SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR, mimileon. Glad you found us.

MarkTwain

Marker, I was not promised 27 years ago that "things" i.e. my life, would get better. I was promised that if I stopped drinking, things would change...and they have.

MythOfSisyphus

Well said, MarkTwain. Quitting the booze can save your life, then it's up to you to do something with that life. Sobriety does open a lot of doors that are locked tight when you're drinking though.

SoberLeigh

Hope to hear from you, Marker.

SoberLeigh

Hope you are well, Marker.

Marker

It has been some hectic days for sure. I`ve been talking a lot with family and I`m going to see my doctor today. Haven`t been quite able to stay sober or take all to much care of myself through the weekend, but for the last few days, I have just been at home, trying to entertain my brain with the internet and movies, taking it one hour at the time.. I feel like I`m in a bit of shock and it`s hard to gather my thoughts, but I know that this experince can`t be ignored if I wanna live.. I feel apathy most of the time, except for a few moments of sorrow and fear.. It has been amazing to see the replys I have recieved from you guys. It is really emotional to go through all those messengers and it`s hard to respond cause I feel pretty much speechless, just know that I deeply appreciate every single one of your words. Thank you very much..

By the way, sorry about my English, I`m from Denmark. .

Delilah1

Hi Marker,

I'm glad you are going to see your doctor, and that you are posting. Make sure you talk to him about both your suicidal thoughts, and your struggles with alcohol. Please check in after your appointment and let us know how you are.

❤Delilah

Hevyn

Your English is just fine, Marker - and we're very glad you are here. Life will get so much better - you can get free.

Cornbread

Getting sober requires going through a lot of emotions, regret and heartache. At least it did for me. Sometimes all of it can be unpredictable; I know I am still going through it right now. I will say that getting help makes all of the difference in the world and you can stand in the face of life with peace but it does take work. I'm trying hard to focus on the now as muc as possible but that is tough too.

KiKi0615

Hi Marker, I just saw this post. I am so glad you decided to fight this disease of addiction. Don't let it take you down. We have all been where you are and I am hear to say that a happy life awaits you if you get the help you need. Praying for you!!!

SoberLeigh

Your English is fantastic, Marker.

It is so very good to hear from you.

Good to hear, too, that you will be seeing your doctor next week. Be sure to fill him/her in on the details of both your alcoholism and your suicidal thoughts. Your relationship with your doctor is a partnership.

Thanks so much for checking in with us. We care.

Marker

So I`m travelling home to visit my mother in a few hours, she lives on a small island in the Baltic Sea, so hopefully a few days with nature and family can take the top of the pain for a moment.. Next week I will be talking to my doctor about medication or what will be best for me.. It has been a week since I wrote this suicide post and it has been a frightening time, but I`m glad I wrote you guys and I will take this seriously..

Grymt

Sa bra att hora detta. Jag ar fran Sverige men nagra av min basta tid ar i Danmark. AA is strong and good in Denmark. Officially there might not be as good a recognition of alcoholism as a dis ease but the people of Denmark are wonderful when it comes to supporting each other. I got stuck in a little village in Denmark many years ago desperately trying to get home to Australia. Everyone I approached was so helpful and I got out of a very bad situation and home again with the kind help of ordinary Danes. I'm so glad you are here. Keep well.

Hevyn

I hope you have a wonderful & relaxing visit, Marker.
I was in Copenhagen probably before you were born in the 70's. We had a wonderful time. (Except I overdid the Aquavit & Tuborg.) Everyone was lovely to us.

LoveHateMerlot

Hi Marker! So happy to hear you are going to see your Mom! Nature is so great. I'm so happy you posted, you have been on my mind and praying for you. xoxoxo

ThatWasTheOldMe

I get suicidal when I drink too.

It's so much better when you sober up just for a week, whatever that takes. You start to look at life differently. And then you just keep doing what it takes to go one day at a time.

Even if you have to scare yourself with the horror of end stage alcoholism (pancreatitis isn't all that much fun) to keep you going for a day. Or if you need to sleep and binge YouTube videos and eat junk food for a day. Whatever it takes. Soon, you start making plans. You don't always get 100% of what you want to get done in a day finished, but you make progress. And progress makes you feel good about yourself. And suddenly, you're living a sober life.

It can happen for anyone.

SoberLeigh

Safe travels, Marker. Enjoy your time with your Mom.

So very, very glad that you are with us.

Mimileon

Hi Marker!
Its great to hear that you are feeling better!
Things will be ok. Its great that you can write your thoughts here and how you feel. It helps. Please feel better

SoberLeigh

Thinking of you, Marker.

zerothehero

All I can say is there were times when I seriously wanted to end it all, but I'm so glad I didn't. Things change. Nothing is permanent. Feelings come and go. And I am not my thoughts. Hope and Hopelessness had a baby that laughs, and yes cries, but lives...

Remember your family, and especially your mom. You are her baby.

Sometimes wellness takes work, but it's something to do...