Hawkeye13

Hi Ghoster;

You are doing great and this thread is a real inspiration.

You are turning it around and fast--you should be proud of you--we sure are

faith823

Wow you sound great and wonderful wisdom/inspiration.
It encourages me to continue on my sober path.

I love this quote "As I do this awakening journey I can see the Inspiring
things I can do in my life and also the independence through action and faith can build and develop self-worth"

everyday that I am Sober I do something positive to better myself.
Regardless if its a phone call regarding a job, helping my Dad, not feeling guilt, remorse and self hate. All powerful powerful things that adds up over time.

I am so grateful for your posts. I am so happy that you are making constructive decisions and taking care of yourself. Once I "dig" myself up and out of my on hole . I hope to keep at it and elevate my life /faith and self worth.

Congrats on starting the new temp to permanent job- Keep at it I feel like great things will be on the horizon for you.

wiseheart

Ghoster18, it is so inspiring to see your progress. Makes me want to be more productive. Congratulations!

Ghoster18

👍👍👍👍👌
Thank you
I really hope my words can help others to climb up and out.
My words are being inspired by action
My sponsor tells me
' To stand sentinel in my minds eye'
That I am my greatest asset
That I am a winner
So are all of you!!
Rewriting the programs in my mind
Slowly but continuously
The truth will set all of us free if we let it!
The White Wolf is an awesome creature
Don't starve him/her!
Feed the authentic Power ( our birthright)
By getting up
And going at it!
Miracles await us all.
I'm addicted I'm dead if i don't rise up and recover!
I don't have the dubious luxury to sit and stew in my ego's aargh mindset!!
That will destroy me!

Resilience
Determination
Perseverance
Persistence
Courage
Patience
Gratitude
Balance
Integrity
Kindness
Empathy
Compassion
Boundaries
Humour
Self belief
Faith... own concept!! Important!
Trusting relationships with close people who are in the same boat of recovery.
Big word for me TRUST!!
I need them people to help me to help myself and also to help others help themselves and yet more others to do more of the same.
A tribe of awake passionate wayshowers.

That's.... gift of desperation!
My G O D!
☉

Ghoster18

This is my illness
I get loads of positive healthy inspiring connections with people on here but then some gloomy types pop up and get me so wrong it's mood bending for me to deal with it.
It triggers me emotionally becauSe I am early on in trying to put some serious recovery time into my life.
I make mistakes sometimes
But these experts with their ignorant opinions of my honest posts affect me negatively.
1- how do I block certain people from my SR shares?
2- say something encouraging or say nothing I am like a swan with its legs working overtime underneath the water level as i appear to be calm and In control on the surface.
3- I am only on day 8
I was trying to not think about the days because it overwhelms me sometimes
And my illness uses it to play sixkngames with me I was trying to get myself out of that trap.
4- back off if you are a opinionated and like to think you are right! I don't need that sort of person communicAting with me. Even if I am getting it wrong sometimes.
5- I need support to help me maintain my sobriety it inspires me to keep getting up every day and to do the things I need to do to strengthen myself.
6- come back in 2 years when I've got 2 years sobriwry I'll deal with your ignorance about who and what I am about then

This is called a boundary and I am installing it for my own well-being.
I know I set the ball rolling that's because I'm raw and actually over emotional and bloody scared a lot of the time but I am not caving in I am walking tall and i am giving it everything!!
I don't need resentments!
My body and mind have been frazzled by my addictive behaviour I am realising I need to calm down a bit and allow my system to heal. Its probably going to take months .
Baby steps pls.
G

Ghoster18

I would like to give a big thumbs up to the moderators on this site 👍

Thank you.
I am currently transitioning from day 8 to day 9.
I'm a night worker so my clock goes over when I'm awake.
My thread about days was a way of me dealing with my struggles
I feel it has purged me of some resistance and self doubt.
Thanks everyone who supported my struggle.
It really helped me to unblock or shift some emotional stuckness.
Moving on now with recovery!
G

DontRemember

I stopped counting days around 14'ish? For the same reason you described. It(day counting) for me was another chain I needed to break free of to 'move on' from booze. Just like people who go NC during a breakup will sometimes count days since they've last had contact. For me,and this is just my opinion, that keeps you stuck and thinking about it. Hang in there,bud!

Ghoster18

ThAnks DR
All good with me
Keep up the good work!☺

Ghoster18

Being in recovery for me is like a journey home to where the real me resides.
No guilt
No shame
Of course there is fear but there can be no courage without fear!
Self worth is strengthening
My gratitude is real
It's more than a feeling...
I once heard Clancy XA speaker.org
Say that the 12 steps (eventually if we do them) will give us in a healthy empowering sense what alcohol/addiction gives us instantly.
By applying myself to a daily course of action which for me is a relationship with a Higher Power energy
I grow and as I grow I develop and as I develop I mature and as I mature I heal and as I heal I get stronger and as I get stronger I uncover and discover who and what I really am.
Which is for me a capable loving caring human being.
G

2ndhandrose

Oh my, I identify so much with this statement, Ghoster

Ghoster18

Into my 10th clean/ sober day at midnight uk time.
I'm doing my last shift of the week in my new job right now...
What A Godsend for me!
The job is perfect for me and really helps my recovery.
Best wishes to all on your sober paths!
G

Finalround

Ghoster, I have followed your posts and many others here. I notice as the great people on this forum provide their own personal experience and perspective that you allow yourself to be open minded and accept a different view. Sounds a lot like learning and growing to me. What more could one ask for?
Keep up the great work and keep posting. It's helpful to many here.

Ghoster18

ThAnks FR
Really appreciate your input.👍
I'm home now I clocked up 50 hrs for my first week at new job.
I feel blessed I really do.
I come home to my best friend..
My lovely dog.🐶
I couldn't do any of this life affirming stuff if I was off my head in my addiction.
But a sober me is a different creature
Conscientious
Helpful
Determined
Reliable
Trustworthy
I have a whirlwind of feeling going on inside me right now
Too much to mention
I guess it's the volatile mixture of
Suppressed memories of my addictive life
And healthy self belief along this new sober path.
I have been tryi g to get well since the summer of 2009.
It's been journey of restorAtion,miracles,
Relapse and pain.
I just need some continuity of sobriety now.
That alone will resolve a huge amount if not all of my problems.
My body and mind hAve been over stressed and overwhelmed with my addictive pattern
For a long time.
So I'm under no illusion that to become fully fit and healthy will take quite a few months.
Day 10 👍
I need support on here
I try to give support to others whenever I feel I can contribute a little something to their life to inspire them.
I am the swan kicking like mad under the water but thAt ok I was born to be a kicker!!
I heard this in a song recently.. .
' we should all learn to love ourselves before it's made illegal '
I'm trying to respect and value myself
It will take whatever it takes
Addiction feels like it's doing the job but it's actually doing the opposite


Ghoster 18

JK130

You are a talented writer and storyteller. Carry on with your sober self!

Dee74

Congrats on day 10 Ghoster

the love and kindness here on SR is inexhaustible - it helped me to move from fits of sobriety into permanent recovery

I know you can do the same

D

Cosima11

I've also been through physical trauma that pushed me into full blown addiction. First step was getting away from the person who caused me the trauma and finding my own financial independence, although I was still dealing with the constant reminder of crippling debt hanging over my head. I felt completely utterly hopeless.

Then I caught a lucky break and a family member offered to help with the financial situation. Not sure if I'd be sober if that hadn't happened. So trust me I know where you're at. I guess my only point is no matter how dark and hopeless things feel.. life is unpredictable and you never know what might happen or how things can change so drastically and unexpectedly. But you also must know if you're not healthy and willing to address your own issues, no amount of "help" or change of circumstances will magically alleviate the misery you find yourself in.

Cheesy quote but something that's stuck with me...

"Ego says once everything falls into place I will find peace. Spirit says find peace and everything will fall into place.

No point dwelling on how unfair things are and waiting for everything and everyone to solve the underlying issues you're facing.

Ghoster18

Thanks everyone.
Feeling serene this evening
I'm in daily contact with my sponsor
Doing my gratitude list
Meditation reAdings
Big book reading
To do list
Prayer
Phone calls in my fellowship.
It s working 👍
I like the Spirit says quote!
Not cheesy at all.
Ego talks B.S.!
Keeping it simple doing the deal!
I mean the simplicity of daily recovery actions to maintain sobriety ( I'm all ears to you folks who have been sober for long time.. Really really helping me see the Power and strength of increasing sober time!)
Compared to the exhauSting complexities of days and days of addictive behaviour
Is just incomprehensible really.
It seems to me addiction is stronger than me as an unprotected lonely person
But my HP other recovering sober people and a daily program of actioaction gives me access to a Power thAt is bigger and stronger than addiction.
A daily reprieve contingent upon the maintenance of a Fit Spiritual condition which in my book encompasses my whole being.
Empowered awake courageous honest
Mature responsible grateful.
Compare that to
Shame exhaustion puking headaches
Fear fatigue rage suicidal impulses
Insomnia withdrawals aches bloated
Etc.
Give me sober living please.
Its mine for the taking
As it is for each of us.
Decision is life.
Not the alternative!
G👍👍

DontRemember

I just heard some lyrics while reading your post: The song is about him being an active addict and he said: "I complicate,the uncomplicated." So true how complicated we make the easiest stuff.

markinny

sounds like you are doing real good. keep it rolling one day at a time

Ghoster18

Sunday morning
Quiet where I live.. peaceful!
I am grateful for my surroundings!
Sober dawn
Energy good
Heart rate in tune with my natural rhythms
That is such a nice feeling.
Cos in the drink I wake up and the ticker is pumping off the scale... always really scared me!
But day 11 is here
I thank every bro and sister of SR who talk to me on my thread here 👍
Sobriety is the coolest
Sobriety brings me home
Sobriety gives me back myself
Sobriety calms the storm
Sobriety is my friend ( life loyal )
Sobriety helps me cry laugh giggle
Sobriety dissolves denial!
Sobriety unlocks the padlocks
Sobriety fires enthusiasm
Sobriety puts smiles on my families faces X
Sobriety gives me back to feelings that need my full attention.
A sober Ghoster cares for life
A sober Ghoster realises this is the way of his heart his soul his responsibilities as a Dad a son a brother too.
A sober participant just for today
I don't give a **** if it's cheesy
I can write lateral vertical heavy vents
Odd chatter bone chilling versions
Buried dead intoxicants in sobriety as well.
But today cheesy is good
On the rails
Back on my horse
Sober G
Full of hope
More than hope though
A kind of knowing
A trust that's in my blood!
G