Blogs


Notices

Feck you drugs

Old 05-17-2013, 06:27 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Guest
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,065
Feck you drugs

Benzos, opiates, alcohol, amphetamines, hallucinogens, up yours! You have been in my life or taken over my thinking too long. I had myself convinced that I needed you. I don't. I need my life back and my family need me.

I love the way you make my bed feel like a cloud and the way you make sleep effortless. I love the way you take away all my thoughts and cares. I love the way you help me to be more outgoing.

But I hate what I've let you take from me. My mind, my body, quality time with my family. Time! I hate that you take away my cares so much that falling asleep with you I couldn't care less if I were never to wake up.

This is probably the hardest I have had to fight and I know there is only one thjng that would give me instant relief. But I'm not going there, I'm not doing all this again. I could lose everything.

I'm scared to feel but I know I need to. Life on life's terms.

Feck you drugs.

While we are at it. Feck you bulimia.

You can't have me.
Midlifecrisis is offline  
The Following 29 Users Say Thank You to Midlifecrisis For This Useful Post:
aussieblue (05-17-2013), Bruce292 (05-17-2013), CharlieNoogan (05-18-2013), Dee74 (05-17-2013), Delilah1 (05-18-2013), DNR72 (05-18-2013), EverySngleNight (05-17-2013), FeenixxRising (05-17-2013), Goat (05-19-2013), heath480 (05-18-2013), Hevyn (05-17-2013), hope22 (05-17-2013), Impurrfect (05-18-2013), joygirl (05-18-2013), least (05-17-2013), Leshar (05-17-2013), Louise82 (05-17-2013), peanut44 (05-17-2013), Pondlady (05-18-2013), Ptcapote (05-17-2013), Quinne (05-17-2013), quitforme79 (05-17-2013), ScottFromWI (05-17-2013), SNST (05-17-2013), SnwFlower (05-17-2013), Spinach (05-18-2013), suzi_Q (05-17-2013), TM75 (05-18-2013), trikyriky (05-18-2013)
Old 05-17-2013, 06:45 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Leshar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,001
Great and thought provoking post, thanks. Are you Irish?
Leshar is offline  
Old 05-17-2013, 06:46 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Guest
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,065
Lol no. I had an Irish maiden name though . And swearing isn't allowed lol.
Midlifecrisis is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Midlifecrisis For This Useful Post:
Sasha4 (05-18-2013)
Old 05-17-2013, 06:50 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
EverySngleNight's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic
Posts: 553
I agree!! Flock all of it!!!
EverySngleNight is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to EverySngleNight For This Useful Post:
Midlifecrisis (05-17-2013)
Old 05-17-2013, 06:52 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Leshar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,001
Haha! I went to uni in Dublin, kinda miss the Irish slang.
Take care.
Leshar is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Leshar For This Useful Post:
Midlifecrisis (05-17-2013)
Old 05-17-2013, 06:55 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
DirtyRiverMan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 76
I agree..........feck em' all!
DirtyRiverMan is offline  
Old 05-17-2013, 07:09 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Guest
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,065
Midlifecrisis is offline  
Old 05-17-2013, 07:15 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Jules
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: ohio
Posts: 280
Blog Entries: 12
You can do it midlife!!! Believe in a whole new you, a whole new life and take it a day at a time!!
drunkyjules is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to drunkyjules For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (05-18-2013), tomsteve (05-17-2013)
Old 05-17-2013, 07:16 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Guest
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,065
Thank you Jules
Midlifecrisis is offline  
Old 05-17-2013, 07:53 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Learning to live again
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 41,672
It's wonderful to hear you sounding so determined and positive. You never have to return to that awful place - you're doing this.
Hevyn is online now  
The Following User Says Thank You to Hevyn For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (05-18-2013)
Old 05-17-2013, 07:55 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Guest
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,065
Thanks. Yeah that came from somewhere inside. I am lying here like a vegetable and not really feeling any emotions yet. They just be in there though.
Midlifecrisis is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Midlifecrisis For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (05-18-2013), Hevyn (05-17-2013)
Old 05-17-2013, 08:09 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Grateful
 
Grungehead's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,760
Blog Entries: 1
They are in there MLC, it just takes awhile for the "novocaine" to wear off.

My suggestion (from experience) is to be prepared for them once they do come back. While it's great to feel them again it can also be a bit overwhelming at first since it has become "normal" for us to be numb to them.
Grungehead is offline  
Old 05-17-2013, 08:12 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Guest
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,065
Originally Posted by Grungehead View Post
They are in there MLC, it just takes awhile for the "novocaine" to wear off.

My suggestion (from experience) is to be prepared for them once they do come back. While it's great to feel them again it can also be a bit overwhelming at first since it has become "normal" for us to be numb to them.
Thanks. Yeah, I am still very much in withdrawal from the Benzos so all my thinking is really gojng into my physical state a (literally) putting one foot in front of the other.

I am quite nervous about the feelings coming back. I was sober for 6 weeks or so from New Years and I was depressed and suicidal during this time. I am on anti depressants now so I am hoping they help me keep my head above for just a little while. I am just waiting for my ed to rear it's ugly head also.
Midlifecrisis is offline  
Old 05-17-2013, 08:30 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Grateful
 
Grungehead's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,760
Blog Entries: 1
Originally Posted by Midlifecrisis View Post
Thanks. Yeah, I am still very much in withdrawal from the Benzos so all my thinking is really gojng into my physical state a (literally) putting one foot in front of the other.

I am quite nervous about the feelings coming back. I was sober for 6 weeks or so from New Years and I was depressed and suicidal during this time. I am on anti depressants now so I am hoping they help me keep my head above for just a little while. I am just waiting for my ed to rear it's ugly head also.
Yeah it usually takes me about 3 months just to feel there is hope and about 6 months to actually feel good about myself and life in general. It does happen eventually though. Right now just putting one foot in front of the other and not using is a major accomplishment so keep it up!
Grungehead is offline  
Old 05-17-2013, 08:32 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Guest
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,065
Thanks. Can't wait to feel some semblance of normality, whatever that is!
Midlifecrisis is offline  
Old 05-18-2013, 02:07 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
animalnurse9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: auckland
Posts: 315
Hehe I'm Irish �� feck it all ��
animalnurse9 is offline  
Old 05-18-2013, 03:36 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Guest
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,065
Hehe
Midlifecrisis is offline  
Old 05-18-2013, 03:40 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 108
Originally Posted by Midlifecrisis View Post
Lol no. I had an Irish maiden name though . And swearing isn't allowed lol.
My favorite creative "un-swear" is, "BUCK FOOZE!!"
Troae is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Troae For This Useful Post:
EverySngleNight (05-18-2013), joygirl (05-18-2013)
Old 05-18-2013, 03:52 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Guest
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,065
Haha unswear
Midlifecrisis is offline  
Old 05-18-2013, 01:57 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Learning to live again
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 41,672
Hoping today is better for you MLC. (At least some semblance of normalcy, as you said.)
Hevyn is online now  
The Following User Says Thank You to Hevyn For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (05-18-2013)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:58 PM.