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danger zone

Old 05-09-2013, 08:56 PM
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danger zone

I really feel like,what's the point today.whats the point of being sober?****** things still happen and instead of being able to forget i have to sit here and feel gutted.i sort of feel like, I'm only hurting myself anyway so who cares'.just not liking sobriety today and wondering what the point is.
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Old 05-09-2013, 09:05 PM
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You know that drinking doesn't make it better. It makes things worse. You won't forget the problems and they will still be there when you are hung over. Be strong... You wouldn't have come here,if you didn't already know this.
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Old 05-09-2013, 09:15 PM
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I thought for a long time the point of sobriety was to make things better too AN... but it's not, not really.

sure it made me feel better - I've grown a lot - but it didn't make anything in my life better, it didn't solve anything.

I needed to do that work.

and thats the real meat of recovery for me - it's about working out healthy solutions to my problems, and it's about getting through those bad days and knowing they won't become bad weeks.

Hope the weekend is better for you

D
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Old 05-09-2013, 09:21 PM
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The point is to help others stay sober. Today you have helped me, thank you.
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Old 05-09-2013, 09:25 PM
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Just think of how great you will feel tomorrow when you wake up...don't listen to the devil inside, be strong.
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Old 05-09-2013, 09:33 PM
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I have lots of days where I don't like sobriety early on so I get it. I have made it to a number of years sober before so I know that eventually I loved sobriety. I ended up going back out for a number of years and have just come back 22 days ago. Right now it's a mixed bag of feelings every day and it's still hard after all these years of being in and out of recovery. But I have to remember why I came back again...for me it was getting scary bad out there and getting worse every day. It's amazing how our alcoholic brain can forget so quickly how bad things were while drinking. When I'm having a bad day sober I have to remind myself that the reason I'm sober today is because my days were even worse drinking.

I think I'm talking to myself as much as I am talking to you lol. I've found myself doing that on this forum. When I share my experience with someone here I am also reminding myself of my past experiences (good and bad).
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Old 05-09-2013, 10:33 PM
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I can really relate to this, animalnurse. I've been feeling like this too. It's like, I know what will happen if I go back and drink, but I don't really like being sober either. It's a tough spot to be in. But it's still early for me, and it seems to have gotten better for a lot of people who stayed sober. So, that is what is help keeping me going.

D, your post really hit home. I keep thinking that quitting is going to magically make everything better, and it seems I end up disappointed. But better, I guess, to deal with things head on, rather than make them worse with drinking.
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Old 05-09-2013, 10:38 PM
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Hi animal, you have put some of my feelings into words. It's tough sometimes. There were a few days last month when I didn't think I was going to make it through sober. Amazingly I did. I'm 97 days sober. And it's starting to get easier. The desire is lessening and I'm starting to enjoy having emotions. I find that I'm not emotionally all over the place anymore. My mom is really sick, and I am able to be there for my mom and my siblings... That wouldn't have been the case 4 months ago. My family hardly saw me. But now I'm able to handle reality a lot more effectively. It has been so worth it. I intend on continuing sobriety indefinitely.
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Old 05-09-2013, 10:42 PM
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Things absolutely will get better mirage74 - but not because sobriety is a magic wand...

It's just that being sober creates the right and the best conditions for us to do the work we need to do

Miracles still happen - just not in the Harry Potter kind of way

D
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Old 05-10-2013, 03:50 AM
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Thanks for all ur comments guy's. It wad a hard and emotional day.you've all given me something to think about.finding it really hard to sit with my feeling's.i live alone, do sometimes everything seems huge and lonely and scary. 21 day's today. Thanks every1 xx
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Old 05-10-2013, 03:52 AM
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My phoned predictive txt is also giving me a whole new reason to miss wine gggrrrr
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Old 05-10-2013, 05:08 AM
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I'm working through my 7th week sober. At first everything was new and, while difficult, it was exciting. Now things have settled into real life and the reality of sobriety is sinking in. I'm realizing this is a lot of hard work and I have to deal with myself without that buffer of alcohol and drugs. I'm discovering a lot about myself but sometimes I don't like what I discover. The thoughts of drinking/using often start to sneak in. I've gotten a glimpse into what sobriety has to offer. I really want what I've seen. I'm rambling again. I hope it helps.
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Old 05-10-2013, 05:55 AM
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Animalnurse, I live alone too, and sometimes, when it's late and all is quiet, is when it's the hardest. Our thoughts can be our own worst enemies it seems.

I tend to be an over-thinker, and it really sucks. Where some people can make a decision and move on, I agonize over the smallest of things. So, imagine what happens with the large things.

But being drunk didn't help. Though I didn't really drink to hide my feelings or avoid problems, when drinking I certainly didn't work on resolving them either!

Now, like today, I can wake up to the sun, grass wet with dew, a fresh cup of coffee in my hand , and look at my problems and thoughts with a clear mind and realize that I at least sober, I can begin to tackle them and not let them hold me hostage.
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Old 05-10-2013, 07:17 AM
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I had a lot of difficult things come up in early sobriety and I recall wanting to use how those issues made me feel as an excuse to drink. Of course, it's how I dealt with everything and my addiction knew that. "Jump in a bottle, Carl, you deserve it."

I stayed strong.

In over two and a half years sober, I continue to have days where **** things happen. But my perspective on them and how I react is so different from my drinking/early recovery days. I'm glad I didn't listen to the voice that says "who cares" because I learned I care!
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Old 05-10-2013, 07:56 AM
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20 days today for me AN, we are doing it!!!
Yeeehaaaawwww!!
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Old 05-10-2013, 08:30 AM
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The "I don't care attitude" can set you up for a relapse big time. There is nothing so bad going on in your life that a drink will help it. Early recovery gets a little bumpy...make sure you reach out for support!
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Old 05-10-2013, 08:40 AM
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all I know is drinking and drugging does not help make the day better at all! If you feel miserable, imagine what you will feel like if you used.
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Old 05-10-2013, 04:46 PM
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how are you today AN?

D
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Old 05-10-2013, 04:53 PM
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I hope you're feeling better, AnimalNurse.
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Old 05-10-2013, 05:32 PM
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Hey, I'm ok, still sober, slept alot!!! Still going through this awful emotional stage.i have a dinner tonight with some new friends and I've offered to sober drive.i haven't been in thus situations before do I'm curious and scared to see how i cope.thanks all for your comments etc xx
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