Soberwolf

Thinking of you Patricia

patricia68

Last night I had a light meal, I watched a movie, and I had a long shower.
I tried to meditate for 30 minutes but my mind was all over the place. I did help me to relax a little.
Sleep wasn't very good. I kept waking up with lots of anxiety and racing heart.

This morning the anxiety is really bad. Must be because I can't stop thinking about alcohol. The cravings are very strong. I know that alcohol will cause more anxiety but I still want an hour or so of calm and numbness.

My mind is playing all kinds of tricks to make me drink. All kinds of worries and panicky thoughts.

Dee is right, I've done this before and I know that I will feel better, I just don't know if I have the strength to follow through this time...

least

You have the strength within you if you look for it. You will be able to stay sober when you want to be sober more than you want to drink.

Soberwolf

You do have the strenght keep talking with us have you tried the cravings link & urgesurfing links ? just stay close to us start posting take your mind of it

You can so do this x

Delilah1

Hi Patricia,

You can do this, stay here, take a walk, journal, tea, do something until that urge passes.

❤️Delilah

Autumnlover19

Hi Patricia,
If I can do it, so can you! One minute at a time. The longer you stay away from booze, the more your anxiety will lessen. I promise.
The first days are hard. I didn't think I could go one day without a drink after my last bender. I just couldn't stop. But I knew I had to. So I finally stopped and it felt bad for a few days but then it got better. And it's still getting better, a month later.
I have bad days too but my sober muscles are getting stronger. I know that alcohol=anxiety for me.

ccam1973

Patricia, deep down you know without a doubt, you do have the strength to follow through. This is your time, don't let alcohol steal another minute from you.

Find your reasons for committing to being sober, write them down and read them often. You deserve a life without alcohol and we have confidence in you... but all of our confidence won't help unless you believe in yourself. Drinking is not an option, not now, not today, not ever for us.

Stick close to SR Patricia, you can do this.

patricia68

I went for a short walk and I'm drinking chamomile tea.

I walked really close to the liquor store but I didn't think of buying alcohol.

Now that I'm home the cravings are back. I keep thinking that I won't be able to cook dinner (even if it's just chili, easy to make), or make the bed without alcohol. All I can hear is "I can't do this, I can't do this"

SoberLeigh

Have you ever looked into AVRT, Patricia?

I'll post a link in a minute.

SoberLeigh

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html

^^^^ Here it is.

patricia68

Thank you SoberLeigh. Reading it right now.

Dee74

I had to keep it really simple Patricia.

Drinking was like pouring gas on the fire of my problems. I had to accept that and internalise it.

You have to stop thinking of drinking as a viable option.

It will take a little while for you to find other positive ways to deal with your feelings and emotions but I promise you that time will be well spent

I can't offer you advice on the benzos, but I hope you'll talk to someone about them.

D

silentrun

Hi Patricia. You can do this. That anxiety sucks but it does go away.

Upward2Enlightenment

That is your AV trying to trick you into drinking. You are much stronger than you think. Don't listen to the AV, it does nothing but lie. When it says you can't ... you tell it "I CAN and WILL DO THIS!

Zufrieden

Patricia,
I just read this entire thread and I am sending every powerful good thought that I can your way. This can be the turning point for you. You are right there and as you now know.... there is an entire community that has your back right now. I'm glad you are reading/re-reading the posts and hope you keep it up. Many of us have been where you are and understand to some extent what you are going through. Rough days ahead but they can be beautiful as well. I hope this is the last time you have to go through this.
Warm thoughts from California!
Jonathan

patricia68

This community with all the love and support and advice has given me so much hope. Thank you so much!

FBL

Sometimes we have to take it an hour at a time. You can do this, Patricia!

patricia68

You are right. The last 2 hours have been really tough with anxiety and cravings. One hour, one minute at a time.

RedAndy

That's the spirit Patricia, keep going - as uncomfortable as it may feel it genuinely will pass.

Soberwolf

With you all the way Patricia