I cant do this
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
Make sure u r being honest with yourself. Tell hubby how u feel now. Don't set yourself up for failure. your disease is telling you I can't wait till hubby goes back to work so I can......
Don't do it Mid! Make yourself accountable to someone in here. Make a promise that you are gonna come in here before you make a bad decision tomorrow. Be accountable. You can do this. Time to put on them big girl panties, you can do this .
Don't do it Mid! Make yourself accountable to someone in here. Make a promise that you are gonna come in here before you make a bad decision tomorrow. Be accountable. You can do this. Time to put on them big girl panties, you can do this .
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,065
Originally Posted by instant 
MLC it really impresses me what you have achieved. I am no expert but I think things will get better as your body comes back to normal. Go girl!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,065
Originally Posted by digdug
They tried to do a fast taper when I was in rehab but I ended up in the nurses' station not knowing where I was. Thank god they were able to reach the doctor and do a slower taper. I was so scared of seizing out.
I'm so glad you're doing ok and hanging in there! People don't realize that there are really only two drugs that can kill you through withdrawals alone: alcohol and benzos.
Keep pushing. You'll reach that break through point soon.
I'm so glad you're doing ok and hanging in there! People don't realize that there are really only two drugs that can kill you through withdrawals alone: alcohol and benzos.
Keep pushing. You'll reach that break through point soon.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,065
Originally Posted by deeker
Make sure u r being honest with yourself. Tell hubby how u feel now. Don't set yourself up for failure. your disease is telling you I can't wait till hubby goes back to work so I can......
Don't do it Mid! Make yourself accountable to someone in here. Make a promise that you are gonna come in here before you make a bad decision tomorrow. Be accountable. You can do this. Time to put on them big girl panties, you can do this .
Don't do it Mid! Make yourself accountable to someone in here. Make a promise that you are gonna come in here before you make a bad decision tomorrow. Be accountable. You can do this. Time to put on them big girl panties, you can do this .
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,065
Originally Posted by Tamerua
We are all rooting for you! I've been reading your posts for a while, I am so happy to see you getting up that hill. You're doing great!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
Originally Posted by Midlifecrisis
He knows I'm not well. I have barely been out of bed since I got home 6 days ago. He just seemed really stressed so I really made the biggest effort to get up and do stuff like make the school lunches. I just don't want him to have to worry, I want to get better and be better. I'm not going to go back to it as much as I feel like I can't do this.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,065
Originally Posted by tomsteve
wheres God in all this,mid? keepin close to Him?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: ca
Posts: 214
Originally Posted by Midlifecrisis
Thanks. Am getting there, very slowly.
Just letting you know you have support out there....keep posting, you will get through this.
capra laeviculus
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: German Village, OH
Posts: 3,427
MLC -- I've been following your saga but never posted since I've never taken a single benzo and so I felt I had little to add.
But I just have to say... reading your posts now vs a few weeks ago the difference is HUGE. You may not feel very clear-headed at the moment, but the clarity of your thoughts as expressed through your posts is night and day better as compared to a few weeks ago.
I am very impressed with everything you have done, and I am thankful that you are here.
But I just have to say... reading your posts now vs a few weeks ago the difference is HUGE. You may not feel very clear-headed at the moment, but the clarity of your thoughts as expressed through your posts is night and day better as compared to a few weeks ago.
I am very impressed with everything you have done, and I am thankful that you are here.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 169
I have to agree with Goat, I've lurked quite alot, and followed your posts a bit. Your clarity of thought and your conviction is SO CLEAR in your recent posts. I can tell such a distinct difference in the way that you communicate since your return from detox.
I'm really proud of ya
I wish you the best of luck in all this, lady.
I'm really proud of ya
I wish you the best of luck in all this, lady.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 192
I also notice such a big difference in you in such a short time. You can do this. You ARE doing this. Reach out and accept as much help as is available. And know that you have an army of Internet friends pushing you slowly forward through this difficult time.
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
MLC, I'm cheering for you! I have 3 children and I know how you feel about the guilt, etc. But set the guilt aside for now anyway. It will not help. I am recovering from opiates. Last year my doctor gave me benzo to taper from opiates. They made me a zombie and I remember nothing while on them. Then when they ran out I felt like my brain was on fire and anxiety, shaking all that. I had no idea it was w/d from benzos! I thought it was from the opiates so I started taking more opiates until it finally stopped. Only much later did I learn (from this site!) it was from benzo w/d. Now I will never take another benzo. The w/d from opiates was bad, but not as bad as benzo. And I didn't even take them that much. So I feel your pain.
Can you get help from your church? I ask because you mentioned your pastor in previous post. Don't let pride keep you from recovery. You don't have to do it alone. You really don't.
And you aren't alone here, that's for sure!
Can you get help from your church? I ask because you mentioned your pastor in previous post. Don't let pride keep you from recovery. You don't have to do it alone. You really don't.
And you aren't alone here, that's for sure!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
You're doing great, Mid. I really think you're going to avoid the worst of what you can read online or take away from my story. Do keep posting. And getting up to make lunch? Amazing stuff.
Yeah, benzos are wicked. I certainly don't mean to downplay withdrawal from any substance -- heck, pot carries a wicked price -- but it's just so counter-intuitive that the benzo whammy hits after the drug has actually left your system and not during the body's initial purging.
Please do everything you can to give yourself time, time to heal, time to rest, time for the brain to rewire.
Your resolve is inspiring to newcomers and old timers alike.
Good stuff.
Just remember that during all of this suffering it can only get better. Slowly it will get better.
Yeah, benzos are wicked. I certainly don't mean to downplay withdrawal from any substance -- heck, pot carries a wicked price -- but it's just so counter-intuitive that the benzo whammy hits after the drug has actually left your system and not during the body's initial purging.
Please do everything you can to give yourself time, time to heal, time to rest, time for the brain to rewire.
Your resolve is inspiring to newcomers and old timers alike.
Good stuff.
Just remember that during all of this suffering it can only get better. Slowly it will get better.
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