Hi animal, you have put some of my feelings into words. It's tough sometimes. There were a few days last month when I didn't think I was going to make it through sober. Amazingly I did. I'm 97 days sober. And it's starting to get easier. The desire is lessening and I'm starting to enjoy having emotions. I find that I'm not emotionally all over the place anymore. My mom is really sick, and I am able to be there for my mom and my siblings... That wouldn't have been the case 4 months ago. My family hardly saw me. But now I'm able to handle reality a lot more effectively. It has been so worth it. I intend on continuing sobriety indefinitely.