Feeling Bad
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Dallas Texas
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wpainterw, On what was one of the worse days of my life (30 years ago) I was walking outside and I guess I wore it on my face. On old guy walked up to me, smiled and asked how I was. I said "not too good." He stood with me awhile and said "pretty nice day." It was spring, the sun, a few puff clouds, it wasn't hot yet. He was right. I smiled a bit and walked away. Odd I still remember 30 years later.
Go outside and pet the dog. Best Wishes.
Go outside and pet the dog. Best Wishes.
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Join Date: May 2012
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Posts: 7,242
But I simply can't sit by and keep saying "You're doing a great job. Keep it up" when there's stuff which I think might be helpful and which needs saying.
and this is exactly why we/i need your posts.
and when i was new and reactionary, i didn't know i needed more than the perspectives i always agreed with
honesty and longer view shared is such a gift; there's no shortage here already of "you're doing a great job; keep it up".
and this is exactly why we/i need your posts.
and when i was new and reactionary, i didn't know i needed more than the perspectives i always agreed with
honesty and longer view shared is such a gift; there's no shortage here already of "you're doing a great job; keep it up".
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Location: Massachusetts
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Such nice, caring people you are! Such good people! I am proud to know you and be one of your number. No matter what the world thinks of us we can be true to one another. Sobriety is possible for all. In the old days they thought Everest could not be climbed. Now there is scarcely room on top, climbers all roped together taking selfies. 
Bill
Bill
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Originally Posted by fini 
But I simply can't sit by and keep saying "You're doing a great job. Keep it up" when there's stuff which I think might be helpful and which needs saying.
and this is exactly why we/i need your posts.
and when i was new and reactionary, i didn't know i needed more than the perspectives i always agreed with
honesty and longer view shared is such a gift; there's no shortage here already of "you're doing a great job; keep it up".
and this is exactly why we/i need your posts.
and when i was new and reactionary, i didn't know i needed more than the perspectives i always agreed with
honesty and longer view shared is such a gift; there's no shortage here already of "you're doing a great job; keep it up".
Bill (and you there on SR, "You're all doing very well!" (Help?)
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Hi wpainterw -
So many of us can only hope to be 89 and sober, alive and full of wisdom like yourself. The age difference has nothing to do with how others see your advice or your wisdom. Alcoholism knows no boundaries - those who are in recovery need every piece of advice they can get, from all members.
I am nearly 41 years old, and I often feel that my advice doesn't "hit the mark" with the 20-somethings on this board. But, I still share it anyway - when I see fit. What's the harm? Sure the lingo is different. The vernacular isn't the same. But the disease hasn't changed one bit since 1958. Or since 1858, for that matter. Alcoholism is alcoholism.
Your mere presence here provides many of us with hope. The fact that you're online and posting on an Internet forum is not only impressive, it's inspirational. You're not done learning, and your interest in the outside world is strong. We need that here, man! Every time I see one of your posts, I always smile inside! From the responses here, I know I'm not alone.
So many of us can only hope to be 89 and sober, alive and full of wisdom like yourself. The age difference has nothing to do with how others see your advice or your wisdom. Alcoholism knows no boundaries - those who are in recovery need every piece of advice they can get, from all members.
I am nearly 41 years old, and I often feel that my advice doesn't "hit the mark" with the 20-somethings on this board. But, I still share it anyway - when I see fit. What's the harm? Sure the lingo is different. The vernacular isn't the same. But the disease hasn't changed one bit since 1958. Or since 1858, for that matter. Alcoholism is alcoholism.
Your mere presence here provides many of us with hope. The fact that you're online and posting on an Internet forum is not only impressive, it's inspirational. You're not done learning, and your interest in the outside world is strong. We need that here, man! Every time I see one of your posts, I always smile inside! From the responses here, I know I'm not alone.
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Big Sombrero: I see you are in "Central America"! Back in 1945-46, just after the War, I was a Shore Patrolman in Panama City. We all had 45 cal. Navy Automatics but when we were taken out to the pistol range no one could hit even the piece of paper, much less the target area, from 50 yards. But the Chief said "You're all qualified" and we were sent back to the barracks. So we patrolled the city in pairs, sporting our revolvers and dressed in dazzling white's. Some of the duty was in what were known as "cathouses" where we kept the lads orderly and in line, Navy style. Or, as the Brits say, "Shipshape and ******* fashion." So, as they say in the Navy, "Now Hear This! Make sure you lay off that Cervesa!" Good luck!
W. (Y3/c) U.S.N.R. (Ret.)
W. (Y3/c) U.S.N.R. (Ret.)
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wpainterw - Interesting to hear of your time in Panama back in the late '40s. I gather the USA (and allies) had a big presence there during WWII era, for understandable reasons. I had to LOL at the "you're all qualified" comment! Here's your weapon - off you go! There is an interesting summary of that time here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panama...g_World_War_II
I have been to Panama City, and also have spent some time on the Bocas del Toro islands on the Caribbean. Panama City is quite an interesting place and an interesting culture (I'm sure this is due to the geographic location of the country as well as the outside influences from so many major powers over the years).
I live in the mountains of Guatemala, and have for the past 2 years. I have traveled the world solo, and this area of the world really suits me. I spend about 1-2 months of the year in Costa Rica as well, as I must leave Guatemala from time to time for Visa Requirements. I was able to keep my job, and now I "commute" online! What a gift from today's technology!
Thinking of you this week, wpainterw - we all are.
I have been to Panama City, and also have spent some time on the Bocas del Toro islands on the Caribbean. Panama City is quite an interesting place and an interesting culture (I'm sure this is due to the geographic location of the country as well as the outside influences from so many major powers over the years).
I live in the mountains of Guatemala, and have for the past 2 years. I have traveled the world solo, and this area of the world really suits me. I spend about 1-2 months of the year in Costa Rica as well, as I must leave Guatemala from time to time for Visa Requirements. I was able to keep my job, and now I "commute" online! What a gift from today's technology!
Thinking of you this week, wpainterw - we all are.
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Visited the ER. They found that the brain was O.K. but the trouble is further down. To paraphrase Shakespeare, "The fault, dear Brutus is not with our [brains] but with our [bowels]!". My bladder infection has returned ("Welcome back, old Fellow!") and my pernicious anemia has worsened. May have a colonoscopy in a week or so. Last time I had one was the morning after Easter and my wife was very upset that I had to drink laxative liquid all Easter Sunday. I rather enjoy colonoscopies. At times I take no anesthetic so I can watch on TV. Robert Benchley, many years back, had a skit called "Down the Alimentary Canal with Gun and Camera". This is more like Mr.Kurtz' fateful journey up the Congo in "Heart of Darkness".Did you know that there is a Patron Saint of prostates, hernias and related areas? St. Fiacre. Pray for me.
W.
W.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Boston
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Originally Posted by wpainterw
Hi. Not sure that this is the place to post but I'm feeling real bad and you are my friends. No, it's not alcohol (haven't had a drink for 28 years), or any other addiction. It's just that I'm old (will be 89 this year), have heart issues, have had two surgeries, one for prostate and the other hernias, am worried about my wife, who may have colon cancer but declines to have a colonoscopy. Says she doesn't "expect to live long", is primarily concerned about leaving behind money for her grandchildrens' education, wants me to choose a cemetery lot. I tell her that her grandchildren would be very grateful for the money but would be even more grateful if she were there for them as long as possible since they need their grandma alive much more than they need money.
As to SR, which has been so helpful to me over the years (I only wish that I had had access to that back in 1958) I have increasingly felt that, being old, I cannot help others as much as if I were in the earlier stages of recovery. There is such a large age gap now between most of you and where I am. Often I feel like I am not been supportive and that there may be many who think that I'm just preaching. But I simply can't sit by and keep saying "You're doing a great job. Keep it up" when there's stuff which I think might be helpful and which needs saying. I feel a little like the old geezer who turns up at the AA meeting time and time again and whom the others listen to patiently and politely but who seems to leave an impression that he is a bit pretentious and, because of his age a little irrelevant.
So I'm depressed. Do I take an antidepressant? Yes. Will I get a cemetery lot? Yes. But I hope not to lie in it for many years because I want to be there for my grandchildren as long as possible and then leave them money for education. Want to live for them. . Do I take blood pressure and heart pills.Yes. Around twenty a day. I'd have twenty colonoscopies just to live longer. Is the sun out? Yes. I must go outside and see the sun, the blue sky. Pet the dog.
W.
As to SR, which has been so helpful to me over the years (I only wish that I had had access to that back in 1958) I have increasingly felt that, being old, I cannot help others as much as if I were in the earlier stages of recovery. There is such a large age gap now between most of you and where I am. Often I feel like I am not been supportive and that there may be many who think that I'm just preaching. But I simply can't sit by and keep saying "You're doing a great job. Keep it up" when there's stuff which I think might be helpful and which needs saying. I feel a little like the old geezer who turns up at the AA meeting time and time again and whom the others listen to patiently and politely but who seems to leave an impression that he is a bit pretentious and, because of his age a little irrelevant.
So I'm depressed. Do I take an antidepressant? Yes. Will I get a cemetery lot? Yes. But I hope not to lie in it for many years because I want to be there for my grandchildren as long as possible and then leave them money for education. Want to live for them. . Do I take blood pressure and heart pills.Yes. Around twenty a day. I'd have twenty colonoscopies just to live longer. Is the sun out? Yes. I must go outside and see the sun, the blue sky. Pet the dog.
W.
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Hey there, W! From an old "geezeress" (71 years) to an old geezer - as I've been told, aging ain't for sissies! I have my relaxed and great days, fairly many good days and the occasional belly flop. Today is one of the bad ones but I know it will get better as long as I stay sober. Sending positive vibes your way! And you give me hope that I can maintain my sobriety this time!
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HenryF
Thanks for your kind comments. One thing I've had to deal with is that any suggestions I may care to make seem to have a monotonous redundancy (e.g. "Put yourself under the care and control of a physician skilled in treating addictions, be entirely candid with him/her, avoid former drinking companions, foster friendships and advice from others in recovery, particularly those who have had some success in sobriety, formulate a "plan", which may consist in seeking help from others and, as time goes on, helping them, taking only such medications as are prescribed by your physician and avoiding prescriptions in other than limited amounts and carefully monitored renewal privileges" etc. etc. AA and other regimes such as Rational Recovery and Smart Recovery are helpful and, in my view, are not necessarily inconsistent in some respects. It is possible to attain sobriety alone but far less risky and more successful to have the help of others. "This above all...", as the Poet said. "Do it for yourself. Don't do it just for your spouse, companion, kids. Don't even do it exclusively for the dog!" (does the cat really care?)
Seems monotonous. But alcoholism is "monotonous" and deadly. It never changes. It gradually enslaves and eventually kills soul and body. It is the "frightful fiend" that treads close behind, again to quote a bit of poetry by a famous addict (Coleridge)
W.
Thanks for your kind comments. One thing I've had to deal with is that any suggestions I may care to make seem to have a monotonous redundancy (e.g. "Put yourself under the care and control of a physician skilled in treating addictions, be entirely candid with him/her, avoid former drinking companions, foster friendships and advice from others in recovery, particularly those who have had some success in sobriety, formulate a "plan", which may consist in seeking help from others and, as time goes on, helping them, taking only such medications as are prescribed by your physician and avoiding prescriptions in other than limited amounts and carefully monitored renewal privileges" etc. etc. AA and other regimes such as Rational Recovery and Smart Recovery are helpful and, in my view, are not necessarily inconsistent in some respects. It is possible to attain sobriety alone but far less risky and more successful to have the help of others. "This above all...", as the Poet said. "Do it for yourself. Don't do it just for your spouse, companion, kids. Don't even do it exclusively for the dog!" (does the cat really care?)
Seems monotonous. But alcoholism is "monotonous" and deadly. It never changes. It gradually enslaves and eventually kills soul and body. It is the "frightful fiend" that treads close behind, again to quote a bit of poetry by a famous addict (Coleridge)
W.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
Originally Posted by wpainterw
Visited the ER. They found that the brain was O.K. but the trouble is further down. To paraphrase Shakespeare, "The fault, dear Brutus is not with our [brains] but with our [bowels]!". My bladder infection has returned ("Welcome back, old Fellow!") and my pernicious anemia has worsened. May have a colonoscopy in a week or so. Last time I had one was the morning after Easter and my wife was very upset that I had to drink laxative liquid all Easter Sunday. I rather enjoy colonoscopies. At times I take no anesthetic so I can watch on TV. Robert Benchley, many years back, had a skit called "Down the Alimentary Canal with Gun and Camera". This is more like Mr.Kurtz' fateful journey up the Congo in "Heart of Darkness".Did you know that there is a Patron Saint of prostates, hernias and related areas? St. Fiacre. Pray for me.
W.
W.
Good luck with your colonoscopy. Here's lookin' up your ol' address.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Boston
Posts: 15
It's hard to think about yourself with little one around but I have selfishly been focus on my early recovery. My wife is a trained nurse (and good loiking if I don't mind saying and though she is happy she has a toughness. She wants me to focus on me for a while and get my stuff together.
I am 9 days in after countless years and an amazing streak of daily drinking. Words of encouragement are so important for newbies!
Sounds like you take care of your. Please continue to do so!
and though she is happy she has a toughness. She wants me to focus on me for a while and get my stuff together. I am 9 days in after countless years and an amazing streak of daily drinking. Words of encouragement are so important for newbies!
Sounds like you take care of your. Please continue to do so!
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I'm glad you got to the dr and now they know the bladder infection has returned, hopefully it will be treated and respond well. It's lucky that your head bump didn't cause more difficulties for you. I hope things go well with the colonoscopy.
Your posts and your point of view are always welcome and appreciated here. Your experience is unique and I, personally, love your posts.
Your posts and your point of view are always welcome and appreciated here. Your experience is unique and I, personally, love your posts.
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Originally Posted by firstymer
This post is jam-packed with so many gems, I don't know where to begin. Thank you for making me smile.
Good luck with your colonoscopy. Here's lookin' up your ol' address.
Good luck with your colonoscopy. Here's lookin' up your ol' address.
Bill.
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