what happened?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: lost
Posts: 32
what happened?
I don't know what happened guys... I have been doin fabulous and then all,of a sudden boom! I am dieing of a severe hangover. I literally can't leave my bed. I was a disgrace, spent money I don't have, was dancing on the bar, trying to fight people.... I don't know what to do.... It is hopeless... I'll,never beat this thing.... I do so good and then this happens and its like WTF? Where did It all go wrong? The dry heaves are killing me. I have to go to work today. Oh please lord, I don't want this life. What am I doing wrong?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,518
I'm sorry you are feeling so bad Winniegirl. I hope you can figure out why you made the choice to drink so that you can make a plan to avoid that kind of situation again. Maybe you need to change people in your life or activities, but whatever you need to change, have faith that you can do it. Identify the problem and then make a plan. 
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
Hi winniegirl
this thing is relentless - it will find any crack it can to slither into.
That's why I encourage everyone to have a strong recovery plan to call on.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
It's also really important become aware of when you're slipping. It may feel like you just suddenly woke up with a hangover, but I bet there were signs and steps taken before you picked up a drink again.
Make sure from now you have plenty of support to call on, and you use it when you need it.
It's hard to deny our inner addict when its in full cry ...but it is possible
D
this thing is relentless - it will find any crack it can to slither into.
That's why I encourage everyone to have a strong recovery plan to call on.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
It's also really important become aware of when you're slipping. It may feel like you just suddenly woke up with a hangover, but I bet there were signs and steps taken before you picked up a drink again.
Make sure from now you have plenty of support to call on, and you use it when you need it.
It's hard to deny our inner addict when its in full cry ...but it is possible
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
make a plan....
spend some time suffering through this hangover and listing what you'll change....
drag yourself to an AA meeting..... have you read the Big Book? Read it. Read it before? Read it again!
DOUBLE DOWN....
you don't have to suffer like this. Sobriety is so much better.
c'mon back and nail it!
you can do it.
spend some time suffering through this hangover and listing what you'll change....
drag yourself to an AA meeting..... have you read the Big Book? Read it. Read it before? Read it again!
DOUBLE DOWN....
you don't have to suffer like this. Sobriety is so much better.
c'mon back and nail it!
you can do it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 183
Oh Winniegirl, i feel ya. I too am hungover today and i feel like such a loser. I even had to cancel my sons speech therapy and OT appointments today because i felt like puking all day. I mean how sad is that? At least you were doing good though until now, its just a slip.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: lost
Posts: 32
Thank u everybody. I feel so much support from u all. Its overwhelmingly amazing. I know what happened looking back.... My friend died on Sunday. I have no coping skills BC I've always drank away pain or hurt or anxiety etc... So, I fall,back on what I know. I really have to work on that. I managed to go to work and it was rough but I survived and I'm just gonna move on from this and try and recuperate. I will dust myself self off and just start over. Thanku again all of u. U have no idea my gratitude for u all to take the time to try and help me a complete stranger
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
I hear AV all over!!!
And for this who say it's a slip... no, it's. A decision. It's not letting me you were walking down the street, stepped on a banana and fell. Your brain made the choice to consume.
So now, what are you going to do differently to cope? Life is going to continue and things will happen so you have to have a plan. There's lots of examples around here on how to build one.
This is a battle between you and your AV. Right now AV is winning. Starve it!
You can do it!
And for this who say it's a slip... no, it's. A decision. It's not letting me you were walking down the street, stepped on a banana and fell. Your brain made the choice to consume.
So now, what are you going to do differently to cope? Life is going to continue and things will happen so you have to have a plan. There's lots of examples around here on how to build one.
This is a battle between you and your AV. Right now AV is winning. Starve it!
You can do it!
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by winniegirl33 
I don't know what to do.... It is hopeless... I'll never beat this thing....
They are both liars.
You DO know what to do...It is NEVER hopeless...You WILL beat this thing...
Make a plan.
Work the plan.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Minnetonka, MN
Posts: 155
Originally Posted by Anna
I'm sorry you are feeling so bad Winniegirl. I hope you can figure out why you made the choice to drink so that you can make a plan to avoid that kind of situation again. Maybe you need to change people in your life or activities, but whatever you need to change, have faith that you can do it. Identify the problem and then make a plan.
I'm just trying to sort out the difference between willpower and acceptance of disease, I guess.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by Illuminate
I'm just trying to sort out the difference between willpower and acceptance of disease, I guess.
I had to decide not to drink again and then figure out how I was going to be OK with that for the rest of my life.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
There is no disease that causes our hand to automatically bring a glass to our lips without us knowing it's happening. Or a disease that drives us to the store, pays for the alcohol, brings it home, opens it, and pours it into a glass...that's all us.
The point is there are a lot of steps during which we can stop the process.
To me, the disease concept can be a cop out...it's not like cancer. We can choose to stop the progression of what's killing us at any time and blaming something outside ourselves sets us up for being drunk helpless victims of circumstances.
We can choose to stop being victims.
The point is there are a lot of steps during which we can stop the process.
To me, the disease concept can be a cop out...it's not like cancer. We can choose to stop the progression of what's killing us at any time and blaming something outside ourselves sets us up for being drunk helpless victims of circumstances.
We can choose to stop being victims.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by winniegirl33
was dancing on the bar
What am I doing wrong?
I'm not sure?
But, most of us sober ones have no good reason to visit bars.
Regroup and reprogram.
M-Bob
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
This disease is a killer. I almost died from it. Here is what I did. It has kept me sober:
1. Went to detox.
2. Put myself in a lock down treatment center that was 2 hours from home for 2 months and left my old life behind.
3. Moved into sober living (also 2 hours from home) for 7 months where I was routinely urine screened to ensure I was not drinking.
3. Came out of treatment, got a sponsor and home group and did whatever the hell my sponsor told me to do.
4. Got on my knees and prayed every morning and evening for God to keep me away from a drink or a substance and then thanked him on my knees every night.
5. Threw myself into working the 12 steps of AA as they are laid out in the big book
6. Stayed FAR away from old friends, boyfriends and my old life.
Today, at 18 months sober, I have a job within my career field, an apartment with another sober woman, a sponsor, a sponsee, my meetings, my relationship with God, and I work steps 10, 11 and 12 daily. My life has become very rich and good. I laugh so much now. I did not even remember what the emotion of happiness or peace or joy was anymore...now I know and I experience it daily. It feel so good.
What I did was extreme to some but I was dying (bleeding out on my couch) at the age of 32. I needed something drastic.
This is possible for you too. I pray that you get the help you need to stay sober and live a happy life.
1. Went to detox.
2. Put myself in a lock down treatment center that was 2 hours from home for 2 months and left my old life behind.
3. Moved into sober living (also 2 hours from home) for 7 months where I was routinely urine screened to ensure I was not drinking.
3. Came out of treatment, got a sponsor and home group and did whatever the hell my sponsor told me to do.
4. Got on my knees and prayed every morning and evening for God to keep me away from a drink or a substance and then thanked him on my knees every night.
5. Threw myself into working the 12 steps of AA as they are laid out in the big book
6. Stayed FAR away from old friends, boyfriends and my old life.
Today, at 18 months sober, I have a job within my career field, an apartment with another sober woman, a sponsor, a sponsee, my meetings, my relationship with God, and I work steps 10, 11 and 12 daily. My life has become very rich and good. I laugh so much now. I did not even remember what the emotion of happiness or peace or joy was anymore...now I know and I experience it daily. It feel so good.
What I did was extreme to some but I was dying (bleeding out on my couch) at the age of 32. I needed something drastic.
This is possible for you too. I pray that you get the help you need to stay sober and live a happy life.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
I choose the first drink. So yes, its a choice. After the obsession caused by craving starts, then it feels less so....but its still a choice. Whether I choose to believe that I stop by my own will (AVRT) or that of a higher power (AA) is up to me, or you, or whoever wants a formal program. Both work well if they are committed to 100%.
The age old argument, disease or moral failing (and maybe a lot in between). I don't believe that the disease concept is universally accepted. I do know that my addiction requires daily 'treatment' however. It needs to managed or it progresses. That's just me. And I can never eliminate it...that is based on my experience. But I can manage it. AA says it is a spiritual disease or malady, which I believe based on my own experience.
Acceptance has nothing to do with the disease concept for me. Acceptance is merely completely acknowledging that I am powerless to control my alcoholism. And, for me, it helps me to accept pretty much anything that is out of my control, and focus on what is in my control, me and my reactions. That just helps me stay focused on what matters......I like to worry and focus on all kinds of shlit that doesn't matter or that I can't affect
The age old argument, disease or moral failing (and maybe a lot in between). I don't believe that the disease concept is universally accepted. I do know that my addiction requires daily 'treatment' however. It needs to managed or it progresses. That's just me. And I can never eliminate it...that is based on my experience. But I can manage it. AA says it is a spiritual disease or malady, which I believe based on my own experience.
Acceptance has nothing to do with the disease concept for me. Acceptance is merely completely acknowledging that I am powerless to control my alcoholism. And, for me, it helps me to accept pretty much anything that is out of my control, and focus on what is in my control, me and my reactions. That just helps me stay focused on what matters......I like to worry and focus on all kinds of shlit that doesn't matter or that I can't affect
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Originally Posted by Illuminate
Is it really a "choice" though? This is something I struggle with. I mean, sure, we choose to put the alcohol in our bodies. But it's accepted that this is a disease, and to me, that implies we really don't have a choice. And we need to fight the disease and eliminate it to really stop us from making the bad choice.
I'm just trying to sort out the difference between willpower and acceptance of disease, I guess.
I'm just trying to sort out the difference between willpower and acceptance of disease, I guess.
I am a devoted AA-er and I believe in the problem being removed through daily maintenance of my spiritual condition. As the BB says, we admitted we "WERE" powerless over alcohol. It further explains that it is when the drinking starts, we cannot stop; IMO, that explains the choice part, and how we CAN handle our disease.
I don't believe in parsing words, splitting hairs, or getting too bogged down with definitions- "alcoholic" or not, "recovery" or "recovered," "disease" or "condition" or [ ] .... because it would feed my alcoholic mind and distract me from the main point: I can choose to be sober, today. I can build a life on good choices. And I can see the results from them, which I believe my HP guides and wants to be good for me; not easy or perfect or "poof!" rainbows and unicorns and you're cured, my child....but a real life, that I participate in choosing.
When we tell ourselves we can't....that's not powerlessness in the context of AA. It's a lie that keeps us making that first bad choice, over and over again, perhaps until we die.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by winniegirl33
What am I doing wrong?
2 - you're acting on that choice - by drinking alcohol
3 - you're NOT choosing sobriety
4 - you're NOT acting on that choice by doing things to honor, support and deepen sobriety.
It really is this simple.
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