A Family Affair January 15th Weekender
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Domhan
Posts: 1,974
Congratulations on 30 months Mr Soberwolf!!! Thank you for all of your input on SR!!!
MLD, I think Ruby's suggestion of sending a letter has a lot of merit. You could write a little on it everyday. Very therapeutic I imagine. You could edit it for sending?
I think this weekender theme will resonate with us all!
B
MLD, I think Ruby's suggestion of sending a letter has a lot of merit. You could write a little on it everyday. Very therapeutic I imagine. You could edit it for sending?
I think this weekender theme will resonate with us all!
B
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
I have thought about a letter, but he's legally blind and wouldn't be able to read it. He has someone who comes in to help him a few times a week, but I'm not sure I want someone else reading it to him.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
In!
Family. Mine have all died, but once I learned about boundaries and stopped driving my road to self-destruction (in my thirties) things became tolerable. Prior to that, my mother and I were so unhealthily enmeshed that it caused us both a lot of pain.
I don't have residual anger or resentments now, but it took a lot of work on my part. Sobriety is the key to getting over all that family stuff, and when I started drinking again in my fifties, I started picking up resentments again. The only way for me to have a clear mind is to - - have a clear mind.
*Ring *Ring. My favorite.
I still use it every day, thanks Weasel and Mecanix.
Family. Mine have all died, but once I learned about boundaries and stopped driving my road to self-destruction (in my thirties) things became tolerable. Prior to that, my mother and I were so unhealthily enmeshed that it caused us both a lot of pain.
I don't have residual anger or resentments now, but it took a lot of work on my part. Sobriety is the key to getting over all that family stuff, and when I started drinking again in my fifties, I started picking up resentments again. The only way for me to have a clear mind is to - - have a clear mind.
*Ring *Ring. My favorite.
I still use it every day, thanks Weasel and Mecanix.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 3,233
I'm in.
Hmmmm family..... I need to text my Mama today thanks for the reminder. I've been putting it off since I've been sober, no idea why. I have to have big boundaries with my Dad he's not a very nice person but I still try to have him in my life in very small doses for the kids. My family is fairly small and getting smaller every year it seems. My husband's is huge and kind of overwhelming but very good people. I'm lucky. I hope to make it to more family get together this year. Being drunk and anxiety or hangovers have kept me from some of them the past few years.
Looking forward to another sober weekend with you all.
Hmmmm family..... I need to text my Mama today thanks for the reminder. I've been putting it off since I've been sober, no idea why. I have to have big boundaries with my Dad he's not a very nice person but I still try to have him in my life in very small doses for the kids. My family is fairly small and getting smaller every year it seems. My husband's is huge and kind of overwhelming but very good people. I'm lucky. I hope to make it to more family get together this year. Being drunk and anxiety or hangovers have kept me from some of them the past few years.
Looking forward to another sober weekend with you all.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
But I think I am learning that the depth of the relationships I have don't have to fit some mold I had been stuffing them into.
Alcohol allowed me the self delusion to carry on not noticing or not caring .
Nowadays i don't mind not knowing how things "should" be .. i have no answers but also i have no questions about life .
For the newly sober :-
cravings will happen , there will be up's and down's , maybe now is a good time to plan to not to drive past the bar , not be in the shop selling alcohol on a friday evening post work high ,
Some forethought might help those tough moments in early sobriety .
take care , m
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Ohio
Posts: 581
I'm in.
Just dropped son at school, he is my only family here. I have an "American Mom" and a "uncle" for Caleb who are two of my close friends and act much like family.
I speak with my parents regularly, their whole life revolves around alcohol. I am not particularly close with my sister. I was always the "difficult" child, head strong, determined and independent. My dad kind of put me on a pedestal as I was smart, always bragging to everyone about me. Made me uncomfortable and drove a wedge between me and my "average" sister (yes, his words), she always felt she could never compete with her older sister.
I have always done my own thing. Now my sister is very close with my parents, lives in the same village in the UK, and they spend most days together. I live across the atlantic. I get antsy and annoyed when my parents visit for long periods. Lived here 10 years now, and like my own space. I think because I moved out at 18 (to South America!) and never went home for long periods, in my parents heads they still see me as that independent, difficult teenager!
My son and I are extremely close, he is similar to me. He is very headstrong, he thinks what he thinks, and I respect that in him, just have to reel him in sometimes!
Just dropped son at school, he is my only family here. I have an "American Mom" and a "uncle" for Caleb who are two of my close friends and act much like family.
I speak with my parents regularly, their whole life revolves around alcohol. I am not particularly close with my sister. I was always the "difficult" child, head strong, determined and independent. My dad kind of put me on a pedestal as I was smart, always bragging to everyone about me. Made me uncomfortable and drove a wedge between me and my "average" sister (yes, his words), she always felt she could never compete with her older sister.
I have always done my own thing. Now my sister is very close with my parents, lives in the same village in the UK, and they spend most days together. I live across the atlantic. I get antsy and annoyed when my parents visit for long periods. Lived here 10 years now, and like my own space. I think because I moved out at 18 (to South America!) and never went home for long periods, in my parents heads they still see me as that independent, difficult teenager!
My son and I are extremely close, he is similar to me. He is very headstrong, he thinks what he thinks, and I respect that in him, just have to reel him in sometimes!
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
Mex, you nailed it.
Once I let go of the idea of the way things 'should be', a lot of my anxiety just vanished.
And yes...booze helped me live like an ostrich for decades. I didn't want to know or care. Now the unraveling begins but my head is clear and I can handle it little by little. Facing truths about your family is excruciating sometime, but necessary in order to move forward.
Once I let go of the idea of the way things 'should be', a lot of my anxiety just vanished.
And yes...booze helped me live like an ostrich for decades. I didn't want to know or care. Now the unraveling begins but my head is clear and I can handle it little by little. Facing truths about your family is excruciating sometime, but necessary in order to move forward.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 734
I'm in too - usually manage Thursday and Friday keeping up with things - no slips in any other sense tho :-)
Family have definitely taken a back seat for me, I'm ashamed to say - definitely not anymore they are my focus and making up for errors and selfish behaviour that have been all too consuming for so long.
Family have definitely taken a back seat for me, I'm ashamed to say - definitely not anymore they are my focus and making up for errors and selfish behaviour that have been all too consuming for so long.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Thanks Mecanix for the very practical tips on surviving Friday, sober.
I make plans to meet a sober friend at an AA meeting that starts at 7. Within the "witching hour" when I'd be likely to drink.
I was saddened to hear on the radio that Alan Rickman died. Also 69 and also of cancer. I always enjoyed watching him.
I make plans to meet a sober friend at an AA meeting that starts at 7. Within the "witching hour" when I'd be likely to drink.
I was saddened to hear on the radio that Alan Rickman died. Also 69 and also of cancer. I always enjoyed watching him.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: usa
Posts: 3,938
I'm in! !
No way is the weekender a has been, Ken....it's my very favorite and I look forward to it every day and every new weekend. I feel like you all are my family.
Congratulations saoutchic for losing shotgun virginity.
Congratulations sober wolf on 2.5 years.
Now you have me thinking about family. I had a spat with my sister 2 years ago. She was extremely rude. Before that, we were very close. I actually apologized 2x for my part. She didn't respond and carried it on. Then she called me and suggested we move on from it. No acknowledgemention of her rudeness. I've seen her and have been cordial. But I still feel a strong resentment. I know it's toxic and I should let it go.
how are you feeling, soberpotamus? ?
No way is the weekender a has been, Ken....it's my very favorite and I look forward to it every day and every new weekend. I feel like you all are my family.
Congratulations saoutchic for losing shotgun virginity.
Congratulations sober wolf on 2.5 years.
Now you have me thinking about family. I had a spat with my sister 2 years ago. She was extremely rude. Before that, we were very close. I actually apologized 2x for my part. She didn't respond and carried it on. Then she called me and suggested we move on from it. No acknowledgemention of her rudeness. I've seen her and have been cordial. But I still feel a strong resentment. I know it's toxic and I should let it go.
how are you feeling, soberpotamus? ?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Domhan
Posts: 1,974
Originally Posted by Weasel1966 
Mr Behan triggered an idea for next weekend's theme. A fun topic. I will share then! 
cliffhanger!!!!
Congrats Mr. Wolf!!!!
cliffhanger!!!!Congrats Mr. Wolf!!!!
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