Loneliness is too much
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 8,336
Proud of you MC! I'm only at 8 weeks, but can't wait to have 10. I've found days where I feel lonely and I'm with someone. I also feel restless sometimes. The feelings do pass, and I'm always glad I didn't cope with wine.....only makes things worse. I've been walking, cleaning, gardening, reading....I already have 7 dogs....so don't need to go to a shelter to walk one
I also enjoy some "retail therapy"...as long as I don't go over board.....sometimes just some nice bubble bath, special soap / lotion or candles. Happy Birthday!
I also enjoy some "retail therapy"...as long as I don't go over board.....sometimes just some nice bubble bath, special soap / lotion or candles. Happy Birthday!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 328
Sorry you got the blues. No need to feel like a baby, some people need human contact more often than others.
I'll be 27 in a month. I try to think of it this way:
When I turned 25, I was sad that I was no longer in my early twenties so I got insanely drunk. When I turned 26, I was sad that I was now in my late twenties so I got insanely stoned (and pretty drunk). When I'll turn 27, I'll stay in my late twenties, so no need to get insanely anything
Happy anticipated birthday.
I'll be 27 in a month. I try to think of it this way:
When I turned 25, I was sad that I was no longer in my early twenties so I got insanely drunk. When I turned 26, I was sad that I was now in my late twenties so I got insanely stoned (and pretty drunk). When I'll turn 27, I'll stay in my late twenties, so no need to get insanely anything
Happy anticipated birthday.
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 604
Happy Birthday! Celebrate by getting a pet-that was a great idea. They are wonderful company and so appreciative of your attention-they're loving, entertaining, and I can't imagine a life without one. I vote for a kitten
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 31
hey metal chick, I am in a very similar situation and I came here to post this exact topic, you beat me to it!! I got out of detox 12 days ago and this is the longest I have been sober in 2 years, my GF is in China for another two weeks and I am alone in my big apartment with nothing but my thoughts. Just reading your post and everyone's support has made me feel better already. You can get through this no problem, and you aren't alone at all, just look at all the people on this sight who care. I started writing a journal and it really helps, because when you are feeling good you can read about when you were feeling bad and then you realize that you got through it and beat those negative feelings so if it happens again you will have reassurance that you will get through it, also when you feel bad you can read about your good days and remember that it will get better. I am new to recovery so I don't have to much advice, but just remember that no one is alone in this world
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bethlehem, PA.
Posts: 1,781
MC, under the best of circumstances recovery is a dynamic process, always changing. Resolve to stay stopped has its own ebb and flow, it's very strong at times not so much so at others. There often seems to be a fizzle out factor to it. When this happens you can look at the whole thing and say "I quit for this, you gotta be kidding me" or you can realize that this is just part of the ebb and flow which will pass, it always does.
The important thing is that you recognize these periods for what they are, just thoughts. You can also try to focus your thinking on the horrific side of drinking, detox and all of that and ask yourself if that's what you really want to go back to. I doubt you want to relive any of the bad stuff but a bad decision will take you back there.
Just know that what you're going thru is not that unusual and you have to learn to roll with the flow. Use all the tools you already have and get some new ones if needed. Hang in there and remember that it's just the mind doing what minds do but you have the ultimate decision to say no.
The important thing is that you recognize these periods for what they are, just thoughts. You can also try to focus your thinking on the horrific side of drinking, detox and all of that and ask yourself if that's what you really want to go back to. I doubt you want to relive any of the bad stuff but a bad decision will take you back there.
Just know that what you're going thru is not that unusual and you have to learn to roll with the flow. Use all the tools you already have and get some new ones if needed. Hang in there and remember that it's just the mind doing what minds do but you have the ultimate decision to say no.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 316
I have to put my sobriety first, that's meant letting go of things that would make me pick up in the first place and unfortunately letting people go that stand in my way... It's been a hard road, but it's worth it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: NY
Posts: 117
Loneliness is my biggest trigger....my spouse is gone for work 24-40 hours at a time. I'm 4 days sober and getting my butt to meetings every day, making at least one phone call a day. I plan on coming here, too. Glad you came here instead of picking up!
AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 
7
AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
7
I looked like that holdin beer
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 627
Thank you so much guys. I read every post more then a few times. There I was crying like a baby, bad dreams all night, thoughts of being alone on my B-day, feeling so sorry for myself, and about to give up. I am very bad at at being alone perhaps because of growing up with an alkie and him dying when I was so young. Those old lonely feelings seemed to come back in intolerable waves. I am so glad I reached out even though I was embarrassed at first. I didn't drink and had a decent day and I am proud of myself. I wiped the tears, took a shower, got dressed, went for a drive, and then hit an AA meeting that evening. Today I had lunch with a few ladies from AA. It feels so great to have a sober b-day, and TY for all the b-day wishes.
I knew in my heart that if I picked up I would stay drunk for God knows how long, and the cycle would begin again. You guys are so smart.
Thank you so much with all of my heart You are truly amazing folks
I knew in my heart that if I picked up I would stay drunk for God knows how long, and the cycle would begin again. You guys are so smart.
Thank you so much with all of my heart
You are truly amazing folks Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and selfpity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
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