Back again after 9 months
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: sydney nsw
Posts: 785
Thanks guys for the positive feedback. I could NEVER do this without you and SR..If I am an inspiration I am glad I make a difference to you. I get inspired myself constantly by reading posts here. I dont think I am specially strong as such I have got my head around my addiction, i have worked out the reasosn which made me reach for the bottle/s . It was a matter of having a chat to myself and really looking at myself and asking myself. Is this all I want from life? I have a mother that is diagnosed with ALS or motor neurone disease. I think this has been a huge catalyst innchanging my outlook on life.. Our lives can change in a heartbeat.. Why suffer when one is physicslly healthy. I did not want to go down that path anymore. The path of self destruction. Life is short and meant to be enjoyed., and a chemical haze is not living a life.. Its a sad existence that we do not realise until something happens to us to make as "wake up" . We have a disease but we can heal and learn to find ourselves and like ourselves again.. I like getting to know the old me.. A friend actually had a chat to my partner on the phone 2 days ago and mentioned that ,, sydneman has changed so much. He is not confrontational as before.. This friend by the way has only known me as a drunk.. Its interesting to be sober and see the clarity.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: sydney nsw
Posts: 785
Day 20 has come..It is Sunday morning and the sun is shining and its going to be another beautiful spring day here in Sydney...Feeling good and getting ready for my walk. Checking in here as I always do first thing in the morning, reading your inspirational posts and to see how everybody is doing.. . These booze free day digits increase pretty fast and day 1 seems such a long time a go. However, I will never forget how I felt on day 1. That memory has to stay with me forever to keep going. I never want to feel like that again.Have a great Sunday peeps, stay strong and another week starts tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 74
Congrats Sydney!! I read this entire thread and it's 1000% identical to mine, where I've also been posting frequent updates of my first 37 days, keeping it as a journal of sorts. As you approach the AWESOME day 30, take a minute to read mine. See how identical our updates are, and then use my latest post to your advantage. Beyond day 30 became a game of cat and mouse. Use my test results instead of possibly testing same yourself. 
Congrats again. Catch up to you soon!
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-now-what.html
Congrats again. Catch up to you soon!http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-now-what.html
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: sydney nsw
Posts: 785
Hey PB,
I posted this on your thread as well....
wow, read all your posts...Yes we are human. Same thing happened to me last time I was sober for 30 days..Xmas came, and was peer pressured to have a beer, or perhaps I use that as an excuse.. I shouldn't have had that drink, as it started from there and did not finish until 20 days ago..
I wouldn't say that your hooray amazing stories that you posted are a waste. They are an inspiration to me and many others. Stories like yours have gotten me to day 20 and keep me pushing further.
Today my new normal has become normal to me. I don't miss the booze unless its just in front of my eyes like it was at the lounge in the hotel...I just kept on reminding myself how I would feel tomorrow. That has been my saviour so far reminding myself how I used to be and how I used to feel. I choose not to anymore. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I also remember how disappointed I was after that Xmas drink and how it let to another binge lasting over several months. I felt that I let my partner, the SR family down, showed how weak I was and could not commit. This made my drinking from then on even worse!! All lost because of drinking and feeling "good" for a few hours. I thought I could moderate, well that was not to be. Now I am determined to give myself a chance and push with this. This Xmas we are staying home so no temptations this year, thank god. I am scheduled for my bloods end of November and I want to have normal results.
PB you done so well, you know you can do it again. Day 1 is going to turn to 36 again, you know what made you crack, avoid it. Perhaps you thought you could moderate or 1 wouldn't hurt, well you now know the answer now.
The December 1 blood test are still going to show normal results as you quit again today, your appointment is almost 5 weeks away.
Yes we are very similar with same characteristics in our sobriety!!
Keep posting so I know how you going!!!
I posted this on your thread as well....
wow, read all your posts...Yes we are human. Same thing happened to me last time I was sober for 30 days..Xmas came, and was peer pressured to have a beer, or perhaps I use that as an excuse.. I shouldn't have had that drink, as it started from there and did not finish until 20 days ago..
I wouldn't say that your hooray amazing stories that you posted are a waste. They are an inspiration to me and many others. Stories like yours have gotten me to day 20 and keep me pushing further.
Today my new normal has become normal to me. I don't miss the booze unless its just in front of my eyes like it was at the lounge in the hotel...I just kept on reminding myself how I would feel tomorrow. That has been my saviour so far reminding myself how I used to be and how I used to feel. I choose not to anymore. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I also remember how disappointed I was after that Xmas drink and how it let to another binge lasting over several months. I felt that I let my partner, the SR family down, showed how weak I was and could not commit. This made my drinking from then on even worse!! All lost because of drinking and feeling "good" for a few hours. I thought I could moderate, well that was not to be. Now I am determined to give myself a chance and push with this. This Xmas we are staying home so no temptations this year, thank god. I am scheduled for my bloods end of November and I want to have normal results.
PB you done so well, you know you can do it again. Day 1 is going to turn to 36 again, you know what made you crack, avoid it. Perhaps you thought you could moderate or 1 wouldn't hurt, well you now know the answer now.
The December 1 blood test are still going to show normal results as you quit again today, your appointment is almost 5 weeks away.
Yes we are very similar with same characteristics in our sobriety!!
Keep posting so I know how you going!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: sydney nsw
Posts: 785
Day 23 has come. Yes, yesterday was a toughie, everything went wrong and I was stressed to the max and I really could have thrown this all in and had copious amounts of alcohol. I simply had had enough.
I took the ferry home after a work meeting we had at a downtown hotel.
At this work seminar I was sitting next to some interstate colleagues who kept on talking about Christmas, vineyards and booze for the whole day. I could not move so had to listen to it and pretend to enjoy their conversation. We had all met previously at another work function and they knew I drank, as we all got trashed together then. I did not know them that well so for them to know that I quit drinking was not really a topic that I wanted to bring up and really none of their business. Anyway, listening to this booze talk all day was getting boring. Every type of wine was discussed from red to white...they said that they couldn't wait to get on the plane home after the meeting and have drinks.... all day about alcohol.
Being on the water and going fast made me feel calmer and gave me time to think. Of course I said to myself "You don't drink anymore so what you going on about" . I knew there was going to be a day like this coming up in the future when I was sober and I had to be prepared on how to cope and come up with solutions/answers to situations like this without reaching the bottle. The bottle was not the answer for me yesterday. I was a nightmare to be around at home last night. I had a small argument with my partner about nothing actually. I was just snappy, tense and just in a foul mood the whole evening. Was I jealous and envious about my colleagues? What made me feel this way I asked myself trying to understand my own behaviour. Why was I taking this out on my partner? I went to bed with all these questions in my head trying to find answers.
After a 9 hour sleep (my dreams have been so trippy the last weeks) I today feel back to normal head space again. Day 23, I should embrace it and just soldier on. I knew it was going to be a bumpy ride, yesterday was yesterday so I need to focus on today. Look forward and to the future not to the past.. keep going guys...
I took the ferry home after a work meeting we had at a downtown hotel.
At this work seminar I was sitting next to some interstate colleagues who kept on talking about Christmas, vineyards and booze for the whole day. I could not move so had to listen to it and pretend to enjoy their conversation. We had all met previously at another work function and they knew I drank, as we all got trashed together then. I did not know them that well so for them to know that I quit drinking was not really a topic that I wanted to bring up and really none of their business. Anyway, listening to this booze talk all day was getting boring. Every type of wine was discussed from red to white...they said that they couldn't wait to get on the plane home after the meeting and have drinks.... all day about alcohol.
Being on the water and going fast made me feel calmer and gave me time to think. Of course I said to myself "You don't drink anymore so what you going on about" . I knew there was going to be a day like this coming up in the future when I was sober and I had to be prepared on how to cope and come up with solutions/answers to situations like this without reaching the bottle. The bottle was not the answer for me yesterday. I was a nightmare to be around at home last night. I had a small argument with my partner about nothing actually. I was just snappy, tense and just in a foul mood the whole evening. Was I jealous and envious about my colleagues? What made me feel this way I asked myself trying to understand my own behaviour. Why was I taking this out on my partner? I went to bed with all these questions in my head trying to find answers.
After a 9 hour sleep (my dreams have been so trippy the last weeks) I today feel back to normal head space again. Day 23, I should embrace it and just soldier on. I knew it was going to be a bumpy ride, yesterday was yesterday so I need to focus on today. Look forward and to the future not to the past.. keep going guys...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,877
Congratulations on 23 days, sydneyman.
In early sobriety, we are learning how to deal with life without our go-to coping skills. We are forced to find new and healthy ways to cope.
Have you ever tried Mindfullness? Or deep breathing?
In early sobriety, we are learning how to deal with life without our go-to coping skills. We are forced to find new and healthy ways to cope.
Have you ever tried Mindfullness? Or deep breathing?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: sydney nsw
Posts: 785
Congratulations on 23 days, sydneyman.
In early sobriety, we are learning how to deal with life without our go-to coping skills. We are forced to find new and healthy ways to cope.
Have you ever tried Mindfullness? Or deep breathing?
__________________
Yes, deep breathing is an exercise I do frequently, calms me down...I want to learn meditation and looking into this at the moment as well. Today is a good day!!
In early sobriety, we are learning how to deal with life without our go-to coping skills. We are forced to find new and healthy ways to cope.
Have you ever tried Mindfullness? Or deep breathing?
__________________
Yes, deep breathing is an exercise I do frequently, calms me down...I want to learn meditation and looking into this at the moment as well. Today is a good day!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 1,053
23 days is great. And I know what you're talking about. Now when everyone goes drinking I usually just go back to my hotel room. I'm safer that way and now (after almost 10 months) it's getting to be normal for me. Try not to dwell on being jealous.
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