Susiegirl

Good morning !!

Just checking in - still sober this weekend an its Day 10 for me. Nothing much planned today as of yet - Just woken up and lying in bed with a cup of coffee.

Happy Sunday all XXX

STDragon

Morning all. Was distracted most of the day yesterday with my new Ukue . I rained all day so outside work would've not got done anyway. Sore finger tips today. I got a Tenor, it's a little bit bigger than Tiny Tim's Soprano. (But not by much).
TinyTim.JPG

mandosca

Just checking in on a beautiful Sunday Morning. I thought this weekend was going to be so easy, guess I spoke too soon as I was really tested last night. But I made it through and in fact I am feeling even stronger today. It's a long dreadful story but my husband (who doesn't have a drinking problem) made some really poor decisions while drinking. Basically he left my 10 year old with my 18 year old and told them he would be back in 30 mins, then proceeded to go hang out with my dad, got pretty plastered and didn't come home for four hours. I was working and could not help. I was (and am) beyond shocked. My 18 year old who is normally a very quiet kind person pretty much told my husband and father off because they were drunk (I don't blame him in the least). My mother's mad at my Dad for drinking like that. Ugh what a mess. Like I said my husband typically doesn't have a problem with alcohol. He can have just one with no problem but this is like the fifth time he has gone too far and made really bad decisions. Decisions even I as an alcoholic can't wrap my brain around. I have NEVER drank and drove, he has multiple times and he KNOWS how awful that is, and now this? Now I fully understand that there are probably plenty of people that have real problems that have drove drunk but he doesn't even have a drinking problem..!! Or maybe he does, I don't know anymore. The worst part is that he suffers with severe depression and anxiety. Always has, in fact he tried to kill himself a couple years before we met. He refuses to get help and lives his life minute by minute miserable. I gave him an ultimatum last night (which I've done a million times before. But I swear I mean it this time) if he doesn't go see a Dr and get help I'm done. I've been dealing with this for 12 years hoping something would change and it's not. I love him dearly but I'm done. I hate to push blame but I swear that 3/4 of the reason I drink and why I started in the first place was because of his depression, anxiety etc. There is only so long that you can deal with somebody tell you on a regular basis how much he hates his life, how the world is horrible, people are horrible etc. It wears on you. My husband is a wonderful person with some serious problems and I know he loves me and his kids dearly but I just can't keep doing this forever. My sobriety is what I need to focus on but at the same time I really worry about what he will do if I were to leave him. Anyways, looks like I made it a long story after all. I feel stronger today. I hope it stays that way. I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend and that no matter what happens we stay sober. Drinking won't help anything...

STDragon

Yes it does wear on you. It's very difficult listing to other people complain day in and day out. It's like I know you have a problem, could you just once not remind me about it!. It's even worse if your repeated advise goes ignored and they don't do anything for themselves. We need to look after ourselves and fill our cups first and only then do we have the energy for others.

Gilmer

I hope he gets help, Mandosca. Maybe if you left it would show that you meant business. The reality of living without you might propel him to take the leap of faith on proper treatment.

I must tell you, though, that nobody can "drive" anybody to do something.

Frustrated and exhausted though you were, his behavior didn't make you drink--and by the same token, your behavior cannot make him attempt suicide.

He knows very well what he could do to improve his lot--so anything he does is completely on him. Plus, if he tries something because you've stepped away, it could well be a manipulation attempt.

No person can completely fulfill or complete another person. Fulfillment has to come from within and above.

You cannot drag him to the finish line.

Who knows? Carrying out your ultimatum might well be the best thing that ever happened to the two of you.

I will be praying for you guys.

ManInTheArena

Mandosca, sorry your weekend has been less than ideal. You certainly have every right to be upset, and i know the feeling of actually feeling a little stronger when your spouse does stupid drinking things. It's pretty obvious he needs some help, of the professional variety. If he gets better, he should eventually thank you.

Hope you have a better day today.

Yesterday was ok for me, but pretty hectic and ended with an expensive weekend visit from the A/C repair man!!

I'm hoping today goes smoothly - mostly stuff around the house before I hit the road for a few weeks.

Have a great day everyone.

saoutchik

mandosca i'm sorry your husband and father behaved like that. I wonder why it is that your husband refuses to get any help as it would seem that he has nothing to lose by seeking professional help and everything to lose by not seeking it. Anyway a massive congratulations to you for not drinking, maybe that is a sign that you are regaining some control of your situation.

I am back in The Smoke now ( slang for London). Back to work tomorrow

FeelingL0st

Mandosca,
I am so proud of you choosing to remain sober, through what sounded like, a horrible time for you.
It is a horrible, tough decision to quit enabling our loved ones.
I had to make that decision with my addicted son 4 years ago.
I'll pray for strength for you in your decision.

FeelingL0st

Day 16 on a gorgeous Sunday.
Like others, I had a wonderful relaxing morning. Coffee in bed, no anxiety, clear headed with an entire day ahead of me without worrying how many beers I had left from the night before and if I had any cocaine left to make my way through Sunday.
Not today!
Today I had my coffee, walked to the pool, met more people. I have been so isolated, due to my drinking and drugging, in this huge apartment complex, it's been a goal for me to reach out and say HI!
I'm home now relaxing on my patio, feet up watching the world go by.
I'm at peace right now.
Congratulations to all us week-enders enjoying being sober today

Purplrks3647

Thanks everyone for helping me through another weekend sober!

saoutchik

Congratulations on getting the ukulele Dragon.

I don't know how famous Tiny Tim was in the US but I expect some of the younger Weekenders may not be aware of him in which case this might come as a bit of a surprise:-

mandosca

Thank you so much for that. That is precisely what I told him today. I havr spent all theae years trying to help him, fix him etc. For once I am taking care of me. My health, my sobriety and my sanity. He is on his own. If he chooses to get help then great, I will be there to support him. If not, I will leave. It's really as simple as that. Thanks for reassuring me of that. :-)

FeelingL0st

Wow!! Quitting smoking as well?
KUDOS to you!
I quit smoking 17 years ago and haven't picked up since day 1.
Congratulations. It is doable and I commend you

mandosca

You are absolutely right. That is exactly what I told him. I told him that I will never force him to do anything, he is 37 years old and can make his own decisions. All that I can do is do what is best for me. Just like I can't blame him for my drinking. That was all me. I chose to drink to numb myself rather then leave. Obviously not my brightest idea but it's done. And yes, I think leaving is what it will take. I left once only for one night and he was like a changed person for a coupl months, too bad it didn't last. Thank you for your advice and kind words.. :-)

mandosca

Thank you so much. I'm pretty proud of myself too.. I think that his drinking yesterday was a blessing in disguise. It was just another example of the havoc alcohol can cause. It's just not worth the buzz!

mandosca

I'm almost 35 and I have to admit I don't know who he is.. :-)

MidnightBlue

Hi, weekenders.

I've had a busy Sunday (and I like it this way).

All the "dirty" works on the flooring at my balcony are done, and I can enjoy the view of the night city.

I met my boss at a cafe and we discussed the project. Sounds interesting to me.

Then a had a workout.

And then just went for a walk, bought some milk to treat myself to chicory.

Another busy day tomorrow. I expect to start my new job on Wednesday.

Have a great Sunday!

Gilmer

I was about 8 years old when by some inexplicable reason Tiny Tim, just as you see him, became a huge sensation in the States with his big hit "Tiptoe Through the Tulips." He had the most obnoxious vibrato falsetto on earth.

He met some young girl named Miss Vicki and married her on a TV show (they divorced a couple of years later).

His fifteen minutes of fame actually only lasted for about thirteen or fourteen!

He was the absolute worst.

LadyBlue0527

You didn't like the falsetto vibrato singing Gilmer?

He got married on The Tonight Show I believe.

I know full well who he is. Which brings me to another thought. Today I was so happy with myself at the number of answers I knew in the Sunday crossword. Then, I realized that it was because I'm OLDER now

Hooray to everyone who made it through to Sunday, for everyone else, never, never, never stop trying!

Zombie79

Coming to the end of my first sober weekend and really enjoyed it as well as been really productive.

I've de-cluttered, tidied, washed stuff, taken the dog for more walks and longer walks so she's a lot happier too.
This is my day 8 and my fitbit has shown me that my resting heart rate has decreased 16beats per minute since last Sunday! And I've lost 5lbs weight without really trying. I'm still eating chocolate and bread. So overall, I'm feeling so good about my sobriety this time round :-)