I'm new and so afraid and messed up
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Re: I'm new and so afraid and messed up
So happy for you! Honesty is an amazing thing. I'm glad hubby is hanging in there with you! If you get the chance check out the book "Under the Influence" hubby will benefit from it as well if he's already been doing research. Sounds like a great guy.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Re: I'm new and so afraid and messed up
Good Morning Diane
How blessed you are to have such a Hubby ! it brought tears to my eyes as well
You have taken some terrific positive steps , good for you .
I stayed glued to this site for days, in my first week, I am so glad we can be of some help
HUGX
Lee
How blessed you are to have such a Hubby ! it brought tears to my eyes as well
You have taken some terrific positive steps , good for you .
I stayed glued to this site for days, in my first week, I am so glad we can be of some help
HUGX
Lee
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Midwest
Posts: 17
Re: I'm new and so afraid and messed up
Diane,
You said you've failed recovery and AA twice..... a person hasn't failed until they've stopped trying.
Get yourself back to a meeting, get a sponsor, and do whatever you're told to do and suggested to do, no matter what. I "failed" many times myself but when I was ready to completely surrender, took action, and did everything that everybody in the rooms had always said to do...... well that's when my life began to change. I never followed a suggestion that didn't work.
I've been around a couple of 24 hours.... and have seen every Reward and Promise come true for me... but I had to work for them.
Don't leave 5 minutes before the miracle happens.
Noticed you're in Ohio, too....Founder's Day is coming up in June in Akron... This would be a great event for you and your husband to attend.
Keep Coming Back!
You said you've failed recovery and AA twice..... a person hasn't failed until they've stopped trying.
Get yourself back to a meeting, get a sponsor, and do whatever you're told to do and suggested to do, no matter what. I "failed" many times myself but when I was ready to completely surrender, took action, and did everything that everybody in the rooms had always said to do...... well that's when my life began to change. I never followed a suggestion that didn't work.
I've been around a couple of 24 hours.... and have seen every Reward and Promise come true for me... but I had to work for them.
Don't leave 5 minutes before the miracle happens.
Noticed you're in Ohio, too....Founder's Day is coming up in June in Akron... This would be a great event for you and your husband to attend.
Keep Coming Back!
OH SH!T
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: RICHMOND,VIRGINIA-
Posts: 1,655
Re: I'm new and so afraid and messed up
NEEDHELP,MY HEART IS VERY HAPPY FOR YOU!I CAN REALLY RELATE.YOUR POST PUT A BIG SMILE ON MY FACE.I AGREE WITH THE HONESTY THING.HONESTY SOBER IS ALOT DIFFERENT THAN BRUTAL TRUTH USING,IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. STAY STRONG ted :clap :thumb
This catz gone wild!!!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wonderland...
Posts: 280
Re: I'm new and so afraid and messed up
((((needhelpnow))))
Hi! I have been busy with my out-patient program so I haven't checked in for a while. I am so glad to see that you added some 24hrs to your recovery journey! I am also very happy that your husband is supporting you! I almost cried when I read your last post about how he took you into his arms. You stay strong. If you see me on-line PM me if you wish to talk. I have a little boy so I know how hard it is to struggle through recovery with a child. It is hard to do, but you have to give yourself some alone time each day, even if its only 15 minutes to read the Big Book or take a hot bath. Believe me it helps!
Hugs;
Jocelyn :skippy:
Hi! I have been busy with my out-patient program so I haven't checked in for a while. I am so glad to see that you added some 24hrs to your recovery journey! I am also very happy that your husband is supporting you! I almost cried when I read your last post about how he took you into his arms. You stay strong. If you see me on-line PM me if you wish to talk. I have a little boy so I know how hard it is to struggle through recovery with a child. It is hard to do, but you have to give yourself some alone time each day, even if its only 15 minutes to read the Big Book or take a hot bath. Believe me it helps!
Hugs;
Jocelyn :skippy:
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 872
Re: I'm new and so afraid and messed up
Hi, I'm Ken and I am an alcoholic. Remember, we can get off the elevator before it hits the very bottom. My wife was/is an enabler, but I think this time in the program she is seeing the light. She knows that if I started to try my "controlled" drinking again, I would be right back where I started. I snuck extra shots of vodka while waiting for her to bring me more beer, capped my drinking binges off with some Vicodin or Ambien, and was only kidding one person -- myself.
By the grace of God, and with the help of AA, I am approaching 3 weeks sober. Some days are good, some tough, but all great because of sobriety.
Please only listen to the winners on this board and in your recovery, and take it one day at a time. AA is a great place for me to go and be at peace, sharing with others who have the same living and thinking problems I do.
Maybe it can work for you if you give it a try, and perhaps Al Anon would be a great place for your husband to go talk with people who are dealing with life as he is...
Prayers for you and your family...
Ken
By the grace of God, and with the help of AA, I am approaching 3 weeks sober. Some days are good, some tough, but all great because of sobriety.
Please only listen to the winners on this board and in your recovery, and take it one day at a time. AA is a great place for me to go and be at peace, sharing with others who have the same living and thinking problems I do.
Maybe it can work for you if you give it a try, and perhaps Al Anon would be a great place for your husband to go talk with people who are dealing with life as he is...
Prayers for you and your family...
Ken
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: nevernever land
Posts: 13
Re: I'm new and so afraid and messed up
Hi Everyone,
Wow, I am having a terrific weekend. I hope all of you are too. Again, I want to thank all of you for the encouragement and advice and the caring! Thanks especially to Jocelyn, Anna, Lisa, Dan, Ted, and Lee, and all of you who keep checking in on me. I haven't gotten the hang of the whole PM thing yet-but thank you for your messages and your invites to PM!!
Anyway, an update- things are going really well. Today is Saturday and I just got back from watching both of my boys score in and win each of their soccer games! YAY! The most amazing thing though, a dear friend of mine, a former nanny for my boys (I run a business and she was a godsend for us), came to stay the weekend with us, bringing her new baby, her mom and her husband, (They are looking for a house back in our town). Anyway, right before they got here Weds nite, she called to remind me that she was bringing her mom ( I had totally forgotten- I believe she had first told me on the phone while I was most certainly drunk). Well, it turns out her mom is a recovering alcoholic with 16 years sobriety. We had a fantastic talk, I told her everything that has been going on. She was so supportive, understanding, knowledgeable, etc., it was clearly a sign from above-a perfectly-timed visit!! This was the first time I'd met Jess' mom-but she instantly took me into her heart and I feel so much better and stronger. When they left today (mom lives in Cleveland), she gave me a paper with her number and told me no matter what to call her whenever, anytime I feel weak, etc. What a wonderful situation to help me while I'm starting back down this path to happiness and freedom!
So, I feel strong and renewed. I haven't had a drink or any real compulsion so far. I am reading the books I ordered and putting my thoughts and feelings in writing so that I will have some tools to help when and if the compulsion returns. Meanwhile, I am still researching a few different therapists -looking for the best match with addiction and my insurance.
Tomorrow is our 12th wedding anniversary. I am happy to say that this may just be the most meaningful one so far. We have been so much closer these past 5 days- I finally feel like a companion again. It's so refreshing to sleep near him and not worry that my breath smells like vodka...
Thank you all again for all of your support!
Diane
Wow, I am having a terrific weekend. I hope all of you are too. Again, I want to thank all of you for the encouragement and advice and the caring! Thanks especially to Jocelyn, Anna, Lisa, Dan, Ted, and Lee, and all of you who keep checking in on me. I haven't gotten the hang of the whole PM thing yet-but thank you for your messages and your invites to PM!!
Anyway, an update- things are going really well. Today is Saturday and I just got back from watching both of my boys score in and win each of their soccer games! YAY! The most amazing thing though, a dear friend of mine, a former nanny for my boys (I run a business and she was a godsend for us), came to stay the weekend with us, bringing her new baby, her mom and her husband, (They are looking for a house back in our town). Anyway, right before they got here Weds nite, she called to remind me that she was bringing her mom ( I had totally forgotten- I believe she had first told me on the phone while I was most certainly drunk). Well, it turns out her mom is a recovering alcoholic with 16 years sobriety. We had a fantastic talk, I told her everything that has been going on. She was so supportive, understanding, knowledgeable, etc., it was clearly a sign from above-a perfectly-timed visit!! This was the first time I'd met Jess' mom-but she instantly took me into her heart and I feel so much better and stronger. When they left today (mom lives in Cleveland), she gave me a paper with her number and told me no matter what to call her whenever, anytime I feel weak, etc. What a wonderful situation to help me while I'm starting back down this path to happiness and freedom!
So, I feel strong and renewed. I haven't had a drink or any real compulsion so far. I am reading the books I ordered and putting my thoughts and feelings in writing so that I will have some tools to help when and if the compulsion returns. Meanwhile, I am still researching a few different therapists -looking for the best match with addiction and my insurance.
Tomorrow is our 12th wedding anniversary. I am happy to say that this may just be the most meaningful one so far. We have been so much closer these past 5 days- I finally feel like a companion again. It's so refreshing to sleep near him and not worry that my breath smells like vodka...
Thank you all again for all of your support!
Diane
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
Re: I'm new and so afraid and messed up
Rip roaring whippin' snappin' cool! Thanks for checking back in Diane. Awesome news about your friend's mom. You are oozing peace of mind right now. I'm so glad for all your family.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Re: I'm new and so afraid and messed up
Whooooo Hoooooo! That is absolutely FANTASTIC Diane !
God sure does work in mysterious ways ! and His timing is perfect !
I am so happy for you , it is just like having a Sponser by proxy . AWESOME!
have a wonderful Anniversary, i bet it will be the best one yet !
HUGE Hugx
lee
God sure does work in mysterious ways ! and His timing is perfect !
I am so happy for you , it is just like having a Sponser by proxy . AWESOME!
have a wonderful Anniversary, i bet it will be the best one yet !
HUGE Hugx
lee
OH SH!T
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: RICHMOND,VIRGINIA-
Posts: 1,655
Re: I'm new and so afraid and messed up
HAPPY SOBER ANIVERSARY!SOMETIMES WE GET BLESSINGS BEYOND COMPARE,LOOKS LIKE YOU DID!SO HAPPY FOR YOU DIANE.MANY MORE TO YOU AND YOURS,STAY STRONG. ted 
:slider:
Sweet Sounds of Heaven
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Point Blue, Louisiana
Posts: 1,144
Re: I'm new and so afraid and messed up
"it was clearly a sign from above-a perfectly-timed visit!!"
Diane, I love it when something like that happens. Happy wedding anniversary.
Thank you for sharing your Joy.
Diane, I love it when something like that happens. Happy wedding anniversary.
Thank you for sharing your Joy.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: nevernever land
Posts: 13
Re: I'm new and so afraid and messed up
Good Morning All,
Things are going great here- I hope the weather is as great where you are as it is here! It has been a good while since I paid attention to the blossoms and the green colors. I am still sober- will be 8 days as of 3:30 pm this afternoon!! I have been reading and journaling- and of course hanging out here and reading. This support is so important and truly helpful! I have been reading some of the other threads- Ted, how are you??? Are you in rehab? You sound good. You have been such a big help to me, as have so many of you- I just wanted to know how things are with you!
Love,
Diane
Things are going great here- I hope the weather is as great where you are as it is here! It has been a good while since I paid attention to the blossoms and the green colors. I am still sober- will be 8 days as of 3:30 pm this afternoon!! I have been reading and journaling- and of course hanging out here and reading. This support is so important and truly helpful! I have been reading some of the other threads- Ted, how are you??? Are you in rehab? You sound good. You have been such a big help to me, as have so many of you- I just wanted to know how things are with you!
Love,
Diane
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