Ted...
OH SH!T
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: RICHMOND,VIRGINIA-
Posts: 1,655
HEY ALL,I WAS AT I SPEAKER MTG LAST NIGHT,THE MAN WHO SHARED HAS BEEN SOBER SINCE 1972,WOW WHAT A MESSAGE.I SAT THERE WITH GOOSEBUMBLES ALL EVENING.VERY DOWN TO EARTH,HAPPY,SERENE,FUNNY,AND GRATEFUL.DEFINATLY SHOWED ME WHAT I CAN GET IF I DO THE WORK.VERY GRATEFUL TODAY,GOING TO WORK NOW,GOD BLESS................ted :rambo:
love ya! Trish 
OH SH!T
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: RICHMOND,VIRGINIA-
Posts: 1,655
HEY JUST THOUGHT I'D POST HERE TO SAY WHAT'S GOING ON.SAW MY SYKE DR. TODAY ALONG WITH MY D/A THERAPIST.THEY WERE VERY HAPPY IN THE WAY THEY SAW ME.BIG IMPROVEMENT.I TOLD THEM ABOUT MY RECOVERY THUS FAR,THEY SEEM TO THINK I'M ON MY WAY.I FEEL REAL GOOD,I'M NO LONGER TRYING TO CONTROL THE WORLD,JUST LITTLE OLD ME.A BIG WEIGHT HAS BEEN LIFTED,HITTING MANY MEETINGS AND KEEPING VERY BUSY.I HAVEN'T BEEN ONLINE MUCH LATLY.I'M STAYING HOME AND RELAXING TONIGHT.SEE YA IN THE FUNNY PAPERS.....ted
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
Originally Posted by ted
JUST LITTLE OLD ME.
You're sounding way serene Ted, and that makes me smile. Thanks Bro
OH SH!T
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: RICHMOND,VIRGINIA-
Posts: 1,655
JUST BACK FROM A MEETING,SUBJECT FEAR.THAT I BELIEVE IS THE ROOT OF MOST OF MY PROBLEMS.FEAR CAN CRIPPLE,KEEP YOU FROM BEING YOUR TRUE SELF.I'M AT THE POINT WHERE I LET IT GO,I KNOW THAT I CAN TURN IT OVER TO H/P.HE'S BEEN THERE ALL ALONG I JUST CHOSE TO IGNORE HIM.TODAY I'M NOT ASHAMED TO SAY I HAVE FEARS AND I CAN'T DO IT ALONE.VERY GRATEFUL TODAY THAT I'M SOBER AND LOOKING WITHIN MYSELF AND DEALING WITH MY DEFECTS.CHANGING FOR THE BETTER. :veryhappy
Paused
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: new york state
Posts: 1
Hi everyone!
I am new here, and I don't know how to create a new thread or do my own thing so I thought I'd post here and hope that someone could help me with my story. I am 17 years old, and I live with two brothers and my parents. My house definitley hasn't been the ideal upbringing. Both my parents drink daily, at least drinking 5, 6, 7 beers a day with more on weekends or other special times. They are both alcoholics, and my dad is often drunk a lot. They both DENY being alocholics. My family isn't really that close that you can talk about anything, and if i tried to get them to go to rehab or something they would probably laugh in my face. They scream constantly. When they are drunk it is HORRIBLE to be at home to see it all. They just don't care. I have tried to tell them how they have made me. I am scared of relationships, I'm not able to tell my friends any of this because I am afraid that they would judge me, and just say they understand, but then they would be scared to come over and stuff. My best friend has no idea how I feel. I am phsycologically and mentally damaged and I often cry myself to sleep. I cannot hold grudges, but many times I wish I could. I can't talk to my aunt or anyone else in the family, because I just can't. I have tried pot and have drank before, but I am scared to drink and I really don't like pot either because of what I have seen it do. My parents don't have a very good relationship, and I am scared to ever get married because I do not want to ever turn out like them. My brother, Chris, is 23 and also is an alcoholic. He has been in trouble many times with the law before, and it scares me. He still lives at home with us, and does not have a very steady job. We were never really that close, but I have been talking to two of his friends lately. I have been asking them what he does and stuff just because I need to know, and I am so afraid he is going to end up dead. He has been very close to death one time before when his heart stopped when he was in the hospital from too much alochol. His one friend has revealed to me that he does every drug he can get his hands on.....including ephedrine, ecstasy, cocaine, LSD, heroin, pills, anything. All his money ever goes to is beer or drugs. It hurt me so much to hear his friend telling me this, he told me many stories about Chris and his drugs. He's on probation, and today when I came home from my friends house my dad was yelling at me, and i was like what is your problem, and he said Chris is in jail, he got a call from one of Chris's friends. This hurts me so much to hear. I try not to worry about it and I try to learn from it, but he is just so miserable and messed up, and I have no idea what to do. His drug addicitions and alcohol addiction have been going on for many years. I'm sick of being depressed, and I really want to do something to help everyone in my house, but I have no idea where to even start. I just want to help my brother before he dies because I don't want to answer the door one day to the police telling my mom that he's died. I also want to help my parents with their alocohol addictions. I told them that they really need to do something, and they should start out by going to rehab for their alcoholism to try and set an example.
Thank you, *Kim*
I am new here, and I don't know how to create a new thread or do my own thing so I thought I'd post here and hope that someone could help me with my story. I am 17 years old, and I live with two brothers and my parents. My house definitley hasn't been the ideal upbringing. Both my parents drink daily, at least drinking 5, 6, 7 beers a day with more on weekends or other special times. They are both alcoholics, and my dad is often drunk a lot. They both DENY being alocholics. My family isn't really that close that you can talk about anything, and if i tried to get them to go to rehab or something they would probably laugh in my face. They scream constantly. When they are drunk it is HORRIBLE to be at home to see it all. They just don't care. I have tried to tell them how they have made me. I am scared of relationships, I'm not able to tell my friends any of this because I am afraid that they would judge me, and just say they understand, but then they would be scared to come over and stuff. My best friend has no idea how I feel. I am phsycologically and mentally damaged and I often cry myself to sleep. I cannot hold grudges, but many times I wish I could. I can't talk to my aunt or anyone else in the family, because I just can't. I have tried pot and have drank before, but I am scared to drink and I really don't like pot either because of what I have seen it do. My parents don't have a very good relationship, and I am scared to ever get married because I do not want to ever turn out like them. My brother, Chris, is 23 and also is an alcoholic. He has been in trouble many times with the law before, and it scares me. He still lives at home with us, and does not have a very steady job. We were never really that close, but I have been talking to two of his friends lately. I have been asking them what he does and stuff just because I need to know, and I am so afraid he is going to end up dead. He has been very close to death one time before when his heart stopped when he was in the hospital from too much alochol. His one friend has revealed to me that he does every drug he can get his hands on.....including ephedrine, ecstasy, cocaine, LSD, heroin, pills, anything. All his money ever goes to is beer or drugs. It hurt me so much to hear his friend telling me this, he told me many stories about Chris and his drugs. He's on probation, and today when I came home from my friends house my dad was yelling at me, and i was like what is your problem, and he said Chris is in jail, he got a call from one of Chris's friends. This hurts me so much to hear. I try not to worry about it and I try to learn from it, but he is just so miserable and messed up, and I have no idea what to do. His drug addicitions and alcohol addiction have been going on for many years. I'm sick of being depressed, and I really want to do something to help everyone in my house, but I have no idea where to even start. I just want to help my brother before he dies because I don't want to answer the door one day to the police telling my mom that he's died. I also want to help my parents with their alocohol addictions. I told them that they really need to do something, and they should start out by going to rehab for their alcoholism to try and set an example.
Thank you, *Kim*
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Hayward, CA 94541
Posts: 1
You have a heavy load
Kim,
I'm a 52-year old grown woman who has a busy career, and my mother is 79 and drinking each and every day. I don't know if this helps you, but I've found (mind you I'm not perfect with this, and struggle with it each day) but know I can't be codependent to my mom, and struggle to take care of her (as she's old now and does need some help, even if she doesn't accept it) and still care for myself. I won't abandon her, but I am trying to develop ways to care for myself, as watching her drink herself to death can and often does cause me to internally berate myself for putting up with it.
I'm old enough to be your mom; can you get some space between you and your family? In the book "codependent no more" it talks about detaching with love. I'm sure you love your family, but please do yourself a favor and don't drown with them. They have to take reponsibility for their choices, or suffer the consequences of not making better decisions. I know, easier said than done, and if I struggle to deal with it at my age, I can't imagine what you feel. I don't have all the answers, but here's a few ideas:
If you have a part-time job, rent a room from someone (make sure you feel safe before you commit to a another place to live).
Do you have a counselor you can talk to?
It's not much, but
Visiting this site, going to Al Anon, any help at all is helpful. That's the talk I gave myself tonight, to "not keep dealing with this on my own," as dealing with it without support makes me feel sad, and angry inside, and I know that's not healthy.
I hope things get better for you soon!
I'm a 52-year old grown woman who has a busy career, and my mother is 79 and drinking each and every day. I don't know if this helps you, but I've found (mind you I'm not perfect with this, and struggle with it each day) but know I can't be codependent to my mom, and struggle to take care of her (as she's old now and does need some help, even if she doesn't accept it) and still care for myself. I won't abandon her, but I am trying to develop ways to care for myself, as watching her drink herself to death can and often does cause me to internally berate myself for putting up with it.
I'm old enough to be your mom; can you get some space between you and your family? In the book "codependent no more" it talks about detaching with love. I'm sure you love your family, but please do yourself a favor and don't drown with them. They have to take reponsibility for their choices, or suffer the consequences of not making better decisions. I know, easier said than done, and if I struggle to deal with it at my age, I can't imagine what you feel. I don't have all the answers, but here's a few ideas:
If you have a part-time job, rent a room from someone (make sure you feel safe before you commit to a another place to live).
Do you have a counselor you can talk to?
It's not much, but
Visiting this site, going to Al Anon, any help at all is helpful. That's the talk I gave myself tonight, to "not keep dealing with this on my own," as dealing with it without support makes me feel sad, and angry inside, and I know that's not healthy.
I hope things get better for you soon!
OH SH!T
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: RICHMOND,VIRGINIA-
Posts: 1,655
HEY KIM AND LKAY,WELCOME TO SR.I GREW UP ALOT LIKE YOU KIM,IT WAS VERY HARD,I'VE BEEN RUNNING AWAY FROM EVERYTHING SINCE I WAS 13 YEARS OLD.I'M 43 NOW,IT'S TIME TO STOP AND FACE THE MUSIC.
I SUGGEST YOU LOOK AT THE ALANON FORUM AND CO DEPENDENTS FORUM.
VERY NICE,SUPPORTIVE PEOPLE WITH ANSWERS FOR PROBLEMS.THE MAIN THING IS YOU TAKE CARE OF YOU,WE CAN'T CHANGE ANYTHING BUT OURSELVES.
NO MATTER HOW MUCH WE WANT THEM TO BE WELL,IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN TILL THEY MAKE THAT CHOICE.
I'M GLAD YOUR HERE,KEEP POSTING,YOU CAN GET ALOT OF SUPPORT HERE.
IF THERE IS ANYTHING I CAN DO TO HELP LET ME KNOW..................GODSPEED......ted
I SUGGEST YOU LOOK AT THE ALANON FORUM AND CO DEPENDENTS FORUM.
VERY NICE,SUPPORTIVE PEOPLE WITH ANSWERS FOR PROBLEMS.THE MAIN THING IS YOU TAKE CARE OF YOU,WE CAN'T CHANGE ANYTHING BUT OURSELVES.
NO MATTER HOW MUCH WE WANT THEM TO BE WELL,IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN TILL THEY MAKE THAT CHOICE.
I'M GLAD YOUR HERE,KEEP POSTING,YOU CAN GET ALOT OF SUPPORT HERE.
IF THERE IS ANYTHING I CAN DO TO HELP LET ME KNOW..................GODSPEED......ted
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: east coast
Posts: 2,440
Hi Kim and Lkay,
welcome to SR. I have to agree with what Ted said about the al-anon/codependant boards. There are alot of people here who are willing to help. I know it's hard when a family member is doing drugs/alcohol and you can see them slowly killing themself. You might also want to check out the Nar-anon boards. I'll say a prayer for you.
And of course the whole reason I checked in here was to say hi to Ted. It is so great to see you posting all over again. Have a wonderful sober day. sherry
welcome to SR. I have to agree with what Ted said about the al-anon/codependant boards. There are alot of people here who are willing to help. I know it's hard when a family member is doing drugs/alcohol and you can see them slowly killing themself. You might also want to check out the Nar-anon boards. I'll say a prayer for you.
And of course the whole reason I checked in here was to say hi to Ted. It is so great to see you posting all over again. Have a wonderful sober day. sherry
...........ted
OH SH!T
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: RICHMOND,VIRGINIA-
Posts: 1,655
TO MY BEAUTIFUL GIRL,OUR LOVE HAS NO BOUNDRIES
IN THE THREE YEARS WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER YOU HAVE SHOWN ME SO MUCH ABOUT LIFE AND LOVE.
YOU ARE THE KINDEST SOUL I'VE EVER KNOWN.
I'M VERY FORTUNATE TO HAVE YOU AS MY PARTNER IN LIFE.
GOD HAS TRULY BLESSED ME WHEN HE BROUGHT US TOGETHER.
I LOVE YOU MY PRETTY GIRL.
THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME SEE WHAT IS REALLY IMPORTANT IN LIFE.
XXXOOO,ted
IN THE THREE YEARS WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER YOU HAVE SHOWN ME SO MUCH ABOUT LIFE AND LOVE.
YOU ARE THE KINDEST SOUL I'VE EVER KNOWN.
I'M VERY FORTUNATE TO HAVE YOU AS MY PARTNER IN LIFE.
GOD HAS TRULY BLESSED ME WHEN HE BROUGHT US TOGETHER.
I LOVE YOU MY PRETTY GIRL.
THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME SEE WHAT IS REALLY IMPORTANT IN LIFE.
XXXOOO,ted
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