MyTimeNow

Hi Sophie, I've moved on Haven't had any more drink since Sat night. Catching up now as was too embarassed to see the fall out!

RobbyRobot

No worries. I have empathy for you, MTN. Its really just awful to see you beat yourself up for having had briefly returned to drinking, and now struggling with whatever. I'm disappointed in nothing about you, speaking for myself.

I'm never one to say any of us ever really 'think too much' you know, but having said that, I agree with your statements to concentrate on yourself -- so yeah, take what works, and forget the rest.

There will be plenty of time to streamline your progress later on, no problem. Don't sweat the small stuff right now, just get some good day-to-day sans alcohol experiences built up not so that you'll stay 'more sober' but just so that you'll ease your emotional burdens. We don't have to suffer just because we messed up in whatever. No upside to beating ourselves up.

I believe in YOU!

Have a great day, MTN.

MyTimeNow

This means a lot to me. As usual you make so much sense.

I haven't beat myself up to the extreme, but neither can I laugh it off. A prize wally is how I feel.

I am all or nothing in all ways, I throw myself off at the deep end with my experiences and my feelings, sometimes at a detriment to myself... thinking about thinking...

I need to switch off. Give experience without emotion I think (I think!) Lol... it's never going to happen. I'm smiling now, what's wrong with being empathetic? I could talk myself round in circles that's for sure

I am so glad to be here right now, on SR, you are all a gift to me.

It's making sense in my Grand Prix of a mind. I cannot thank you Robby, mecanix and freshstart enough. You're the ones who I feel I have let down. It's not like that though. I still have everything learned. I'm still building. I have confidence in myself.

Bedtime for me and Harlan Coben.

N'night all. X

jkb

You are doing great Mtn... atleast your back.... Get some sleep. Everything looks better after sleep.

Fallow

Thank you.

No I wasn't meaning AA.

I just meant give up fighting alcohol. Over and over I gave up sobriety, I kept trying to find a way to drink socially or normally. I would have given up almost anything to keep booze in my life.

You mentioned a couple times in this thread the thoughts of wanting more after having drank a few. I can relate to that a lot. I had a compulsion to drink more and more. That compulsion got worse as years went on in my case.

Now I feel that I was fighting a losing battle against the bottle. Alcohol was mopping the floor with me. I had to give up completely the idea I could control it or figure it out to stand a chance. Surrender to win

mecanix

MTN i try to feel compassion for the suffering we put ourselves through,
As one of the many different plants and flowers in the SR garden how could i ever be dissapointed or let down, have you ever been let down by a flower ? some sunshine and tending and i'm sure you'll be growing strong .
It might be a poor analogy but i hope you glimpse some of my perspective

Bestwishes, M

MyTimeNow

I can see it M. I'm the one that shoots up too quickly and then needs the pole for support. Like green beans.

Or sometimes onions.. all grown with their tops straight aloft, then in the morning all down...

I've taken your flower analogy and given it a vegetable twist, but I see it. Thank you