drink--but I guarantee you will regret it if you continue along as you describe. It's a recipe for utter disaster. "

So true.

[least]

For me, I had to be sick and tired of always being sick and tired. I had to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink. When I reached that point, it was less of a struggle.

[Delizadee]

My friend, I look at it this way.

We get to a tipping point. Either we think we can try and manage an overfull glass until we can't and it tips over, or we see how close we are getting to falling before we stop.

The bottom or the top is different for everyone.
Any alcoholic (ie moi.) who have hit the depths of physical dependence would say, you got a step up on lots of us.

It's a choice. You got a good head start on the problem if you take measure to stop now.
Physical dependence is a biatch to overcome. Especially if you relapse.

Progressive is kind of a really mild, way too easy word.
You do not want to get to a point where you take a sip of hell and fall head first into it.
Quit while you're ahead.

Also your colleague sounds quite astute? If you are comfortable maybe talk with her some more. I could be wrong. But I would have never pointed out to someone that they were an alcoholic until I figured out I was one and wanted to help those I thought were in trouble, that I cared about. Not to call her out on it. It's food for thought tho.

The tipping point is nothing more than a choice. If you can't do it on your own, there is a ton of help to be had out there. You can do it.

Much love,
Del xo

[DontRemember]

A lot of great advice already posted above. I'll just say that no one comes to this site,honestly, without already admitting defeat towards addiction. Own it and work towards changing it. AA,smart,avrt,here,therapy,ect.. whatever it takes,is what it takes.