Pondlady

Good Morning Snoozy....at least it's morning here Gather up your courage, lean on us, and go to the ultrasound appointment. We understand your fear....it's natural and we've all experienced it. Let us know how you're doing.....hugs.

huntingtontx

I can really relate. I have two weeks also after years of drinking. This place is awesome. I have support I never expected. I know you can do this. If I can anyone can. It feels so good to be sober after years of living in a fog. I am a mother and a grandmother too. I am so glad you joined us.

FeelingGreat

Hi Snoozy. Treat alcohol as if it was radioactive. Even with well over a year sober, when my niece left some cider in my fridge I knew I had to get it out of the house right away. I wasn't even capable of pouring it down the sink. It was that close.
I won't let a waiter put a wine glass in front of me. I won't go to drinking based social occasions. I have to be really really careful of triggers.
You can do it. Every relapse is a lesson in how to deal with that situation the next time.

SnoozyQ

thanks for your support . I am still sober and having my ultrasound today at 4 ....im really nervous....

Hevyn

Still sober - that's fabulous Snoozy. It'll feel so good to get the ultrasound over with. We'll be thinking of you.

ananias

I was surprised, when I first joined, at the number of Moms on here. We can do this. I don't want to watch their childhood through a fog anymore!

SnoozyQ

Thanks Hevyn :-) its people like you who helped me take that step the other day. I am so scared that i may have done some irreversible damage. However , this little voice in my alcoholic mindset set is already wondering how i will feel if it isn't as bad as i imagine ;-(

Trooper13

My story is a little different. I have been a single mom since the day my daughter was born, her dad walked out when I got pregnant and she has never met him. I guess she was enough to keep me sober. I could count on one hand how many drinks I had when she lived at home. A margarita on vacation here or there, a cold beer by the pool maybe. We are exceptionally close, maybe too close, as I really had no support system or family after my parents died. She was also one of those kids who did everything, piano, voice, travelling softball etc. It seemed every night there was something to do, some activity. She chose a college 400 miles away and I cried for the first 200 miles on my way home from dropping her off. It was then the demons hit. Started with beer every night then after a few years it was rum. We still talked each day but if the conversation took place at night I never remembered what she said. I knew she knew I was drunk. After she graduated and moved home I continued to drink after work each night, eventually lost my job. She got a job and bought a townhouse at 23 and moved 45 minutes away and I got really bad. I fell at least three times, lucky I did not break something. Woke up on my bedroom floor once, always had bruises. I had two brief sober periods in the last year but the enough is enough moment for me was when we were supposed to go to a friend of hers baby shower together. She walked in the door and said "what happened to your face?" I had a cut on my nose and it was all bruised, a fall into the dog crate. She said no way are you going to the baby shower, looked at me with disgust, grabbed the gift and left. No phone call that night. I quit the next day, went through a very frightening detox alone and am now 4 days sober. I don't feel great but am getting there. Went to my first AA meeting today and will go again tomorrow. My daughter is being very supportive. I guess the moral is, no matter the age we never want to disappoint or embarrass our child. We can all do this, hell, if we made it through child birth this should be easy although I would take the 36 hours of labor over this last detox!

SnoozyQ

I hear what you are saying trooper13.I have turned up drunk at my children's sports events and cheered overzealously from the sidelines ( shudders) .Im not usually a loud person. The one thing in the world we don't want to do and thats humiliate our children through our behaviour. You must have an extraordinary bond with your daughter and like me ( and the rest of us ) want to get well for your children. Good luck , this group makes me feel safe somehow xx

Trooper13

Yes snoozy we are very close. She said something to me tonight that put a dagger right through my heart. I deserved it but ouch. There was no malice intended and we were not arguing.

My parents were both alcoholics, great people, and I always knew I was loved but there are some memories I would like to forget. Always promised I would never be that way...I failed.

SnoozyQ

Hi ippochick, does she bring things up from your past history , then you feel humiliated or so bad that you just want to have a drink to forget it and numb yourself ? I hate the reminders ...they make me feel like such a bad mother , it truly makes me cringe .

ckoures

You are like the little voice inside my head, the recorder that plays back my last four years.

You are not an irresponsible or bad mother.

You are able to start fresh.

You can regain your own self respect.

You already have mine.

Best

SnoozyQ

Thanks so much ck , that was a lovely thing to say :-) xx

Black Bird

Mom of 5 here. I hope you are doing well. The only way we will stay irresponsible mothers, is if we stay drunk. We can do this. For us and for our kids. We all make mistakes. We just need to show the effort thatvwe are choosing to fix them. I love the support here. Very well wishes to you!

SnoozyQ

Thanks so much black bird. You are right and its so good having other positive Mums out there who understand. Xxxx

SnoozyQ

I am almost 5 weeks sober , life is good .... So far , I'm doing one day at a time .I cant believe the difference in my kids . They actually like me now :-) i really hope i cant keep this up xx

Lightning Bug

FANTASTIC!!!!

Louise82

Congrats Snoozy Q, that's huge! One day at a time is helping me a lot too. I'm on day 33 so just a little way behind you.

SnoozyQ

Thanks Laura Thanks Louise and wow 33 days we are virtually twins . Ill follow your progress , hopefully we can keep each other strong xx

Louise82

Aw, thanks, I'll follow your progress too! Yeah, let's keep one another strong. xx