I'm new and so afraid and messed up
NOT EVEN 1 CLUB!!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: When I find myself, I'll let you know!
Posts: 1,835
Re: I'm new and so afraid and messed up
BOOKS!! Did she say BOOKS?!
Oh, now your stuck with me. LOL
Hi, I'm Missy and I'm an alcoholic, mother of 2, and make my husbands life a living hell. I guess we have a lot in common, like most people around here.
And I LOVE books. Ordered everything from drinking stories, anger management, meditation, wt loss ( when it said eat, I changed it to drink), to healing mind, body, and soul. You find any good ones you let me know!
Welcome to SR! It's a great ride!
Missy
Oh, now your stuck with me. LOL
Hi, I'm Missy and I'm an alcoholic, mother of 2, and make my husbands life a living hell. I guess we have a lot in common, like most people around here.
And I LOVE books. Ordered everything from drinking stories, anger management, meditation, wt loss ( when it said eat, I changed it to drink), to healing mind, body, and soul. You find any good ones you let me know!
Welcome to SR! It's a great ride!
Missy
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: nevernever land
Posts: 13
Re: I'm new and so afraid and messed up
Hi everyone,
Thank you so much for the encouragement. It's now 4:30- 25 hours. My husband just came home and walked right by me without even a hello. Man this is really tough!! I can't believe I might lose my family. I'll keep in touch.
Thanks again!
needhelpnow
Thank you so much for the encouragement. It's now 4:30- 25 hours. My husband just came home and walked right by me without even a hello. Man this is really tough!! I can't believe I might lose my family. I'll keep in touch.
Thanks again!
needhelpnow
Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Life Is Short
Posts: 2,017
((((Needhelpnow)))))
Welcome so sober recovery, I hope you know how blessed you've been finding this place. You'll get so much help, support, love, friendships and above all understanding, and no one judges.
I'm so sorry you're having a hard time with this, it saddens me to see your pain. I've been battling with it too, along with everyone else here. This is up to you, and with HELP, you can't do it on your own. You've already gotten the best advice from all these wonderful people, so please listen to what they have to say, don't wait. That's what I've been doing, dilly dallying around for months. Tonight I'm going to an AA meeting, it's been almost a year since I last went, and it helped when I went, but then I thought I could do it on my own, ha what a joke on me.
You're here for a reason, so stick with this gang, and please listen. You do have the strength inside you to stop this insanity, we all do, some of us just have to dig deeper to get it. And you know, from what I've been seeing with the one's who are keeping their sobriety, it's looking pretty darn awesome to me. Not being sick any more, head in a cloud, feeling that awful shame, guilt, heck you name it. So time we beat this demon down forever. We'll all be here for you. I'm taking you with me to my meeting tonight, I'll see you sitting there with everyone else here, that's I've come to love so much.
Cheer up, you can do this. If I was close to you, I'd give you the biggest hug.
Ok I'm done rambling on here, but please know we all care, and we all know how you're feeling.
Sending tons of love, extra hugs, and prayers your way...........Denise :kisshug:
I'm so sorry you're having a hard time with this, it saddens me to see your pain. I've been battling with it too, along with everyone else here. This is up to you, and with HELP, you can't do it on your own. You've already gotten the best advice from all these wonderful people, so please listen to what they have to say, don't wait. That's what I've been doing, dilly dallying around for months. Tonight I'm going to an AA meeting, it's been almost a year since I last went, and it helped when I went, but then I thought I could do it on my own, ha what a joke on me.
You're here for a reason, so stick with this gang, and please listen. You do have the strength inside you to stop this insanity, we all do, some of us just have to dig deeper to get it. And you know, from what I've been seeing with the one's who are keeping their sobriety, it's looking pretty darn awesome to me. Not being sick any more, head in a cloud, feeling that awful shame, guilt, heck you name it. So time we beat this demon down forever. We'll all be here for you. I'm taking you with me to my meeting tonight, I'll see you sitting there with everyone else here, that's I've come to love so much.
Cheer up, you can do this. If I was close to you, I'd give you the biggest hug.
Ok I'm done rambling on here, but please know we all care, and we all know how you're feeling.
Sending tons of love, extra hugs, and prayers your way...........Denise :kisshug:
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Re: I'm new and so afraid and messed up
Good Morning Needhelp! 
( I am in Australia so it is my morning Ha Ha )
So glad you have made it thus far , sounds like you have made some positive steps , thats great !
Remember we are here for you , let us know how you are going
HUGX
Lee
( I am in Australia so it is my morning Ha Ha )So glad you have made it thus far , sounds like you have made some positive steps , thats great !
Remember we are here for you , let us know how you are going
HUGX
Lee
Bird on the rise
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Walking with my Higher Power
Posts: 220
Re: I'm new and so afraid and messed up
Hi Needhelp!
I've just read the thread and there isn't much I can suggest beyond what all of the wonderful people here have suggested. Don't go it alone, keep reaching out, this place is teeming with love and support, find a meeting, look into treatment center with your doctor. There are (for the most part) some pretty wise folks on sr.
Do it for yourself, you have to want to heal, no one can give you the desire to heal but you'll find heaps of inspiration here.
Sending you love and light, I'll be praying for you.
Novemberphoenix :heart
I've just read the thread and there isn't much I can suggest beyond what all of the wonderful people here have suggested. Don't go it alone, keep reaching out, this place is teeming with love and support, find a meeting, look into treatment center with your doctor. There are (for the most part) some pretty wise folks on sr.
Do it for yourself, you have to want to heal, no one can give you the desire to heal but you'll find heaps of inspiration here.
Sending you love and light, I'll be praying for you.
Novemberphoenix :heart
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: a spiritual vortex, Colorado
Posts: 844
Re: I'm new and so afraid and messed up
heh honey
you are precious....
i lost it all before i came to AA- lost marriage, business, friends, trust, my son in my life- i finally surrendered to this disease and to this program. My life has been restored- no, not the marriage. And some of the ol friends still cannot trust me [only been 8 yrs now] - and had to start a new business life...but i have my LIFE back. And the way i did this was finally to DO IT. went to meetings. got and called a sponsor. worked the steps. kept coming back. Learned i no longer had to control the whole world.
and unlike an earlier post, i have found that altho i cannot think myself into a new way of acting, i can act myself into a new way of thinking.
love
mackat
you are precious....
i lost it all before i came to AA- lost marriage, business, friends, trust, my son in my life- i finally surrendered to this disease and to this program. My life has been restored- no, not the marriage. And some of the ol friends still cannot trust me [only been 8 yrs now] - and had to start a new business life...but i have my LIFE back. And the way i did this was finally to DO IT. went to meetings. got and called a sponsor. worked the steps. kept coming back. Learned i no longer had to control the whole world.
and unlike an earlier post, i have found that altho i cannot think myself into a new way of acting, i can act myself into a new way of thinking.
love
mackat
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: QUeeNz,NoOYaWk
Posts: 205
Re: I'm new and so afraid and messed up
you will be able to stop when you finally get sick of it..I felt like you for a long time..I thought i was uncurable..Cause every limit i put on myself thinking i would stop when i got to it, i went rite through it..I got to a point i just gave up..I thought im just gonna live my life as a junkie...And just when i thought it was over...I just one day got to an all time low and i was just soooo tired of it all..I found a great program..But even then i didnt really think i was gonna stop..I figured id fool everyone for awhile..But i got really sick almost lost my life...And that woke me up..i realized i was 21 and i didnt live life at all...And now two yrs later im doing great...and each day gets easier...
So im here to say it can be done..just dont give up..and eventually you will find away to truely want to be clean....Remember it has to come within yourself...you cant do it for anyone else....I wish you the best..and know you have found a great place...everyone here will be a great support to you..Stay strong and i know you will pull through...Jackie
So im here to say it can be done..just dont give up..and eventually you will find away to truely want to be clean....Remember it has to come within yourself...you cant do it for anyone else....I wish you the best..and know you have found a great place...everyone here will be a great support to you..Stay strong and i know you will pull through...Jackie
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Re: I'm new and so afraid and messed up
Hi there , its me again! Just checking to see how you are going ?
hang in there
One day at a time .
Dont worry about your husbands response , or lack thereof , just get yourself well first , then you can deal with the " other stuff" You cant if you are drunk
Thinking of you
HUGX
Lee
hang in there
One day at a time .
Dont worry about your husbands response , or lack thereof , just get yourself well first , then you can deal with the " other stuff" You cant if you are drunk
Thinking of you
HUGX
Lee
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: nevernever land
Posts: 13
Re: I'm new and so afraid and messed up
Hi Everyone,
Wow! I can't believe how many of you have written with such love and support. Thank you all from the bottom of my mending heart! Today, I'm feeling much better. I still haven't had a drink and I've stopped the constant waterfall of tears (although my eyes look like I've been rubbing sand in them). I spent most of yesterday hooked to this site and it helped me immensely. I called my Dr., set up an appt. and got referrals to some addiction counselors and outpt programs which I plan to set up today. I'm not quite ready to return to the face to face meetings, but if I can stay up late enough, I might try the online one tonight.
As far as things with my husband, we had a long talk last night. I told him that I knew he couldn't really understand what I was going thru and that was ok-but that this is the first time in all of the times I've done this, that I really want to stop. He was impressed that I had taken the initiative rather than let someone else push me into something. Then he told me he's been researching and spending time on sites for family members of an alcoholic. Last nite was the first time I finally admitted to him (and my Dr.) that I am one too. He took me back in his arms, told me he really loved me and would be here to support me, then held me all nite long. I woke up this morning after having a great sleep for the first time in a long time.
So, that's where things are. I can't believe how lucky I really am. I am really grateful and really believe my heart is in the right place. Thank you all so much again!!
Needhelpnow (diane)
Wow! I can't believe how many of you have written with such love and support. Thank you all from the bottom of my mending heart! Today, I'm feeling much better. I still haven't had a drink and I've stopped the constant waterfall of tears (although my eyes look like I've been rubbing sand in them). I spent most of yesterday hooked to this site and it helped me immensely. I called my Dr., set up an appt. and got referrals to some addiction counselors and outpt programs which I plan to set up today. I'm not quite ready to return to the face to face meetings, but if I can stay up late enough, I might try the online one tonight.
As far as things with my husband, we had a long talk last night. I told him that I knew he couldn't really understand what I was going thru and that was ok-but that this is the first time in all of the times I've done this, that I really want to stop. He was impressed that I had taken the initiative rather than let someone else push me into something. Then he told me he's been researching and spending time on sites for family members of an alcoholic. Last nite was the first time I finally admitted to him (and my Dr.) that I am one too. He took me back in his arms, told me he really loved me and would be here to support me, then held me all nite long. I woke up this morning after having a great sleep for the first time in a long time.
So, that's where things are. I can't believe how lucky I really am. I am really grateful and really believe my heart is in the right place. Thank you all so much again!!
Needhelpnow (diane)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 8
Re: I'm new and so afraid and messed up
good morning needhelpnow what a great way to wake up in the arms of your loved one you are on your way to a new and better life do what is good for you make the appointments and keep the appointments it seems like a daunting scary thing right now but just continue to do the little things the appointments and staying sober oh yeah congrads on your 24 wishing you the best
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
Re: I'm new and so afraid and messed up
All is well then. Restores my faith to hear that Diane. I really needed a happy thought this rainy morning. I knew from your first post you were serious and sick and tired enough. I had tremendous faith in you. What is giving me goosebumps is that your man is doing his work. Brings a tear of joy to hear that.
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