tufty13

Cheers OT,

Hmm, so there really wasn't an opportunity to say much at all. I was asked if I wanted a glass of wine and I replied "no thanks, I've knocked it on the head and I'm going tee total". That was it really.
No one batted an eye lid or even paused to question me. Not because they've heard it all before because they haven't.

I now have to convince myself that it's because no one ever saw me at my worst. If I start to think like my AV does that the lack of reaction from anyone is proof that drinking isn't really a problem for me I'll be back to square one in no time.

Thanks for your post.

tufty13

Thank you and ditto, Mel

OpenTuning

I actually found I got a bigger reaction than I expected because people said I didn't have a problem so why would I stop. So that lack of reaction could easily be the other way. A sign that everyone agrees it's a good idea.

I love how AV can take any situation and start spinning it the way that suits what it wants best

Soberwolf

Great work Tufty

tufty13

Today is my day 73 which marks the longest I've refrained from alcohol since I was 17, I'll be 52 in a few weeks.

Looking back at my first post I'm amazed at how I could have ever have even questioned whether or not my drinking was a huge problem.

I've learned so much living with a clear head. I've realised and admitted to myself that I'm an addict, not just an alcoholic but someone who gets addicted to any substance or behaviour that culminates in a high. A reasonably common trait of an ACoA I believe.

I've learned that drinking DOESN'T resolve a thing. No sadness or discomfort of mine has ever been cured by getting wasted.

Since I've been sober my youngest daughter's partner passed away suddenly, my mother announced she has cancer and I parted company with my girlfriend (albeit we're back together now) but I still haven't drunk.

I've got so far to go in terms of being comfortable in myself and by myself but being sober at least gives me the clarity to find a way.

Sobriety hasn't turned out to be a panacea for everything but it's a great place to GROW from. Without it I'd still be stuck and muddling through life with very little awareness of what it actually takes to just "be".

Thank you to SR and everyone who took time to respond to my first post with their words of support and wisdom. The words "I'm so grateful" just doesn't do justice to how I feel.

doggonecarl

You have made remarkable progress, which I hope continues.

Soberwolf

my friend

tufty13

Hi Guys,

I can't believe how fast summer has gone. It's just flown by.

There's barely been a moment that I haven't rejoiced in my new life.
I couldn't list the things I've changed, all the good things that have happened to me and how lucky I feel.

I'm very aware my sobriety is only fledgling but I can't imagine ever wanting to drink again.

So I wanted to say thank you to this wonderful community and especially to everyone who responded to my first post. You guys were definitely the catalyst to change. :-)

Dee74

Always good to hear from you Tufty

D

lizard64

Hi Tufty. Thank you for being so open. I'm a new member too and just 24 hours without a drink. I'm at the point where the bad things happen every time I drink and I'm terrified that if I drink again I'll hurt or even kill myself during the constant black outs I have. Every morning after I drink I'm scared to get out of bed and find out what destruction I have caused! I've become an angry drunk and this morning I woke to find the glass door of the oven smashed to smithereens and cuts on my arms. At the moment I'm feeling terrified and anxious but I know that I have to try and hang in there if I want any kind of a future!

Hevyn

So happy for you Tufty. It's wonderful to be free and living the life we deserve.

tufty13

I’m wondering if this thread still resonates with anyone?

I’ve been away from here way too long.
I’ve been drinking for way too long.
I’ve been smoking weed for way too long.

How about now?

That’s the bad bits. The good bits are that I’m highly motivated to get back on track & this is my new day one. :-)

Dee74

I'm really glad you made it back Tufty - sorry you've been struggling but it's good to see you
what pulled you back to alcohol and weed?

D

GerandTwine

If the recovery attempts you’ve made in the past have not worked for you, why not try Addictive Voice Recognition Technique with its Big Plan pledge of permanent abstinence? It’s all well described in the Permanent Abstinence Forum here on SR.

Hevyn

I'm glad you came back to give sobriety another chance, tufty.

tufty13

Thanks for your good wishes, Dee. It’s lovely to catch up.

Toward the end of my time in Australia I met up with a really, really old friend. We’d known each other since we were five years old, we grew up together within the same friendship group. We were all punk rockers, went to music gigs together and generally had a wild adolescence. Anyway, here he was living in Melbourne, and I hadn’t seen him since I was in my 30’s. The only problem was that he hadn’t moved on and he was doing exactly the same thing as when we were teenagers. Drinking as much as ever and smoking as much as ever and to my eye, having just as much fun as ever.

So I joined in.

To be fair, it was bloody hot too! 🤣.

Anyway, it’s good to be back.

Day two. X

tufty13

Thank you, Hevyn.

CaptainHaddock

Hi tufty, welcome back. I hope you stay close and look forward to follow your progress. PS. I remember you were one of the first to reply to my opening post when I joined here in 2016.

tursiops999

Welcome back, Tufty.

saoutchik

Welcome back Tufty!

You are doing the right thing getting sober, hangovers were still hangovers but they could be laughed about when we were young (quite often over another beer) As we get a bit older they are just painful and debilitating and of there can be much worse health problems.

You have quit before so you know you can do it, you just have to remember that proving you can stop does not mean you can go back to being a "normal" drinker. The "never again" aspect took a bit of mental adjustment but after a while I stopped thinking about it 99.9% of the time.