Mags1

Hi DG, hang in there, keep looking forward, love the thought of playing the drums x

Knat84

I'm really sorry that you're going through a rather difficult time right now. I know where you have been. I really do. I was in a toxic yet loving relationship for four+ years with a guy that was terrible for me. I actually became an alcoholic in that relationship. He didn't think I had a drinking problem. (Probably because he had one, as well.) I knew the relationship was doomed, but, I just could not see my life without him in it. Has your partner accepted your choices of staying sober? Does your partner drink?
All that aside, I know that it's hard for you to see the future right now, but, trust me, there is a better one if you move on from your (what sounds like) toxic relationship and continue the path of sobriety. I moved on from the toxic relationship I was in and it was the best thing I did, in retrospect. Hard as hell, but best thing I ever did.

Please, have the courage and strength to move on. Even if you are uncertain to what the future holds.

xoxo - Nat

bcboy

Hey DG,

I am also sorry you are going through this difficult time.

This is a whopper of a test to your commitment to be who you really were meant to be. If you think long and hard your decisions almost a year ago was the writing on the wall for that change.

Think of this as version upgrade 2.0 of you.

Now is your time to really break free of the past and be you, in the present.

Very few people grab the chance at a fresh start.

Enjoy version 2.0

DG0409

Thanks for all the support.

I helped him pack the first load of stuff and he's taken off now. He'll be back in a day or two to get more stuff.

At the moment, I'm feeling OK, but that kind of comes and goes. I'm sure there is more rough stuff to deal with ahead.

Actually helping him pack wasn't as bad as I feared- at least I was busy doing something. I guess I need to try to stay occupied and not think too much.

neferkamichael

DG0409, rootin for ya.

jkirk

For sure, get out of the house. Go work out, go for walks, go to movies or sporting events with friends. Do.....not.......sit.....alone and analyze over and over!! Good luck!

wackybunny

Hope you're night's going ok. I don't have much to add to all the above advice, just that I hear you, it sucks. I've been through my fair share of heartbreak (current bf is fourth one I've lived with). One guy I was even torn up about for two years. Now I look back and think what a loser that guy was. Hindsight is so clear but that doesn't make it any easier at the time. Sending well wishes.

DG0409

Well, a new day.

I talked to my boyfriend on the phone last night after he got into the place he's moving to. He sounded like he was doing better than I am. He's been very accepting about all of this. I think he was miserable with how things were and thinks this is for the best too. That kind of helps me to feel better about it.

I kind of want to go into panic mode or something with all of this- Don't eat, freak out, lay around depressed, procrastinate on work, & look for distractions (without drinking, cell phone games will do). But I think that is the worst thing I can do. I've done a bit of it the last few days, although I haven't been overboard with it. I know the best thing for me is to try to stick to my routine and be as productive as possible. It's tempting to ditch my recovery behaviors, but I need them more now than ever. From experience, panic mode gets me nowhere and in retrospect I always look back and see how destructive and useless it was.

This morning I feel more optimistic about things and my ability to handle them. I'm trying to have faith that everything will work out ok.

DG0409

Well, I'm feeling a little better about things. I spent yesterday packing some of my boyfriend's things. He's coming back today to pack more stuff.

It helped to just be active yesterday and I'm thinking of the positive things- being able to organize my house how I want it and having the freedom to do the things I want. As I'm packing, I try to rearrange my stuff to take up the empty spots so it won't seem so strange and empty.

I'm braced for more tough times, but for now I'm feeling ok.

happycampers

Right On - really great to hear, DG ! You're doing awesome !

neferkamichael

DG0409, band them drums all day, still rootin for ya.

Mrsbee

Hope you're hanging in there, DG!!! Been thinking about you and hoping everything is alright

happycampers

me too - missing you DG ! Hope all is OK - we're all here for you

DG0409

Thanks Mrsbee and HappyC.

Spent the last few days helping him pack up. He just took off with all his stuff. It's suddenly very quiet around here and I'm not quite sure what to do with myself. But I guess I'll try to stay busy and I'll be OK one way or another. Lots to do rearranging and cleaning the house now.

I plan to buy a few new things for it to kind of re-decorate and spruce things up a bit.

I guess a new chapter starts here.

happycampers

Yes, this IS a new chapter and I think one that holds lots of great promise for you, DG !
It's really good to hear from you and to hear you're going to put your own personal touch on your space. Have you got some favorite music to listen to while you re-organize and re-decorate ?

Hope4Life

Time to set the drum kit up in the living room and ROCK OUT!

You have a FANTASTIC attitude about this change DG.

This is a new beginning to a life where you make all the decisions! Have fun redecorating and rediscovering your home exactly as you envision it.

DG0409

Happy, I've got tons of music. Plus I figure I can watch some tv in the background while I do things to make it feel less lonely and quiet.

Hope- I already have plans to move the drums as I now have more space.

SnoozyQ

Great advice Hope4l ;-))))

DG you rock , you are so loved here . You never have to feel alone ever . I know it's not the same , but you have us - your friends here , every single day .

Much love

DG0409

Thanks Snoozy. This place really is awesome. And in some ways it's better than friends in real life as I can just be honest and not worry about what people think of me or if they're tired of listening me whine about my problems.

Leshar

I second that!

Sending you good wishes as you go through this important transition.