Good mothers don't drink irresponsibly!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Good mothers don't drink irresponsibly!
This is my first time here and i am so relieved after reading your posts ,that i am NOT alone . So many things i have wanted to talk about but refrain due to my shame and trying to work through my dirty little secret ,which is not a secret anymore because i could only hide it for so long. I am a 51 year old Mother of 4 , i have been an alcoholic for at least 15 years.I have been to rehab twice .it worked the first time,i didn't drink for over a year.the 2nd time it was only months. I was 6 months sober until a'friend' bought me 6 bottles of mixed wines for looking after her dog.That was it !! After really thinking i had finally beaten it with such strong convictions...it took one glass and i was hooked..Why do i keep fooling myself and think this time i will just have 1 glass and i CAN control it this time! Needless to say 6 weeks later of binging and bed and not seeing my kids, isolating myself due to my 1 day of drinking and next day in bed ritual, recovering and trying to get over my hangover i am guilt ridden AGAIN. I am 2 weeks sober and terrified as i can think rationally now..which dosnt help. My husband loves me ...i feel like i am dying.What a waste of my life :-( Help
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Boston
Posts: 61
I'm so sorry for how you feel. Know that "good mothers don't drink irresponsibly" is just not true. There are so many of us, self included, that are mothers and suffer from alcoholism. What will make you an irresponsible mother is not accepting it and dealing with it this time. You have a chance. Have you sought help, gone to meetings, therapy? You can do it and you are SO WORTH IT!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 8,336
Welcome SnoozyQ,
I'm a 55 year old mother of two and former wine lover
I remember the feeling of helplessness and shame. The good news is I stopped and you can too. Please make yourself at home, read and post....we understand.
I'm a 55 year old mother of two and former wine lover
I remember the feeling of helplessness and shame. The good news is I stopped and you can too. Please make yourself at home, read and post....we understand.
Glad you are here. You will find alot of support here.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,574
Snoozy Welcome to a great place.
That happened to me, too - and wine was the culprit. I had been sober for 3 years, and decided I could have one innocent little glass of wine. Of course the glass became the whole bottle, then another bottle. Off I went for years, this time doing worse damage than ever. It was twice as hard to stop at that point. That's when I found SR. Knowing I wasn't alone made a huge difference for me. I learned to let go of the guilt and remorse and reach for a brighter day. I have 5 & 1/2 yrs. sober now. You can do it Snoozy!
Welcome to a great place.That happened to me, too - and wine was the culprit.
I had been sober for 3 years, and decided I could have one innocent little glass of wine. Of course the glass became the whole bottle, then another bottle. Off I went for years, this time doing worse damage than ever. It was twice as hard to stop at that point. That's when I found SR. Knowing I wasn't alone made a huge difference for me. I learned to let go of the guilt and remorse and reach for a brighter day. I have 5 & 1/2 yrs. sober now. You can do it Snoozy! 
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Yes i do have a plan Hevyn . I went to the docs last night and told him i need help as i just cant do it myself.i am sick of going to bed wondering what my liver looks like . Do i have cirrhosis? Do i want to know ? Should i just keep drinking and numb myself as every time i get sober i live with the guilt.Knowing the time i have lost that could have been spent with my kids and granddaughter. He has given me an appointment for a liver ultrasound. I'm sick to my stomach with fear! I will go tomorrow.Or do i really want to be told? i'm frightened .
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,642
SnoozyQ......I'm a mother of 4, in my 50s, former wino, who was terrified of going to the doctor to find out what I didn't really want to know. I know how scared you are. It's overwhelming. But it really is the best decision. You might be surprised to find out ( like I did) that things are not as bad as you imagine them to be. I got sober, my body healed, my family forgave me, and I got my life back. You can, too.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: fort wayne, IN.
Posts: 1,085
I am 52. I raised two children with periods of sobriety and periods of daily drunkeness. I am amazed that they grew up to be so loving. I got sober here. I stopped drinking the day I found this place. The support here is priceless.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Thanks LDT & Escapist , that brings me a lot of comfort , we are about the same age. If you can do it - hopefully i can too.You have given me some hope. I feel a bit better .I suddenly don't feel so alone and actually understood. i work in a hospital and we have 4 new patients on the ward..all alcoholics.I am shocked by the comments of my friends ( nurses) "waste of space ' or they fried their brains serves them right , "they did it too themselves. I tried to soften it by saying " its sad ,they have an addiction"(without giving myself away ) but there was certainly no empathy.It made me wonder if they would feel this way about me, the friend they have known and loved for years? Its been 2 weeks since that conversation and my last drink.I'm kind to these patients as i see my future in them . Scary stuff !
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 20
I can relate as well - I'm a Mom of 2, and both are aware of my recovery and remember the drinking times. They are you still (10 & 11). There are times that even after a year and some 24 hours, I still think about drinking. But I think through the drink and try and work a solid program. Have you tried AA? It has helped me - I know I wouldn't be here sober without it!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
This room has been a life saver for me today, i cant thank you enough for your positive comments. It's my day off and Monday is ALWAYS my drinking day after working all weekend. This chat with you lovely people has kept me distracted and for the first time in a long time i will be able to watch my daughter play netball. Its freezing , rainy and windy outside and i'm going to do it.
Sober Today
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 779
Mom here, too. I think I'm a good mother but I have a problem with alcohol.
One of the reasons I'm trying so hard to quit is because I don't want to harm my kids or for them to ever feel like I chose alcohol over them. It's really, REALLY hard, but they are my world. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't ever bother trying.
We can do this!
One of the reasons I'm trying so hard to quit is because I don't want to harm my kids or for them to ever feel like I chose alcohol over them. It's really, REALLY hard, but they are my world. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't ever bother trying.
We can do this!
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