EternalQ

Eventually they come less and less. Its like the opposite of giving birth. Instead of the waves increasing in frequency and severity giving birth to life.... the craving waves decrease in frequency and severity slowly over time because you are letting your addiction die .
We all know it is beyond awful and difficult. But we know it is possible. People quit benzos everyday and you are too. You must let time pass without feeding the addiction. Distract yourself any healfhy way you can until they lessen. Make a lst of 50 ways to distract.. it is like grief in that the passing of time is what will help most of all. If you pick at your wound then time will not heal it. You can do it ML..

Pondlady

Maybe counting days isn't the way to go for you MLC.....just take things minute by minute. You are doing fine.....it's hard. I think we're all rooting for you here

ImperfectlyMe

Have you tried the root KUDZU you can get it a vitamin shop. It has been working for me or maybe it's psychological. Here is some info:

Kudzu Root Reduces Alcohol Consumption

Threshold

You are doing it and withdrawal doesn't last forever.

If it helps, imagine it's chemo. It sucks, but it will lead to health and freedom down the line. It's temporary.

EternalQ

Also ML I cannot recommned enough that you try to read and post on all the grat threads night and day.

When it gets hard I get to self absorption and self pity. Living alone kind of reinforces that so I go on there whenever I can. Reading all the trials people go through is humbling and then to see they are still grateful they woke up to a sunny day ......well, it does a lot to realign ones thinking. It really does help you refocus. There are lots of different grat threads.

At first some mornings I couldn't even think one grateful thought. I'd blank out and just think of my cravings until I went there and refocused. Now I think of things as they happen and think grateful thoughts. It has made a huge difference in my sobriety.

I recommend it to everyone!

SnwFlower

You are doing such a great job MLC. Remember that this tough part will pass, and each day brings you closer to feeling so much better. Very glad you are keeping us updated.

EverySngleNight

MLC- i tried pm-ing you but it wouldnt go through. So, I'll post here.

So you're kicking benzos huh? I've done it too. Newly sober with alcohol but, been off benzos for almost 10 years. It was the worst withdrawal I can imagine, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy! In a way (and I hope this is comforting- albeit in an odd way), I'm half grateful now for the severity of the withdrawal. I've had docs try to prescribe me the stuff since, for my anxiety.. At first I thought "hmmm... Maybe this time it will help." Followed by the memory of what you're going through now. That memory has saved me over and OVER. It's a ROUGH ride and not many people "get it". But I do. Sincerely, I'm pulling for you from the bottom of my heart. I would hug you, but an "x" will have to do. Hang in there. You CAN do this!

MemphisBlues

Mid, if you are like me and a couple weeks out my symptoms seemed to get progressively worse. Are yours?

My body literally started vibrating, my jaw ached from teeth grinding, I couldn't walk, the room bounced around, I started having auditory hallucinations. That was about two weeks after I went cold turkey.

Have you had your husband get on the phone and seriously investigate finding a doctor well versed in benzo withdrawal?

And I really think you shouldn't be alone at this time. Yes, your husband has to work, but I suspect you are at a critical time and really need to be supervised.

During the acute phase of my experience, I was far worse than you are describe. I don't want to scare you, but I deteriorated daily after two weeks until I ended up in the hospital. Like, ICU hospital.

If you are still trying to take care of the kids at this stage, I fear it might not be a good idea for you or for them.

I pray you can get some intense follow up care, or at least have your husband be with you at this time.

LookingOut

Praying!

digdug

Hang in there! Benzo withdrawal is usually long and awful but it can be done. I was in the ICU for alcohol withdrawal and they pumped me full of benzos to stabilize me. Unfortunately, I ended up getting strung out on benzos in the hospital and had to detox from them after I was done detoxing from alcohol.

Even though I did a slow taper on Serax, I can still remember the room constantly shaking to the point where I could barely stand up, my skin being on fire and my short term memory going to hell. I couldn't feel my feet when I walked. When I tried to listen to someone talk and I couldn't even understand what they were saying.

But on day 12 (the last day of my taper), things started to turn around. By day 20, I just began to feel alright. And by day 30, I was almost back to normal.

Just keep it up. I promise you it will pass. You will feel normal again. But if you go back, you'll have to start this painful process all over again.

least

this


http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...you-drugs.html

Midlifecrisis

Thank you everyone. I'm no worse today so that's a positive.

It's not psychological, from what I can see these are fairly normal benzo withdrawal symptoms which does give me hope. You ended up in icu Memphis? Awful, awful pharmaceuticals, ugh .

I will go back and read my thread

SNST

MLC Ive been following your thread today, knowing theres nothing I can say to make it better, but I also went through this about 10 years ago, it was horrible! My heart aches for you right now, even though it been 10 years for me I can still remember the hell I went through. Im not real sure how long it was before I felt like myself old self again but I do remember going back to work after about 1 week, it wasnt easy but somehow I managed, the thing that I found to help me was sleepy time tea, of course it didnt cure me but I think it eased some of the w/ds, I think it was somewhere around 5 or 6 days before I got any sleep at all so I was pretty much a walking zombie, but Im here today to let you know, even though you cant see the light at the end of the tunnel right now, it WILL get better! Please stay strong & beat this! Im 16 days clean from Opiates this time and the w/ds have sucked, but I know from experience that Benzo w/ds are horrific! I will be praying for you. You have a ton of support so just keep moving forward. I promise it will get better

Midlifecrisis

Thank you. It's is good to know that others have lived through it. It also helps to feel validated. None of the medical staff I have had dealings with will acknowledge benzo withdrawal so it's good to speak to real, live people who have been through it.

I am finding lemon balm tea is good. I might get some sleepy time too.

I can't wait to feel ok!

SNST

It really angers me thats doctors will put people on this crap of a drug without acknowledging the horrible w/ds. Until someone goes through it they have no idea just how bad it is, no w/d is good, I thought I was gonna die 2 weeks ago when I put down the Opiates, but those Benzo's, wow, its so hard. Im scared to death of those things now! I have read a few different things that are suppose to help ( natural herbs & supplements of course ) Maybe if you talk to a Pharmacist they can suggest a few other things to make you a little more comfortable? I do hope you start feeling better soon, hopefully tomorrow you will get up an see some improvement

Midlifecrisis

Thanks. Yeah Benzos are the worst thing I have detoxed from too. Awful stuff. I detoxed from mild opiates and alcohol at the same time but you can really pick out the benzo symptoms distinctly.

Well done on getting off the opiates.

Grungehead

MLC I'm so proud of you for hanging in there!

After reading what you've been going through I googled benzo withdrawals and I am now surprised at how fast they tapered you. You are putting up one hell of a fight! Keep up the good work, but if the w/d's get too bad please go see a doctor.

Midlifecrisis

Thanks grungehead. Yeah I don't think most people realise how nasty they are to get off. I didn't anything when I stopped cold turkey last year and subsequently relapsed. It's not nice and yeah, it was a very fast taper.

instant

MLC it really impresses me what you have achieved. I am no expert but I think things will get better as your body comes back to normal. Go girl!!

digdug

They tried to do a fast taper when I was in rehab but I ended up in the nurses' station not knowing where I was. Thank god they were able to reach the doctor and do a slower taper. I was so scared of seizing out.

I'm so glad you're doing ok and hanging in there! People don't realize that there are really only two drugs that can kill you through withdrawals alone: alcohol and benzos.

Keep pushing. You'll reach that break through point soon.