The Updated Clean Plan for Stability
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 391
Day 10 Afternoon
Kind of scared right now. Got some major hurdles coming up. I think it might be time to come clean to my family and gf that I'm simply not going to drink any more. I wanted to do it on my own without alarming them of how serious my problem is. But for the party tomorrow my parents bought margaritas and beer and we are going to cook some king crab, clams, and halibut. I can already feel myself giving in. Like that sinking feeling that you know you are going to crumble like a cookie when the time comes.
I already have every excuse in the book lined up. But that other voice is still chiming in about living life to the fullest and not destroying my 28 like I did my 27. I have 2 more years left of my 20s to right the ship and have those memories that people should have in their 20s. So it's like a tug-o-war battle in my head right now. To be honest, I can not tell you which side is winning. The only thing I know that I do not want to do is have a hangover on Friday to start my 28 off. With that said, I also know that if I take one sip of alcohol tomorrow night, the gloves are off.
And thoughts are even creeping in to my head about tonight and having some wine tonight... I'm trying to convince myself that I'm already going to drink tomorrow night, might as well have a drink tonight and start up again on Friday.
I'm in that position again where I feel really good, worked out hard today, got a lot done, got a lot of sleep. I get that feeling of control back and keep convincing myself that I can control it. So we will see how these next two days go. Gonna be tough, but I'm full on willing to fight it as much as I can. What's scaring me is I know I can easily just say "I will not drink"... but I can't get myself to say it. It's like I'm not fully committed or something, even though I know I need it and I know I want it.
I'll keep you guys in the loop if I have any more wondering thoughts about this. Right now, I'm 99% sure I'm not going to drink tonight, I do not want to wake up tomorrow and feel like crap. I love this feeling of being sharp all day!
Kind of scared right now. Got some major hurdles coming up. I think it might be time to come clean to my family and gf that I'm simply not going to drink any more. I wanted to do it on my own without alarming them of how serious my problem is. But for the party tomorrow my parents bought margaritas and beer and we are going to cook some king crab, clams, and halibut. I can already feel myself giving in. Like that sinking feeling that you know you are going to crumble like a cookie when the time comes.
I already have every excuse in the book lined up. But that other voice is still chiming in about living life to the fullest and not destroying my 28 like I did my 27. I have 2 more years left of my 20s to right the ship and have those memories that people should have in their 20s. So it's like a tug-o-war battle in my head right now. To be honest, I can not tell you which side is winning. The only thing I know that I do not want to do is have a hangover on Friday to start my 28 off. With that said, I also know that if I take one sip of alcohol tomorrow night, the gloves are off.
And thoughts are even creeping in to my head about tonight and having some wine tonight... I'm trying to convince myself that I'm already going to drink tomorrow night, might as well have a drink tonight and start up again on Friday.
I'm in that position again where I feel really good, worked out hard today, got a lot done, got a lot of sleep. I get that feeling of control back and keep convincing myself that I can control it. So we will see how these next two days go. Gonna be tough, but I'm full on willing to fight it as much as I can. What's scaring me is I know I can easily just say "I will not drink"... but I can't get myself to say it. It's like I'm not fully committed or something, even though I know I need it and I know I want it.
I'll keep you guys in the loop if I have any more wondering thoughts about this. Right now, I'm 99% sure I'm not going to drink tonight, I do not want to wake up tomorrow and feel like crap. I love this feeling of being sharp all day!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 283
Paul I had the best sober birthday this year. My hubby had a surprise BBQ for me and everyone was drinking. I was sooooooo tempted for about 30 mins but decided not to. Once the conversation and laugher was flowing I forgot about it. I ate lots which I normally wouldn't and enjoyed every minute. The initial bit and the before bit was hard but during it and the next morning was awesome. It was the best b'day I'd had in years and it had a lot to do with being sober. All the best and :day1
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Albany NY
Posts: 1,212
Ah, but that voice that's saying it is OK to drink LIES to you. It is practiced and a pitchman no different than the Marlboro Man is shown to be the picture of health and rugged living, and how Joe Camel is cool and will make kids "cool" by throwing a cigarette in their mouths.
You have your very own personal pitchman playing in your head now. And it is a LIAR.
Tell it to STFU and say it aloud, "I will not drink". Be fearless.
See it as no different than what you experienced the other day - the marketing department that's trying to get you to drink.
You have your very own personal pitchman playing in your head now. And it is a LIAR.
Tell it to STFU and say it aloud, "I will not drink". Be fearless.
See it as no different than what you experienced the other day - the marketing department that's trying to get you to drink.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,387
Aw c'mon, Paul! I am living vicariously through your experience! Ha - not really, but I am lovin reading your posts. Please don't drink....it will be such a boost if you get through these next two tricky days..and you will be starting out feeling great and sober on your birthday. I am rooting for you! Have fun and take care.
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
Paul,
you start at the beginning of this thread and read what you wrote. Remember how you felt when you wrote the first post and go on down the posts.
I have a friend who quit drinking many years ago. At social functions and such he just says "Nah, I'm not drinking today." And he usually has his own cup with iced tea. We don't have to make a big production out of it. If anyone asks, just say no thanks. you can tell them about the fitness program you've started, the healthier diet, all true!
I hope this helps.
love from Lenina
you start at the beginning of this thread and read what you wrote. Remember how you felt when you wrote the first post and go on down the posts.
I have a friend who quit drinking many years ago. At social functions and such he just says "Nah, I'm not drinking today." And he usually has his own cup with iced tea. We don't have to make a big production out of it. If anyone asks, just say no thanks. you can tell them about the fitness program you've started, the healthier diet, all true!
I hope this helps.
love from Lenina
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Maryland
Posts: 120
it's such a sneaky voice, isn't it? for me, i had approximately 47,394 moments like this...'i'll wait until the holidays are done'...'my friend is in town for just this weekend'...'what a crap week, next week will be less stressful'...ad infinitum. (btw, i am not certain that 'infinitum' is a word, but i'm rolling with it bc it looks really good)
in any event...my thoughts are to check out some of the things you've posted in this thread, and remember that incredible feeling of energy you've been having without drinking.
keep posting, paul, and happy birthday!!!
in any event...my thoughts are to check out some of the things you've posted in this thread, and remember that incredible feeling of energy you've been having without drinking.
keep posting, paul, and happy birthday!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 391
Day 10 Night
Alright, gf is downstairs... came upstairs to change. Haven't been able to read any comments but I'll read them later. Just wanted to update that the last day of 27 was a success!! Went to a revolving sushi place and just got some tea with the gf. She isn't a huge drinker, might drink a glass of wine once a month. But I just enjoyed the night with some delicious sushi and some tea. It was fun, she even noticed it and I told her I'm really trying to get my life back in order.
I am extremely excited for tomorrow. I want 28 to be something special and I'm ready to make it happen!! I'll write more tomorrow but gotta head back down! You guys are amazing! Have a good night!
Alright, gf is downstairs... came upstairs to change. Haven't been able to read any comments but I'll read them later. Just wanted to update that the last day of 27 was a success!! Went to a revolving sushi place and just got some tea with the gf. She isn't a huge drinker, might drink a glass of wine once a month. But I just enjoyed the night with some delicious sushi and some tea. It was fun, she even noticed it and I told her I'm really trying to get my life back in order.
I am extremely excited for tomorrow. I want 28 to be something special and I'm ready to make it happen!! I'll write more tomorrow but gotta head back down! You guys are amazing! Have a good night!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Paul, I found that when I told everyone I had quit alcohol, I really felt like "YES! I'M DOING THIS!" It gave me a lot of courage and strength, just getting it out there. It also meant that nobody gave me drinks out of habit, or encouraged me to 'just have one'. I haven't told many people that I have a problem, I've just said "I'm done with it" or, "I've had enough" and that has satisfied people, really. Nobody thinks about offering me a drink now, and I don't feel awkward in social situations because everyone knows the deal and that's just the way it is. Maybe telling everyone would be a relief for you, too?
Happy birthday! I hope it's a really good one. You deserve it!
Happy birthday! I hope it's a really good one. You deserve it!
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 732
Hi Paul, I've been reading this whole thread and I wish you the best. You're very insightful. I haven't made that commitment to never drink again and it's OK. I don't think about it anymore, I just know being sober every day it the path for me. Happy Birthday! I find it helpful to bring a drink with me when I go somewhere where there's alcohol. It's easy to say "no thanks" when you have an iced coffee or bottle of water or soda in your hand. Thanks to Sapling for that trick, it really works. Once you relax, it's easier to not drink. Have a great party!!
:day6
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