Geralt

Recently I have read some comments here from new members that want to quit drinking for a couple of months/years and then try to drink responsibly again.

Well, I have to disappoint you (but believe me this is a blessing in disguise), that's not possible for 99% of us.

The cause is the progressive nature of the disease alcoholism and the mechanisms of tolerance and kindling.

Every withdrawal is worse than the previous one and each time you drink you will need more alcohol for the same effect. There is no way to reverse it, not a couple of months or years.

I wish I had understood this earlier, instead of binge drinking the last decade away. Over the years I forced myself into thinking that my alcohol consumption was a matter of strong will, persistence or control. I had to "master" the art of moderation and become a happy 1-2 drinks person.

But my body had already changed. Due to the effect of tolerance there was no happiness after 1-2 drinks, my nervous system screamed for more. And after that first drink, I was already powerless over alcohol and would drink more, more... till black-out. Good morning shakes, anxiety, thirst and welcome to the effect of kindling. The hangovers became acute withdrawals.

Actually it's quite silly. Someone with diabetes doesn't have an issue of "strong will" with sugar, neither someone with peanut allergy. So why do we keep fooling ourselves that our alcohol consumption is a matter of mind?

Accept that you can't ever drink again and it will be a lot easier.

DayTrader

I hear you loud and clear....and my experience was the same too.

Had you told me that back when I was drinking though, even when I was on "moderation experiment #357".......with 356 failures in a row under my belt.......I would have rolled my eyes, thought you were just misguided, and probably hated you. LOLOLOL

And best of all (sarcastically): even with that line of thinking above firmly in place......and it was followed by yet another failure.......I STILL had issues when someone would tell my my thinking was "insane."

......btw, dig the avatar pic. I assume that's you. Do you use "strava?" I hear that app/program/site is huge in Europe. If so....shoot me a pm. Maybe we'll start a "alkies who ride" friend-group on there and compare rides...

FlyerFan

I tried moderation for about 3 years, finally it occured to me that if I could just TRY not to drink ever again I might be okay. But the idea of not drinking forever was too overwhelming for me. So instead I just DONT drink one day at a time.

aeo1313

After reading that it hit me- no matter when I choose to call myself, getting black-out drunk twice a week is BAD NEWS for my brain!!!! Worse even than daily drinking bc of the withdrawls every few days.

I always figured since I only got drunk once or twice a week I was ok- HA!

Thanks for posting this- I sometimes need reminders.

DoubleBarrel

Thanks for posting this. This is exactly what I have experienced. I never realized that the withdrawal would get worse, even if I hadn't been drinking for as long.
But it has gone from mild shakes to severe tremors, anxiety and the need for valium to prevent more serious DTs, and even if I drink a six pack, Im back into withdrawal, where it used to be a hangover.

bloss

This is how I thought too.

Purplecatlover

Same experience here.

When I "could" control it (drink 2-4 & stop) I didn't enjoy it.
When I enjoyed it, I couldn't control it.(complete binge)

Trying to moderate was not worth the misery. It's easier to stop completely.
But it took me 1,000's of tries before it sunk in my thick head that I could not drink ever again.

Pondlady

Thanks so much for this information! Never heard of kindling before. I too find it easier to just not drink any alcohol....period! Don't ever want to trade my sobriety for a few , or many drinks....never, ever want to go through quitting again!

RecoRenee

I'm in 100% agreement here. Binge drinking is the highest risk group for kindling, more so than daily heavy drinkers due to repeated bouts of alcohol excess and then abstinence. It permanently changes the GABA receptors according to the medical literature I've read. So yeah, no going back to "responsible" drinking. The funny thing is, I actually did go down to 1 to 2 drinks. I don't crave alcohol so I can do 1 or 2 but due to kindling, it I have 5 drinks, it's over, the withdrawal is severe. So I've decided to quit altogether. Had I known what I know now, I wouldn't have binge drank the last 8 years away!

J724

This explains so much! I'm new and this thread has pretty much summed me up! I would binge drink every weekend, hangovers were no longer hangovers, they were resulting in a week of being ill. It was a viscous cycle i would just get back to feeling human and then do it all again. i realised something needed to change as i couldn't put myself through this anymore. After a 6 month clean spell i thought i could drink moderately... but no!!! I could not understand how I could binge drink heavy for weekends and then after a period of not drinking having just 1-2 drinks would leave me with withdrawal like symptoms for up to week. So I've stopped altogether, Just thinking about the way alcohol makes me feel after is my drive not to drink

hypochondriac

Welcome to SR J724 And thanks for reviving this thread, it's a good one! x

solstice3

Thanks so much for this post which spells it out clearly. I also had not heard of kindling and my hangeovers were different, due to age I thought. As I posted somewhere else today, I have no interest or desire in having 1 or 2 - my desire is always to get buzzed and that almost always ends up going beyond the 4-6 needed to achieve the 'pleasant part of the buzz'. Thus the terrible hangovers. Its just become apparently clear to me that I have been hurting my body more the last several years. This post helps explain it.

bunny44

That is a great way to think about it: We are allergic to alcohol.

My son is allergic to bee stings. He didn't used to be, but over a few years and 4 random stings, he has become allergic. Each of the last 2 stings he has gotten caused his body to have a worse reaction than before. Last time resulting in chest tightness and breathing problems.

A 'new spin' on being an alcoholic:
Instead of thinking I can moderate then failing because my body doesn't process it 'normally' anymore, I need to accept I am allergic and it is beyond my control so I have to avoid it.

Thanks for this <3

ukyorksguy

i dont quite understand the term kindling or what it is, but i can agree after quitting drink for over 5 years and being reintroduced to it ,theres no such things as getting back to drinking responsably, for me its all or nothing. Theres not buzz in 2- 3 drinks for me and never will be. For anyone that has managed resposiuble drinking your a minority or i guess didnt have to big a problem in the 1st place , maybe !?

flyonthewall

Wow, this is something I've been realizing.. sober two days now and over the past two days I've been thinking about my habits. I realized that every time I was sober, I was waiting to start drinking again . Whenever I started to drink again, I kept telling my main drinking buddy "I don't feel drunk even thought I've had 3 or 4 drinks. " and then by the time we were on our 6th drink, the **** hit the fan.

The worst hangover/withdrawls I ever had were yesterday, when I was covered in goosebumps and shaking from cold, and my insides were sore from processing too much alcohol. On top of that, it took me an hour and a half to eat a veggie burger and fries. Never again. It's really true... my body is never going to respond to one drink with a good buzz. I don't even want a buzz any more. I hate alcohol.

Thanks for posting it! I think its really true and our addictions manipulate us completely!

FreedomSought

Cool post. When I smoked marijuana, and quit, and went back, and quit, I noticed some times the withdrawal wouldn't be too bad. But sometimes I'd just be zoned out ALL DAY the next day. Like "yeah a run will snap me out of this..." and then just end up so lazy and depressed hours would pass.

But I was "only smoking at night" then so I learned to really stretch activities through the hours of the day. Looking in the bathroom mirror? No problem I could kill a half hour doing that. Weeding? No problem, could do that for 2-3 hours, fighting off the urge to smoke all day, then 5PM hit and hey its OK to smoke now

The weird thing is, maybe I would have remembered something to do like organize my bills or make a call to my insurance company, but even the next day I was still high all day even if I took 1-2 hits the night before. Really weird. I guess I burnt out young.

So to me, step 2 "A higher power could restore us to Sanity" just means that if I stay clean, my brain will start responding to stress normally again and producing dopamine, serotonin etc because that is a law of nature (see? didnt even need to use the G word!) and essentualy nature will reverse the rot.

ZoeM

When you really think about this, it's actually quite liberating, because it takes away that choice of ' will I, won't I '.
Makes for difficult reading at first, but it really is SO true!
Excellent post

Croissant

Yes, agree.

I vaguely remember hearing something about that.

If my experience with cigarettes is anything to go by, yes, it's best for me to say no to alcohol.

James18

I know this is an oldish thread, but my experience is the same. I've often tried to 'reset' my drinking habits and it has never worked. One day I'll actually face up to this fact and stop for good. Hopefully this attempt will be the one.

Soberwolf

What a post !!! Loved that last line !!