Originally Posted by 2muchpain

Yes, I am back with my best friend who has been waiting for me for a while. I picked up a 12 pack and a pint of vodka, and it feels like I am home, much like being on a vacation and coming home and relaxing. It's comforting being home, knowing what to expect and not depending on anybody else to make this happen. Sure, I know this is temporary, I've been through this before. But for now, I'm very mellow, my mind has slowed down, I am no longer beating up on myself for stupid stuff and kicking back. I know hell is coming if I continue this, but i will deal with that when it happens. SR is great and has helped more than I can say, but some personal support would be nice. It would be nice to be able to have sober friends to drop by to hang around, but that's not possible in my world, and AA doesn't provide this. I don't think I am feeling sorry for myself. I accept my situation the way it is, and it's not all that bad. Much better than most, and I am grateful for that. I believe hard work, being stubborn and focused, along with any support you can get will get me through this.