ntmu

i've tried emailing several people with no responses.

i called the only inpatient program i could afford and i'm sorry, i can't call people dumb and feel ok with that, but i can not believe how dumb they were.

i called the local AA hotline, i can not believe what an a**hole the guy was. he was angry before i said anything. the phone call ended with him slamming the phone down, no bye, nothing.

i'll send you the # if you want. unbelievable.

other than this website, my efforts to reach out for help are not getting good responses.

i'm staying home, it's better than asking for help, apparently.

this sucks.

ScottFromWI

Have you decided to stop yet Ntmu? That's the first step and only you can make it.

ntmu

i decided to stop, but didn't. i won't bother anyone anymore. sorry i posted this.

hypochondriac

Didn't you have a friend in recovery ntmu? Maybe they could help you. I don't know if this applies to you but when I first quit drinking I was very angry and felt like I was being attacked form every angle. I was very defensive and argumentative with people who tried to help. Especially people from AA... Why were the people at inpatient dumb? Sometimes simple is good... If you want to get over the first hurdle alone maybe AVRT could help you. Keep trying stuff x

Dee74

I remember when I was trying to quit - I reached out to a few people and organisations and got nothing back - so I wrapped myself up in self righteous rage and did nothing...another 10 years of drinking ensued.

You have support here ntmu - I'd wager you also have a few options you haven't tried yet. There's so many options and avenues out there... there must be more.

But Scott's right - you can stop drinking anytime. Its the staying stopped that's the kicker.

Stopping's not easy but it is possible...and it really does make everything else a heck of a lot easier after that.

I spent years looking for help so I could quit.
I should have quit so I could look for help...

D

Anna

Yeah, that's what happened to me too. I made a couple of feeble attempts to talk to people and got no response, so I figured that meant I could continue to drink.

Unfortunately, you need to make the commitment to stop drinking. Neither AA nor anyone else is going to be able to do that for you.

We're here to support you and help you along the way.

ntmu

i'm going to try to go to a meeting, though it is very early.

i look & smell horrible, where i used to work is a very highly polished & groomed place, they hired me because i do that look well too.

i should start crawling to this meeting now, maybe it get there in time, but don't like a lot of people in my neighborhood, so hmm, just being honest

Dee74

I'm sure they've seen worse ntmu...
Hope you make the meeting

D

Kat60

Ntmu, Have you contacted your mentor friend? You spoke so highly of him the other day. I bet he can help you with some resources....

Hope you made it to that meeting and stop soon....

ntmu

i went to the meeting. i walked so slowly there & back and dosed off a little bit during. everyone has done everything for me. at this point it's me. i think i need to handle my sobriety with the spirit & pace that i approached that meeting with for a few days.

Wastinglife

I approached my employer's Human Resources department. They are confidential and many companies pay for addiction treatment. Is that an option for you?

Kat60

Good for you for going to that meeting NTMU!!!!
Keep going! Slowly is better than not at all !!!

paul99

Sobriety is a life-saving thing. I wouldn't let a surly guy on the phone stop me, nor people not getting back to me in the time I want them to get back to me stop me. When I decided I was done, I needed to go right for it.

The only thing stopping you from getting sober is you.

And I say that with love and kindness. You're worth it.

Good luck in your journey

ntmu

f.

i may go to a poor man's hospital in the morning.

not where i want to be.

i don't want to make matters worse for myself.

what to do, what to do...

i'm not sure anyone should comment on this.

thank you

Dee74

I think getting help, any kind of help, would be a good idea ntmu.

D

ntmu

i hope you people will still be here after i live for a month with crack heads & felons and lose all of my money and maybe my home.

not sure if this is a good idea

i need real help though

not sure if this is a good idea

there's too many other factor that i have not explained

never be poor in the US

or a drunk

not worth it at all

Coldfusion

Just wanted to let you know that I went to a "poor man's" detox program, and it was a wonderful way to begin my sobriety. By putting myself in a different situation, I was able to change my outlook.

Best wishes!

Dee74

I'm not an American so I can't comment on the county hospital system - I do know it's saved a few of my friends lives here tho.

I've met a few 'crack heads and felons' right here on SR & elsewhere too - they're people just like you and me, ntmu.

My advice is not to build this into another obstacle to climb over.

D

ntmu

i got on this site & i got better.

i held out until my birthday with my parents.

everyone said having one drink leads to trouble

to the people that know that
i am living it right now

i was slowly cutting down
i was able to do that

but
BAM
the door's been bust open again

sad
truly

i only hope this embarrassment helps someone

i will be different once i am sober again

do not use my threads to pull me down from recovery
once i am hopefully able to achieve that

ReadyAndAble

You're definitely not alone, ntmu. I never had any success with cutting back over the long term. That door you're talking about is either open or it's shut. There's no in-between for us alcoholics, it seems.

But you know what? That's good news. You will be so glad you quit. All these worries—about the money, about your home—should not be blamed on rehab. Addiction is what's threatening to take those things, and left unchecked, sooner or later it will take all that and much, much more. Quitting is what stops the devastation. And the day you walk out of rehab could be the day you start rebuilding. That's not something to dread; that's something you should run toward just as fast as you can go.