Tolerance and kindling - Why alcoholics can't drink normally again
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Here from May 2013 through Mid 2014 then drank Oct 2014 days shy of 18 months.
Back here May 2016 with a world of crap to deal with, far worse than anything I could ever imagine. I'd give back every sip of alcohol ever taken during that time if I could make it all go away.
It will NEVER change and it will NEVER get any better. All paths that involve drinking will lead you down the same sewer. It's just a matter of time.
Save yourself while you can and don't ever take the chance.
Back here May 2016 with a world of crap to deal with, far worse than anything I could ever imagine. I'd give back every sip of alcohol ever taken during that time if I could make it all go away.
It will NEVER change and it will NEVER get any better. All paths that involve drinking will lead you down the same sewer. It's just a matter of time.
Save yourself while you can and don't ever take the chance.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 701
" It will NEVER change and it will NEVER get any better. All paths that involve drinking will lead you down the same sewer. It's just a matter of time.
Save yourself while you can and don't ever take the chance. "
Truer words were never spoken.
Save yourself while you can and don't ever take the chance. "
Truer words were never spoken.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Canada
Posts: 6,869
Originally Posted by Geralt 
Recently I have read some comments here from new members that want to quit drinking for a couple of months/years and then try to drink responsibly again.
Well, I have to disappoint you (but believe me this is a blessing in disguise), that's not possible for 99% of us.
The cause is the progressive nature of the disease alcoholism and the mechanisms of tolerance and kindling.
Every withdrawal is worse than the previous one and each time you drink you will need more alcohol for the same effect. There is no way to reverse it, not a couple of months or years.
I wish I had understood this earlier, instead of binge drinking the last decade away. Over the years I forced myself into thinking that my alcohol consumption was a matter of strong will, persistence or control. I had to "master" the art of moderation and become a happy 1-2 drinks person.
But my body had already changed. Due to the effect of tolerance there was no happiness after 1-2 drinks, my nervous system screamed for more. And after that first drink, I was already powerless over alcohol and would drink more, more... till black-out. Good morning shakes, anxiety, thirst and welcome to the effect of kindling. The hangovers became acute withdrawals.
Actually it's quite silly. Someone with diabetes doesn't have an issue of "strong will" with sugar, neither someone with peanut allergy. So why do we keep fooling ourselves that our alcohol consumption is a matter of mind?
Accept that you can't ever drink again and it will be a lot easier.
Well, I have to disappoint you (but believe me this is a blessing in disguise), that's not possible for 99% of us.
The cause is the progressive nature of the disease alcoholism and the mechanisms of tolerance and kindling.
Every withdrawal is worse than the previous one and each time you drink you will need more alcohol for the same effect. There is no way to reverse it, not a couple of months or years.
I wish I had understood this earlier, instead of binge drinking the last decade away. Over the years I forced myself into thinking that my alcohol consumption was a matter of strong will, persistence or control. I had to "master" the art of moderation and become a happy 1-2 drinks person.
But my body had already changed. Due to the effect of tolerance there was no happiness after 1-2 drinks, my nervous system screamed for more. And after that first drink, I was already powerless over alcohol and would drink more, more... till black-out. Good morning shakes, anxiety, thirst and welcome to the effect of kindling. The hangovers became acute withdrawals.
Actually it's quite silly. Someone with diabetes doesn't have an issue of "strong will" with sugar, neither someone with peanut allergy. So why do we keep fooling ourselves that our alcohol consumption is a matter of mind?
Accept that you can't ever drink again and it will be a lot easier.
Changing
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: NJ
Posts: 120
thank you.
i don't know that term 'kindling' can you explain
what i do know is this
i once was a cucumber
now i'm a pickle
and i can't be a cucumber again.
i hate that this happened to me.
and i'm jealous of cucumbers.
but i'm not jealous of pickles.
tiff
i don't know that term 'kindling' can you explain
what i do know is this
i once was a cucumber
now i'm a pickle
and i can't be a cucumber again.
i hate that this happened to me.
and i'm jealous of cucumbers.
but i'm not jealous of pickles.
tiff
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 2
Originally Posted by Partyanimal
Wish I knew the answer to this....
Slaves to the body, playing with fire is fun sometimes. I think the battle lures some in, gives life a spark briefly. Or perhaps we are looking for that old friend of a feeling booze gave us? Dissapointing that our relationship with alcohol is basically suicidal. I cant help but try to moderate my drinking again after 2 years of sobriety, it reawakens all the bad things before the good, and the next morning you will feel some degree of acute withdrawals. I figure we all have a good understanding of our bodies interaction with alcohol now and can imagine what it would be like to drink various amounts in various settings. Personally I have to know for sure Im too deep in to drink even here and there a little.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
This is an excellent thread which reinforces much of what I have believed and experienced. I'm 3 weeks into sobriety again after a terrible cold turkey withdrawal period. Most acute ever and lasted probably twice what I've ever experienced before. This alone has kept me firmly sober so far but I'm aware that the cravings will come......the lies will try and drag me back but I know I'm past the point of ever being able to drink again safely. That with the added danger of ever worsening withdrawals is exactly where I am. To understand a little more why is yes a little terrifying but also absolutely necessary in terms of accepting where I am and what I can and cannot do. Relapse is a real danger for me now I believe so the more I can understand what to perhaps expect then I've a better chance of avoiding being blindsighted by symptoms which may lead to relapse which I really do not want to do. Thank you all for such vital information. This kind of this is life saving I'm sure. Jo xxx
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Even tho it's been almost 7 and a half years, I still remember the horrible withdrawals I went thru after drinking for two days after being sober six months. 
I will never put myself thru that hell again.
I will never put myself thru that hell again.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 523
Least, your post made me feel much more sane again. I didn't drink for some weeks last summer (was in hospital and had to take painkillers) and I felt so weird when I didn't drink for the first days but I thought it was just the side effects of my painkillers.
Then after being sober for some weeks I went back to daily drinking for just a week. Then tried to stop, drank again after 3 days, tried to stop again and that went on for 2 weeks until I finally stopped. I had quite bad withdrawals with shakes, insomnia, sweats, hallucinating and weird laughing / crying for no reason. I never understood how that was possible after just drinking for some days.
I even questioned if it was really a withdrawal or maybe just a flu or some stomach bug.
Then after being sober for some weeks I went back to daily drinking for just a week. Then tried to stop, drank again after 3 days, tried to stop again and that went on for 2 weeks until I finally stopped. I had quite bad withdrawals with shakes, insomnia, sweats, hallucinating and weird laughing / crying for no reason. I never understood how that was possible after just drinking for some days.
I even questioned if it was really a withdrawal or maybe just a flu or some stomach bug.
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 6
Oh been there... Thinking it was perfectly acceptable to drink a bottle of vodka on a Saturday night while watching TV and sure another one on a Wednesday to break up the week... That was my idea of moderation after drinking every night for years... That's not normal behavior..
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 1,602
Originally Posted by Roxyblues
It is physiological as was as psychological. A full blown alcoholic has blown the GABA pathways, feed back loop wide open. Those don't ever shut again so large amounts of alcoholic or any GABA drug will be needed to activate or stimulate that pleasure center at a level out bodies and minds desire.
The mu receptors are a but different for opiate addicts. Those a really reset to some degree, but not so with the alcoholic and GABA. Alcohol abuse is preformed dive and it never completely resets. That is why we quickly begin when we left off even after long periods of abstinence. In short, we screwed.
The mu receptors are a but different for opiate addicts. Those a really reset to some degree, but not so with the alcoholic and GABA. Alcohol abuse is preformed dive and it never completely resets. That is why we quickly begin when we left off even after long periods of abstinence. In short, we screwed.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
I got sober for good 8 yrs ago and my brain is now working right again. I get great pleasure from ordinary things, like walking my dogs or waking up feeling good.
I don't miss drinking at all as it brought me nothing but misery.
I don't miss drinking at all as it brought me nothing but misery.
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