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Trying to quit Drinking is hard

Old 04-29-2015, 11:11 AM
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Trying to quit Drinking is hard

Reasons I want to quit.

My marriage hurts when I drink.

I am sure it is hurting my health.

I am convicted by the Holy Spirit to quit, and cannot stand before God when I drink.

I am studying to be a pastor at a seminary.


So... How do I start. Things I've tried

I told my wife I had snuck alcohol and she got pretty mad. I have told her before that I was trying to quit and at this point she is losing hope in me. She is pretty sick of dealing with it at all.

I have a good friend who can keep me accountable and has been, but it doesn't really help a ton.

I've never done AA or anything like it but may consider it, although I am incredibly busy with studies. Help me!
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Old 04-29-2015, 11:18 AM
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Welcome to SoberRecovery, Drummer!

You'll find this site to be a great source opf inspiration and information. Read around and post often!

Many communities have Christian "Celebrate Recovery" meetings, and you may find this program more attractive than AA.
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Old 04-29-2015, 11:48 AM
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Thank you so much! I felt weird about it but called and left a message to a group nearby.
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Old 04-29-2015, 12:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Drummer5000 View Post

I've never done AA or anything like it but may consider it, although I am incredibly busy with studies. Help me!

I found that staying sober gave me plenty of extra productive time, not to mention being in a frame of mind where I can utilise that time more productively. I go to AA a few times a week - it takes about 5 hours out of my week. That's far less time than I used to give to alcohol.

Good luck whatever you decide, but I've found AA to be a great option, especially if you are comfortable with a spiritual programme, which it sounds like you would be.
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Old 04-29-2015, 12:11 PM
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Welcome Drummer5000
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Old 04-29-2015, 12:23 PM
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Welcome to the family! The most important thing for me in order to stay sober was to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink.
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Old 04-29-2015, 12:25 PM
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How would I found out about A A programs near me?
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Old 04-29-2015, 12:26 PM
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Welcome Drummer. There are a lot of folks here who understand and have been exactly where you are. There is also a lot of support here too. Glad you have reached out locally, having in-person support can be very helpful too.
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Old 04-29-2015, 12:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Drummer5000 View Post
How would I found out about A A programs near me?
Just look in your phone book or google AA along with your zip code or the name of the city you live in.
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Old 04-29-2015, 12:27 PM
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Welcome to SR!

NOT drinking is actually easier than drinking, especially when I had to hide my drinking. I had to get money she wouldn't know I was going to spend on liquor, stop at the store, sneak it into the house, sneak it into my mouth, try to act sober, argue when she realized I was drinking again, deal with the hangover, etc. Not drinking involves no effort whatsoever.

BEING HAPPY about not drinking when I have that dirty bastid whispering in my head all day about how nice a couple of drinks would be - well that can be difficult.

It gets easier, but only if you stick with it.

You can do this.
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Old 04-29-2015, 12:30 PM
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I feel silly, the interwebs told me all I need to know about AA lol
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Old 04-29-2015, 12:47 PM
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Don't feel silly - it's all a learning curve eh. Did you find the meeting search facility? Hope you find some good ones near you. They can vary a lot, so it's worth trying a few different ones to see where you feel most comfortable. There's a thread on here somewhere that says about what to expect at an AA meeting I think.
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Old 04-29-2015, 12:47 PM
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Can just show up to closed meetings??
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Old 04-29-2015, 12:49 PM
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Closed meetings are for alcoholics only. If you identify as an alcoholic, you are more than welcome at a closed meeting.
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Old 04-29-2015, 01:01 PM
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Yes - what Least said.

There is no necessity to contact anyone before you go. Some people do so, but people are friendly and will show you to the kettle / tea / coffee and chat to any newcomers. (We've all been new ourselves and remember what it's like). Main things I wasn't prepared for...

- Some meetings pass round readings for everyone to take a turn reading aloud from - if you're not comfortable reading it out you can just say 'pass' and pass the sheet to the next person - nobody will mind in the least

- There is usually a collection at some point in the meeting to cover running costs so it's worth making sure you have some change in your pocket

- Most meetings end in everyone hold in hands in a circle and saying a prayer together (Serenity Prayer where I'm from, but I believe it's not always that).

- Some people (me being one of them) can find their first meetings a little overwhelming and can get a little teary-eyed. Might be worth having a tissue in your pocket if you could be that way inclined
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Old 04-29-2015, 01:08 PM
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Just go to Alcoholics Anonymous and the meetings near you. You can look it up by zip or city. Just click
On Alcoholics Anonymous and the link is embedded
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Old 04-29-2015, 01:10 PM
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Ok so I found a meeting I think, and am planning on going, but it is at 10:00 pm. Although this is late, it meets every day.

Can you help me know what to expect? I'm sure I could find something online somewhere. I am a Christian and it is really important to me that the meeting is Christian as well. As a Christian will I feel out of place at all? Should I be ready to answer any weird questions?
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Old 04-29-2015, 01:12 PM
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I'm just now noting that you already answered my question Beccybean. Thanks! Any other sage advice? I am a little worried about stopping on the way back and sneaking something. My mind is telling me it would be easy... ugh
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Old 04-29-2015, 01:20 PM
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As a christian it may well be easier to accept the spiritual speak that many agnostics find uncomfortable at first. As far as questions - Other thank being asked to introduce yourself (Would any newcomers introduce themselves by their first names so we may become better acquainted' - to which you just say 'I'm X, and I'm an alcoholic, This is my first meeting' or similar), no, there will be no questions at all other than general chit-chat questions from others during breaks or waiting for the meeting to start in a friendly way.

When people share you will have a chance to say more if you wish, but there is no expectation or pressure to do so. Most people just tend to listen in their first meeting. I shared, but I didn't know I didn't have to. Also, there was only about 6 people at my first meeting. Some meetings are much bigger than that.

Most of the AA books, including The Big Book, and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions can be downloaded free of charge from the AA website if you wanted to read about it all, but there's no need at first.
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Old 04-29-2015, 01:20 PM
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AA is not a strictly Christian program, but you should feel that it is compatible with your religion.

"Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other, that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for AA membership. We are self supporting through our own contributions. AA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization, or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics achieve sobriety."
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