Eddiebuckle

2much,

I am sorry that you believe that drinking is still your best option. Our disease doesn't re-set the clock when we quit for awhile, it just doesn't work that way.

As to friendship, my experience with AA has been very different. The only situation where I have seen AA people not make an effort to build a friendship is when they don't think the person is serious about recovery. We all have been where you are - on the fence, wanting the benefits of sobriety but not quite ready to make a 100% commitment to get it. I went a very long time knowing that I was an exceptional drinker, and I chalked it up to choice. The truth is, I couldn't go more than 24 hours without a drink for the last 10+ years of my drinking. And the consequences of that choice became ever more stark.

You will sometimes hear in the rooms "they just aren't done yet." Perhaps you've sent this message out unintentionally through words and actions. I have been in the program since February 2010and my experience is this: if AA doesn't offer sober fellowship, nobody does. These folks are human, if you want to get a friend, you need to be a friend: be open and friendly to those that reach out, be yourself, talk about where you truly are and how you feel. The friendships will fall into place in due course.

I strongly suggest you get back to a meeting, introduce yourself, get some names and phone numbers of people who have what you want. This is how AA works.

Good luck!

Croissant

What response could you expect? Others have sympathised, hell, we've all been there.

But re read your original post. What response were you expecting? We are ALL alcoholics....you can't fool us. We've had all those lies run through our heads too. Are you wanting to face facts, or keep listening to the bratty AV?

And no, no one is ever going to post, hey, great, you're drunk, yep, it's a bump....give moderating a shot....unless you want us to enable you?

Only you are buying the alcohol, mate.

Dee74

There's some really fantastic advice here.
I genuinely sorry you can't see the care and concern here right now 2much.

I'm kinda proud at how folks have kept emotions in check here in order to try and help you.

The only post I had to remove was one of mine....

D

LadyBlue0527

The most important love that you need right now is not from others. It needs to come from within. You'll never find that in a bottle or glass.

ScottFromWI

Your addiction regrets this thread because we aren't approving your drinking. You've gotten a wealth of good advice and support and care that the sober you should recognize. Then bottom line is than you willingly bought a LOT of alcohol and you are an alcoholic. You are trying to rationalize it but it's not gonna happen. I hope you can sober up and start back on the track you had going.. But we can't make you put down the bottle.

Stoogy

Gutted to hear this, c'mon get back to were you should be.
You can do this.

flutter

I also think that you got some great feedback. "Love" and support here doesn't always come as an "atta boy!!" pat on the back. A lot of us have gone back to drinking before finally stopping, and a lot of us have felt the pain that it leads to, and difficulty in quitting again. I think posts like yours trigger a deep concern for you, based on awful experiences with our own addictions, and the tricks that our addictions play on our spirits. Please stay. If every one of us was able to put the drink down and never look back effortlessly and painlessly, this board wouldn't even exist.

Mountainmanbob

ones are just being honest with you
seems you want it sugar coated

what I see going on here is
just a slight touch of tough love

MM

Try18

I normally use the chat room nowadays, but this thread has stirred up something in me. There is so much compassion and support here for you, 2much2pain. To say you aren't feeling the love and are going to 'troll' for a while is a bit like throwing your toys out the pram because noone is agreeing with you.

Should you come across sober friends in real life, or go into an AA meeting and declare what you did at the beginning of this thread, drunk, I doubt you would receive the relatively gentle advice you have received here. Far more harsher words would be said, especially in the presence of Newcomers and others struggling.

I'm sorry if this seems harsh. I know how it feels to struggle. I am at 6 days sober and have lost nearly everything. But it has perhaps been the jolt I needed to realise no matter what I have - family, friends, job, school, etc.... drink takes that all away, be it quickly or slowly. And I'm left with the solution ... look inside myself, and get working on recovery. Alcohol provides no solutions, it robs you of everything. A few months ago I was slipping up from time to time, had a lot still in my life. Now? Different story. Am I giving up? Heck no. I feel more determined than ever, no matter how much emotional pain I feel right now, the only answer is sobriety, as drink brought me here.

I wish you well.

2muchpain

Keeping emotions in check. Why would my comments upset people? I just don't get it. I must be missing something. I'm not saying taking a break from drinking is a good thing and I'm sorry if people took it that way.
All I know is that many other people have relapsed and did not get the negative comments I got. If I deserve it fine, but want to know why. I don't think that's asking much. All I said is that I have a love/hate relationship with alcohol. What alcoholic can't relate to that.

ScottFromWI

The difference here is that you welcomed/invited your drinking and accepted it as rational, logical event. It's not a question of whether you "deserve" anything or not, it's a simple fact. You are not the first to be in this situation, and you won't be the last.

Croissant

Is it a relapse, or is it actively drinking?

Re read your first post. Again, what magic response were you expecting? The title states you see alcohol is your friend.

Everyone has already stated they understand, clearly..but you aren't happy with that. You aren't happy with AA. You expect your friends to call you.

I'm not here for an argument with someone who is most likely drunk right now. I hope you stop, throw out what you have and sober up.

But if after all these years, you don't want to fight for this, and expect someone else to do the work - my friend, you know it doesn't work like that.

Be well.

Weaver

I've seen people have threads in regards to "relapse" they are in no way similar to yours. You keep trying to shove the" had a good work week, went to the gym...etc" down our throat as a means to justify the drinking? No one here is going to buy it. No one here is gonna be like "well I mean that's pretty good 2much...you may be drinking like a fish but at least you went to the gym" people relapse all the time, no one is judging you for that. However you literally seem to IGNORE every positive post and try to pick apart something ANYTHING that can be construed as negative and run with it.

There is a lot of wisdom in some of the posts in these threads and you can tell just by the depth of some of the responses that a lot of thought went into them.

What are you looking for exactly? Troll away if you must.

Stoogy

Hi, after reading some of the replies and your initial post, I can appreciate what you were getting at by old friend, it can be taken in whatever way people want to take it, but the truth is I would hate for you to push back away from this group as I think you will soon need it more than ever.

People here simply care for you as you have travelled so far with us.

IWillWin

Look in the mirror. Hard. And be honest with yourself. It may be YOUR truth that you simply want to drink. And that's ok. I have people in my life who are hurtling toward a death from alcohol, over-eating and other things - and they CHOOSE it. They make no excuses and don't ask for help. They just do what they do because they want to. Period. And guess what? They are happy with their choices. For now.

The reason you got the responses you did is because you came to a sober website, made a proclamation that you have decided purposefully to drink, and you are ok with that. The mistake was posting it HERE. Drink if you want, but don't expect a bunch of people struggling to stay sober every minute of every day to offer anything but advice on how to help you NOT drink. No one here is going to agree with your choice. That's just the truth. If you want people to agree or support your choice you should investigate other forums.

Should you decide you desire support for sobriety this is the right place and you are welcome as is everyone else here who seek a sober life.

Hevyn

2much - You seem confused as to why we're upset & concerned. It was only 2 weeks ago that you were so thankful to be sober again. I went back and looked - the thread was called 'A Day in Paradise'. I remember it because I was so happy you were beginning to heal from all you'd been through.

You were so relieved that you weren't shaking or sweating, and that you could stand steadily. Most of us remember the terrible struggle you had to get feeling decent again. That's why we've reacted the way we have about this latest setback. We're on this journey with you - you've shared your emotions and we've responded. I'm not sure what else you'd expect from us.

castlefan

I'm sorry you decided to drink, but don't EVER think it's your friend.

courage2

2muchpain, I'm sorry you're not feeling the support here, but there's support in every response on this thread -- support for your recovery.

I appreciate your honesty, but mourn your decision to drink. Because if you're an alcoholic/addict, using will ruin your life. That's pretty much definitional. It's just a matter of time and how many people get hurt.

You'll always have support in SR whenever you decide to make positive choices that help you be well, and sympathy and good suggestions when you don't. That's the way SR works. I think it's wonderful.

songthread

Best wishes 2muchpain - you say some things are better in your life now, and that's good....I hope you can augment this with sobriety for an extra-rich experience.

lovesymphony

2much your post made me want a drink and that rarely happens on this board. Thankfully there were some great responses to knock sense in me again. Thanks again guys