MetalChick

I really want to drink today... my Bf is gone on tour, and I swear I can take no more of this loneliness. Me and this big apt. It is too much anymore I thought I could make it, but I am to alone and sad.

MetalChick

He will not be home for weeks. he is my rock

Mizzuno

Hello. Drinking is not a good idea. You have made it this far without a drink, i think that you can make it through this day. We are here for you. You are not alone.

MetalChick

But I feel really alone... I am sorry to be a baby

flutter

I have never been happy that I drank again. Think this all the way through.. so you drink, feel momentarily better, hopefully stop at one day.. maybe you don't. In a few weeks, you wont be happy you picked up again, and might think, "If I would have just (gone to more meetings, called a friend, taken some walks, read a book, etc)" instead. On the flip side, after a craving has passed, I have never regretted not drinking either. Stay close, jump into chat.. talk through this.

IndaMiricale

You can do this , and I know you say he is your rock. But your the one and only one that can keep you sober.

So many things to do , keep busy.

Maybe go back and read some old threads
Go to the library
Long walk out in a park
AA meeting for me really help any lonliness.
The chat room here is awesome
The game room here can really help kill some hours
Just dont pick up that drink.

Stay on here all day if you feel you cant leave the apartment.
The wonderful thing of SR is 24/7 365

Routing for you

MetalChick

I had a bad dream, and I woke up alone.. and I turned all the lights on in the apt.

Mizzuno

Do you think that you are going to feel less alone tomorrow when you wake up after drinking and see that your boyfriend is still gone for 2 weeks?
This feeling is normal. It is something to work through. It is not something to sabotage through.

Happier

So sorry you are having a tough time. Glad you posted.
I am sure you know that drinking will only make it worse though. That lonely feeling will be coupled with all the others that go along with waking up after a day/night of drinking for the first time in a while.
I have enjoyed your posts over the past few weeks and hope you stay on here and continue sharing and helping others. Otherwise, please just try to keep yourself busy or occupied rather than sitting in a room missing your bf. Easy for me to sit and think too much sometimes so I need to just get out and do something...anything (other than drinking)

It's Friday. Another day that we all get to share. How will you invest today? It is truly a gift.

MetalChick

Thank you, guys...I am really feeling bad. I know you are right. If I pick up I will feel a million times worse. I just need to remember how everything is worse drinking.

MetalChick

Good lord, I am sorry... I have not wanted to pick up this bad in a while. Thank you I am glad I posted

MetalChick

You guys are so right.. it will just make everything worse. I have just been by myself in this house for a bit, and the walls are closing in on me.. little by little, but the drink is not going to help

IndaMiricale

Thats the hardest part. That disease is talking to you when your down, thats when its has to be stopped. Remember why your here how you got here. The hell you put yourself thru.

And the great things you have done now while sober. That concert I member that post you felt so proud.

I know this alcoholic is all about the instant gratification . but I know now that every relapse sucked. I just came to thinking why again.

Your in the right place.

Happier

Glad you posted as well.
You shouldn't apologize. We all have tough days. I sometimes even spend my good days planning for how to prepare for my bad days! LOL
Do you have a plan for getting through the next few hours?

Mizzuno

I am glad you posted too. You can get through this. You have come far on your path so please dont stop now. Feelings never killed anyone. I know what it is to be lonely. Hang in there. What are you going to so today that is positive and productive?

MetalChick

Thank you, Inda. You are right, I am in downer mode and feeling pretty sorry for myself

heathersweeds

Hey Metalchick-
I know you can do this! Think of this- waking up from a nightmare and hungover and full of anxiety......kinda sounds even worse right We ar alcoholics and of course the thought pops up. It's what we do with that thought. You already did the right thing and came here. Do some reading here, get your mind off it. You are not totally alone. There are people here that genuinely care and want to see you win!

MetalChick

Yes, I remember the feeling: hungover and full of anxiety.

MetalChick

Thank you. I am not going to pick up. I was right to come here. Thank you so much from all my heart.

ebshot

Hang in there MetalChick. I know it's hard when your BF/spouse leaves. It is stressful and lonely. But you can do this! We can do this. My husband is gone as well. But we will make it through.