Hey Metalchick-
I know you can do this! Think of this- waking up from a nightmare and hungover and full of anxiety......kinda sounds even worse right
We ar alcoholics and of course the thought pops up. It's what we do with that thought. You already did the right thing and came here. Do some reading here, get your mind off it. You are not totally alone. There are people here that genuinely care and want to see you win!