KiKi0615

Patricia,

You have gotten some great support & suggestions on this post. I know it's hard & you feel like you are in hell right now but there IS a way out! I've had the kind of anxiety & panic you describe so bad that I was hospitalized for it 17 years ago. I still struggle with it but on a much much milder level. Through professional help I got it to where it's manageable. I've had anxiety since my very first memory at the age of 3.

One thing I'm SURE of is alcohol & nicotine make my anxiety 1000 X worse until those chemicals are completely out of my system (about 5-7 days) and then my anxiety gets a little better each day.

You have to want to help yourself Patricia. I believe you need professional help. You've been struggling so long. You know I really care about you! We have been in the same class since November.

You're caught in a vicious cycle. You drink because of your anxiety and drinking causes more anxiety so you drink more. PLUS the meds will NOT work when drinking on them.

You need help to get over the hump. I know it can be costly but if you're in Canada there are programs that will cost you nothing. I know you are worried about losing your son but he's gonna lose YOU if you don't get well. I know you are worried about the doctors taking away your anxiety medication but I can promise you that the only way they will do that is if you are drinking on it. It's very dangerous to drink on it. Often times fatal.

Patricia...I know you are sensitive & please know I only say this because I care.....but you need help! You don't have to live like this!!!

I've been praying for you but remember there isn't a magic wand. God helps those who help themselves. He will help you but you have to do the leg work.

Please find a way to get help. Your son needs you. Remember how much better you felt last fall after a month of sobriety? Multiply that times 100 & that's how good you could feel!

I care about you Patricia, but I can't stand by and watch you self-destruct. You are worth more than that! You are a wonderful person! God loves you!!!

K

FBL

Patricia, my anxiety was so bad that I forced one of my co-workers to take me to the emergency room. When I got there, I told the doctors EVERYTHING about my drinking. They put me on anti-anxiety medication and within a couple months I was off the meds and my anxiety went WAY down. That was the worst day of my life, but it was also the best day, because it was Day 1 of my recovery. That was nearly 7 years ago. You can make this your Day 1, but only if you stop drinking and get some help. I wish you the best Patricia. You CAN do this!!!

KiKi0615

How you doing Patricia?

patricia68

Thank you so much for all the support and advice. You guys give me so much hope.

I've been reading this thread over and over and every time I feel a little better. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

SoberLeigh

I am glad that you are feeling a little better, patricia.

We are here for you.

Dee74

how are you doing Patricia?

D

IfYouCanDream

Hi Patricia.
You can do this.
Sending good vibes your way, we care about you!

patricia68

The morning was very tough.
But tonight I managed to eat a little bit, drink lots of water and rest. Still having anxiety, it comes and goes, makes it hard to sleep.

Dee74

I hope tonight & tomorrow will be better Patricia

D

KiKi0615

Me too Patricia!!! (((Hug)))

Stubbs16

Hang in there Patricia. You can overcome this. Im still praying for you. Nothing is impossible for God. He knows your heart, he hears and understands your anguish. Try praying, if you believe. He will never let you down.

Pressmetilihurt

Did u stop? I went to a Kaiser program. I needed some structure to get my life back on track.

Soberwolf

With you all the way Patricia

FBL

The first few days are always the hardest. Hang in there, Patricia. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

Dee74

how are you today patricia?

D

patricia68

I'm struggling Dee. The panic and anxiety are awful today.

SoberLeigh

I am sorry that you are still struggling, Patricia.

The anxiety and panic should start to abate as your time sober increases.

Maybe a warm soothing bath would be relaxing this evening and help you get to sleep.

Dee74

I think it's going to take a little while for things to get better - but you've done this before and it has gotten better - keep the faith patricia

D

Upward2Enlightenment

You might want to look into essential oils like lavender to add to the bath. There are other essential oils that are supposed to help with anxiety ... you can do some research on Google.

uncorked

Hi Patricia, I hope you're feeling better. Alcohol made my anxiety go away for awhile, but when I woke up I was even more anxious because I couldn't remember what stupid thing I did or said the night before. I was lucky enough to go to inpatient rehab and I've been sober since Oct. 18. My husband filed for divorce and took temporary custody of our son. It was terrifying....but I'm getting almost 50% custody now. That's what keeps me sober...knowing I will lose my son if I drink.

It sounds like your anxiety is really out of control and the benzo/alcohol combo is a recipe for disaster. Is there any way you can go somewhere and detox under medical supervision? It can be dangerous to do alone, depending on how much you are drinking. Regarding your husband/son, the courts will look favorably on you if you take concrete actions to stop drinking.

Also try listening to guided meditations online. They are wonderful. Youtube has a bunch. Really helps to calm you down.

Keep posting here, we all care. And if I can stop drinking (at least a bottle of wine a day), so can you. You will feel so much better.