whatalaska

Hi everyone.

A month or so ago, I stopped posting on this lovely forum, and stopped interacting with you lovely people.

That is because I let my worse side get the better of me, and let the alcohol voice convince me that "I could do this". That I could drink every day, and lead a happy and meaningful life. That I could have my cake and eat it too. I knew the outcome, and i lived a lie.

I've realised now, that I am lucky enough to have everything in my life I could ever want; absolutely everything. But it's pure addiction that takes me back to the bottle, and to the pills and the powders. Sure, I am genetically disadvantaged, perhaps a little environmentally. But I can't comprehend why I just can't walk away?

Am I ill? Can someone give me some advice on a support group or system I can attend or take part in to maximise my chances of sobriety? I feel like this is my last chance. Like if i don't do it this time, then that'll be the end of me.

I have missed this community, and I look forward to being part of it again, if you'll have me. I logged in today for the first time in atleast 6 weeks, and somebody had sent me a private message after what i imagine was a rough day: -

"Hey! Keep going Whatalaska. You're doing great! From a March 16'er. X".

I nearly broke down in tears.

Sincerely,

A class of March 16'er,

WhatAlaska

ScottFromWI

Welcome back WhatAlaska. Addiction is a strong force and you are not the first to return to drinking/using thinking that you can control it.

Regarding your question about support groups/systems there are many. SR itself can be a support system. There are meeting based recovery groups ( AA, SMART, Life Ring, Celebrate Recovery, etc ). Then there is inpatient/outpatient rehab. Also counseling/therapy. There are self help methods too. Some people use one, others use multiple, and there is no "one size fits all" program - so you will need to research and find out what fits best for you.

This is a great thread to read more specifics about all the different kinds of recovery methods- definitely worth a read
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

FreeOwl

well... hey... I've been right there!!!

Complete with the booze and the pills and the powders.

Congratulations on;

Making it back alive
Finding the humility to out yourself
Identifying that it's not working
Recognizing that this could be your last chance
Asking for help

So these are all good moves but what it comes right down to is THE SECRET TO SUCCESS.....

Wanna hear it?

strategery

You're addicted whatalaska. That is what makes quitting so difficult.

The support you need is going to depend on you. I use SR and their chat meetings and do fine. Other people need AA, intensive outpatient or inpatient to get sober.

Feel free to join us in the 24 hour thread to make a commitment to sobriety each day. It's a great tool that has helped me out a lot. We're under daily support threads and would love to have you there.

Keep on remembering you can do this!

FreeOwl

Here it is....

THE MAGIC BULLET!!


http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-sobriety.html

FreeOwl

and the simplified, three-step mantra;

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...on-repeat.html

Meraviglioso

Welcome back, great to see you here again. Addiction is such a nasty, nasty thing. I always say I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
I was like you, I just couldn't seem to learn and keep going out and trying what I knew what wasn't working. I finally accepted I had to go to inpatient rehab and since have been at peace and happily sober. I hope you find what works for you.

Berrybean

Glad you're back.

Wishing you all the best in your recovery, whichever route you take.

whatalaska

Thanks everyone, FreeOwl i will read the links in detail. Thanks you so much for all your replies.

Can I ask you this? Does anybody ever feel that when they're sober that they just get flooded with anxieties and problems. I feel like at the beginning, sobriety is an impossibility.

FreeOwl

yes... pretty much all of us.

sobriety can sometimes FEEL like an impossibility. But, it's not.

buk1000

Yes, I was very emotional when I got sober. I didn't know how to handle it. I had been pouring alcohol over every emotion instead of dealing with them. Most people described me in my drinking days as stoic and controlled.

I was overwhelmed without the alcohol, but I got used to feeling the emotions and dealing with them. Eventually I embraced it, I finally felt alive. But, yes, it was such a drastic change at first that it was kind of hard to deal with.

It will get easier.

Berrybean

Can I ask you this? Does anybody ever feel that when they're sober that they just get flooded with anxieties and problems. I feel like at the beginning, sobriety is an impossibility.[/QUOTE]

Yes. It's hard to cope without our old emotional escape route and crutch - not that it ever actually solved any problems or improved things. If you look at the 12 steps of AA, only the first of them even mentions alcohol. All the others are about learning to deal with life on life's terms, and reach a stage where you can be comfortable and serene without alcohol.

What you are experiencing is normal. But that is not to say that it will just resolve itself without any work on your part. When people talk about working their plan or program of recovery, that's what they're talking about. I chose the AA / 12-step route, and others here have done other things. If people do nothing and make no changes other than cut out drinking, it tends not to make for a very comfortable quality of sobriety. After all if nothing changes, nothing changes.

Anna

I'm so glad you're back and that you know it's time to make this works.

I hope you find something that works for you. Scott posted a great link for you and I'm sure you will find something.

360startstoday

I think anxiety and problems are part of life and living. We are going to have that whether we are sober or drunk. Thing is.... we CAN learn to deal with things sober and it makes the problems easier. Drinking or drugs only make those same problems that much worse. Sobriety is not an impossibility.... it is hard, if it wasn't there probably wouldn't be an SR to look at. But it is SO worth it. Your life is worth it. Addiction will only kill us. Miserable life and death messed up? Or rewarding life sober?

You can do it. Glad you are back.

least

It's hard staying sober, but if you want to be sober more than you want to drink, you will be able to succeed.

CaseyW

Welcome back, whatalaska. You've already received a ton of great advice here but I did want to add that the Class of March 2016 is still going strong as can be and you're more than welcome to join back with us. Some amazing recovery going on here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...part-13-a.html

The Class of May 2016 is also off to a great start right here on this Newcomers forum.

Ask for help when you need it. Help others when you can. And remember it's the first drink that gets you drunk. You don't have to take that first drink today no matter what.

thomas11

Hi whatalaska, really glad your back. I think many of us can understand what you've gone through and are going through. Something that helped me get over the hump is acceptance. When actively drinking I was in a fight. I was fighting on all fronts, my work, my marriage, my drinking habit...and so on. Once I accepted that drinking couldn't be a part of my life, magically I felt like I wasn't fighting everything on all fronts, all the time.

BBQBOY

Way to make it back!! Stick around, the company is great. I was also very anxious in early sobriety....But.. the anxiety does diminish with time. I figure, I didn't get sick all at once....and I don't expect to get well all at once! I like your phrase " genetically challenged" ....I have to use this one...Best Wishes

ladyboo

whatalaska- yes, living sober is hard- but well worth it. my life is currently in upheaval- some related to my drinking, etc- some absolutely not. it's very hard to deal with it all clean & sober- but better that way. at least i know i make good, sound decisions. when i feel overwhelmed, depressed, very sad- i know it will pass & that drinking will only complicate the issues. that option is quite simply off the table. good luck with your sobriety!

ladyboo

and, thank you, FreeOwl, for the links to such powerful, yet simple, advise & wisdom! so very awesome!