New Journal To Recovery
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 636
Looking at my sobriety timer and it states:
“Happy Anniversary! You’ve been clean since October 29, 2015. 1 Month”
I know a lot of people are here struggling and I don’t want to make it seem like my life is all perfect now that Im sober, but I will admit, the positives outweigh the negative.
I was off from work for the past 4 days and the old me would of took advantage of this by going on a 4 day binge. Instead, I worked out and completed an online course at home. If I was drinking, I would be too hungover to get out of bed and do any productivity.
Im so excited to go to the gym that it scares me at times. Even when im tired I force myself but once im in, I have a blast of energy and could work out for over 2 hours if I wanted to. Monday is rest day and im actually not happy about it lol. Today I did over 5 muscle ups but it was assisted (pull your upper body over the pull up bar and perform a dip) see it on youtube it’s pretty cool and requires a lot of strength. This gave me great confidence in my ability and life overall.
I was planning to go on a vacation and took the advice from you guys to not go. At first I wanted and knew that I would slip up. My parents come from a small Caribbean island and I come from a family of alcoholics. The country is full of corruption and poverty and you will see everybody drinking. Drinking and driving is allowed and you can drink in public. I’m not ready for that environment and I want to take my sobriety serious this time.
The down side of being sober is the solitary but now I see it as a good thing. Some people are not comfortable being by themselves. I however, been able to take self-inventory on what I can do to improve myself. It’s tough but sobriety has given me the power of discipline.
Thank you all
“Happy Anniversary! You’ve been clean since October 29, 2015. 1 Month”
I know a lot of people are here struggling and I don’t want to make it seem like my life is all perfect now that Im sober, but I will admit, the positives outweigh the negative.
I was off from work for the past 4 days and the old me would of took advantage of this by going on a 4 day binge. Instead, I worked out and completed an online course at home. If I was drinking, I would be too hungover to get out of bed and do any productivity.
Im so excited to go to the gym that it scares me at times. Even when im tired I force myself but once im in, I have a blast of energy and could work out for over 2 hours if I wanted to. Monday is rest day and im actually not happy about it lol. Today I did over 5 muscle ups but it was assisted (pull your upper body over the pull up bar and perform a dip) see it on youtube it’s pretty cool and requires a lot of strength. This gave me great confidence in my ability and life overall.
I was planning to go on a vacation and took the advice from you guys to not go. At first I wanted and knew that I would slip up. My parents come from a small Caribbean island and I come from a family of alcoholics. The country is full of corruption and poverty and you will see everybody drinking. Drinking and driving is allowed and you can drink in public. I’m not ready for that environment and I want to take my sobriety serious this time.
The down side of being sober is the solitary but now I see it as a good thing. Some people are not comfortable being by themselves. I however, been able to take self-inventory on what I can do to improve myself. It’s tough but sobriety has given me the power of discipline.
Thank you all
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 544
You really sound well. And I think you're making a smart decision about the vacation - definitely give yourself some more sober time before you encounter that type of environment.
I think it's cool that you're strengthening your body, mind, and sobriety all at the same time. Keep up the good work!
I think it's cool that you're strengthening your body, mind, and sobriety all at the same time. Keep up the good work!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 636
Hello all this is my nightly check in.
I don't feel the need to post 6 times a day anymore as Im getting better at controlling my desire to drink. I feel like im repeating myself with my post as i go through my day to day. Today was a complete waste as far as coming home and getting work done. I made my to-do list earlier and as soon as i got home, i went straight to sleep. This must be from all the stress i put my on body when i go to the gym. I had plans to go thru all my task but my mind was just telling me to take a 20 minute nap that turned out to 2 hours.
Im going to force myself to do atleast one task which is to read for 25 minutes, maybe it will make me feel better. Feeling a bit down, scared for the future, thinking about my career and how im underpaid in my job and doing other people's work. I have plans to start an online business and im networking, learning new skills and stepping out of my comfort zone. That has also put me under stress. I want to make something out of myself and im tired of making other people money. I don't want to keep trading my time for money especially when you work for more than 9 hours a day at a job.
Im hanging in there, i know it's just one of those days and it will get better. 31 days is far but i still feel that im early in my recovery and don't want to get comfortable and do something stupid. I tend to be hard on myself for my past and even my present. Not being able to drive for 2 years is still bothering me and i think about this everyday. That one night of drinking has caused me all these problems from fines, community service and treatment programs that i have to attend a pay for is frustrating me. ahhhh, i just had to vent!
Thank you for listening.
I don't feel the need to post 6 times a day anymore as Im getting better at controlling my desire to drink. I feel like im repeating myself with my post as i go through my day to day. Today was a complete waste as far as coming home and getting work done. I made my to-do list earlier and as soon as i got home, i went straight to sleep. This must be from all the stress i put my on body when i go to the gym. I had plans to go thru all my task but my mind was just telling me to take a 20 minute nap that turned out to 2 hours.
Im going to force myself to do atleast one task which is to read for 25 minutes, maybe it will make me feel better. Feeling a bit down, scared for the future, thinking about my career and how im underpaid in my job and doing other people's work. I have plans to start an online business and im networking, learning new skills and stepping out of my comfort zone. That has also put me under stress. I want to make something out of myself and im tired of making other people money. I don't want to keep trading my time for money especially when you work for more than 9 hours a day at a job.
Im hanging in there, i know it's just one of those days and it will get better. 31 days is far but i still feel that im early in my recovery and don't want to get comfortable and do something stupid. I tend to be hard on myself for my past and even my present. Not being able to drive for 2 years is still bothering me and i think about this everyday. That one night of drinking has caused me all these problems from fines, community service and treatment programs that i have to attend a pay for is frustrating me. ahhhh, i just had to vent!
Thank you for listening.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 507
You're doing a lot of stressful things right now. Dealing with the fallout from a DUI, getting sober, looking into a new career, all your self-improvement tasks. No wonder your body might occasionally feel the need to shut down.
As you say, you're still early days in your sobriety and there's no shame in taking some time off now and then from making plans for the future, in order to get the rest, mental and physical, that you need. Staying sober is the biggest change you're making for a better future, so make sure you don't push yourself too hard and put that at risk. It's all about finding the right balance.
As you say, you're still early days in your sobriety and there's no shame in taking some time off now and then from making plans for the future, in order to get the rest, mental and physical, that you need. Staying sober is the biggest change you're making for a better future, so make sure you don't push yourself too hard and put that at risk. It's all about finding the right balance.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,886
Originally Posted by OpenTuning 
You're doing a lot of stressful things right now. Dealing with the fallout from a DUI, getting sober, looking into a new career, all your self-improvement tasks. No wonder your body might occasionally feel the need to shut down.
As you say, you're still early days in your sobriety and there's no shame in taking some time off now and then from making plans for the future, in order to get the rest, mental and physical, that you need. Staying sober is the biggest change you're making for a better future, so make sure you don't push yourself too hard and put that at risk. It's all about finding the right balance.
As you say, you're still early days in your sobriety and there's no shame in taking some time off now and then from making plans for the future, in order to get the rest, mental and physical, that you need. Staying sober is the biggest change you're making for a better future, so make sure you don't push yourself too hard and put that at risk. It's all about finding the right balance.
It's important to have some days of rest; allow yourself some chill time, GhostFace.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 636
You guys are right. I'm under alot if stress right now with work and and all my legal troubles. I just don't want to sit around and wait. I feel like I should work with what I have right now and make it work
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 544
Hey Ghost. I agree with the others, pace yourself for the long run. . .
On another note, when I hit a month sober, I felt something deep inside telling me that it was going to stick this time. I told my therapist and she warned me about pink clouds and all. But I knew things were going to be different because in the past, I never fully committed to it. Never had a plan. But this time I was all-in. And it gave me a sense of peace knowing that things were going to be okay. I hope you feel that same thing, too.
On another note, when I hit a month sober, I felt something deep inside telling me that it was going to stick this time. I told my therapist and she warned me about pink clouds and all. But I knew things were going to be different because in the past, I never fully committed to it. Never had a plan. But this time I was all-in. And it gave me a sense of peace knowing that things were going to be okay. I hope you feel that same thing, too.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 636
Originally Posted by On The Road
Hey Ghost. I agree with the others, pace yourself for the long run. . .
On another note, when I hit a month sober, I felt something deep inside telling me that it was going to stick this time. I told my therapist and she warned me about pink clouds and all. But I knew things were going to be different because in the past, I never fully committed to it. Never had a plan. But this time I was all-in. And it gave me a sense of peace knowing that things were going to be okay. I hope you feel that same thing, too.
On another note, when I hit a month sober, I felt something deep inside telling me that it was going to stick this time. I told my therapist and she warned me about pink clouds and all. But I knew things were going to be different because in the past, I never fully committed to it. Never had a plan. But this time I was all-in. And it gave me a sense of peace knowing that things were going to be okay. I hope you feel that same thing, too.
Am i too hard on myself. Yes, as others have told me and sometime im not grateful for all that i accomplished. I guess im never content.
My job is really boring me and it's something i don't want to do for the next 30 years. My checked even bounced and i have lying boss who always acts as a victim of his circumstances. It's not easy for me to find work in my field due to background checks and not being able to drive so i have to stick it out. It frustrates me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 636
33 days sober!
I thought this would get easier with time but i see how tough it can be to change so i commend everybody in here that has been able to stay sober. I felt a lot of mood swings in the past 3 days from depression, tiredness and feeling real lonely. No longer do i have the urges to drink just boredom but i quickly go thru my to-do list to keep myself occupied.
Im still working my plan and most important, im making life changes that will better my lifestyle. A sober mind scares me as i see how my actions affect my future. Before i was able to escape with drinking but now i have to face my problems head on. It's good that im sober and have no substance to escape life so i have no choice but to man up and get things done. Im still working my plan today which consist of gym, posting here and helping others and going thru my to-do list.
I thought this would get easier with time but i see how tough it can be to change so i commend everybody in here that has been able to stay sober. I felt a lot of mood swings in the past 3 days from depression, tiredness and feeling real lonely. No longer do i have the urges to drink just boredom but i quickly go thru my to-do list to keep myself occupied.
Im still working my plan and most important, im making life changes that will better my lifestyle. A sober mind scares me as i see how my actions affect my future. Before i was able to escape with drinking but now i have to face my problems head on. It's good that im sober and have no substance to escape life so i have no choice but to man up and get things done. Im still working my plan today which consist of gym, posting here and helping others and going thru my to-do list.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 544
Ghost. My emotions were all over the place for the first couple of months. I guess the years of numbing myself took some time to wear off. I was also very tired, so I didn't fight it and went to bed early.
Give yourself some more time and your moods and emotions will start to even out. The fatigue will get better, too. Keep hanging in there.
Give yourself some more time and your moods and emotions will start to even out. The fatigue will get better, too. Keep hanging in there.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 636
Thanks. It the top of the morning I'm feeling better and have a positive outlook towards today.
So much to do in only 24 hours.
The hard part for me is changing my lifestyle and even if it's for the better, I have to learn to adapt.
One thing I noticed is that my phone is not ringing anymore so this adds more to the solitude. This is what I used to fear but now I'm embracing it.
Been having sleepless nights and motions of fear for the future. It's weird but again I'm embracing these changes and building confidence that I will get through these tough times.
So much to do in only 24 hours.
The hard part for me is changing my lifestyle and even if it's for the better, I have to learn to adapt.
One thing I noticed is that my phone is not ringing anymore so this adds more to the solitude. This is what I used to fear but now I'm embracing it.
Been having sleepless nights and motions of fear for the future. It's weird but again I'm embracing these changes and building confidence that I will get through these tough times.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 544
I totally get the fear of the future thing. My mind likes to wander off and worry about all sorts of things out of my control. It makes me anxious and is definitely a trigger for me.
Here's what I do to cope: Instead of thinking about "the future" and all of the unknowns associated with it, I limit my concerns to a smaller timeline that has three parts to it:
1. Today - what can I change/do right now? What are the good, bad, indifferent things I need to deal with?
2. Last week - I make time at least once a week to reflect on things I did last week. What was good and bad? And how did I handle things? What did learn about myself? What did I learn about how I could handle things better the next time they come up?
3. Tomorrow - based on what I'm doing today and what I've learned about myself last week, how can I apply that to the things I anticipate happening tomorrow?
Maybe there's something in here you can use for yourself to help minimize your fear of future events.
Here's what I do to cope: Instead of thinking about "the future" and all of the unknowns associated with it, I limit my concerns to a smaller timeline that has three parts to it:
1. Today - what can I change/do right now? What are the good, bad, indifferent things I need to deal with?
2. Last week - I make time at least once a week to reflect on things I did last week. What was good and bad? And how did I handle things? What did learn about myself? What did I learn about how I could handle things better the next time they come up?
3. Tomorrow - based on what I'm doing today and what I've learned about myself last week, how can I apply that to the things I anticipate happening tomorrow?
Maybe there's something in here you can use for yourself to help minimize your fear of future events.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,886
Originally Posted by GhostFace
Thanks. It the top of the morning I'm feeling better and have a positive outlook towards today.
So much to do in only 24 hours.
The hard part for me is changing my lifestyle and even if it's for the better, I have to learn to adapt.
One thing I noticed is that my phone is not ringing anymore so this adds more to the solitude. This is what I used to fear but now I'm embracing it.
Been having sleepless nights and motions of fear for the future. It's weird but again I'm embracing these changes and building confidence that I will get through these tough times.
So much to do in only 24 hours.
The hard part for me is changing my lifestyle and even if it's for the better, I have to learn to adapt.
One thing I noticed is that my phone is not ringing anymore so this adds more to the solitude. This is what I used to fear but now I'm embracing it.
Been having sleepless nights and motions of fear for the future. It's weird but again I'm embracing these changes and building confidence that I will get through these tough times.
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