Class of April 2012
Boxer
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Tampa, Florida
Posts: 151
Originally Posted by Praise7 
Easter Sunday 4/8/2012 was day 1 again for me. I had 24 years at one point but now have struggled to get past 40 days. I feel surrendered now though. I feel reborn, renewed and re-hope so maybe God willing and I know He is I will get it this time.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,477
I can't speak with authority about anyone else's experience but I've worked hard on myself and my life over the last 5 years.
I've fundamentally accepted the fact that I can keep the life I've worked for, or I can drink - but I can't do both.
It takes a lot of work and a lot of commitment, especially in the beginning, but I think it is possible to leave our drinking old life behind - for good
It needn't be a chore either - I love my life now - I think we can be vigilant without living in fear
D
I've fundamentally accepted the fact that I can keep the life I've worked for, or I can drink - but I can't do both.
It takes a lot of work and a lot of commitment, especially in the beginning, but I think it is possible to leave our drinking old life behind - for good
It needn't be a chore either - I love my life now - I think we can be vigilant without living in fear
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 9
At 14 days and for me drinking has not become something that I would do every day or in non-social situations, so when I am not in those settings (most of the time while I'm in class, doing school work, eating with roommates, sleeping) I don't even think about it almost at all. Ive found this must make racking up days a lot easier for me than for those who were in the habit of drinking every day or most days at home and/or alone. Nonetheless, I think sometimes it also allows me to neglect my recovery and pretend like there's nothing wrong and forget everything I came to believe until all the sudden I find myself in one of those situations and feel very distanced from drinking and everything bad that comes with it for me in a way that makes it feel safer. I guess I'm saying that not having to think about it all the time seems to be mainly a blessing, but perhaps if I had to work on it more or be more aware of it and intentional more of the time then I would be more prepared/in the right mindset when I find myself in those situations. Because those are the times I do drink, when I wasn't expecting to be confronted with the choice, and each time its worse physically, behaviorally, and emotionally.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
Originally Posted by laurad8911
At 14 days and for me drinking has not become something that I would do every day or in non-social situations, so when I am not in those settings (most of the time while I'm in class, doing school work, eating with roommates, sleeping) I don't even think about it almost at all. Ive found this must make racking up days a lot easier for me than for those who were in the habit of drinking every day or most days at home and/or alone. Nonetheless, I think sometimes it also allows me to neglect my recovery and pretend like there's nothing wrong and forget everything I came to believe until all the sudden I find myself in one of those situations and feel very distanced from drinking and everything bad that comes with it for me in a way that makes it feel safer. I guess I'm saying that not having to think about it all the time seems to be mainly a blessing, but perhaps if I had to work on it more or be more aware of it and intentional more of the time then I would be more prepared/in the right mindset when I find myself in those situations. Because those are the times I do drink, when I wasn't expecting to be confronted with the choice, and each time its worse physically, behaviorally, and emotionally.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
How is everyone? Larraine? Stevie? Emma? There are so many that had posted at the beginning that I'd love to hear from.
Wrapping day 13. Better mood than yesterday, and head feeling clearer. I'm on the right side of my addiction today, not feeling burdened by it but feeling empowered. Glad I can simply make a choice not to drink and all of that other stuff I stressed and obsessed over for so long (like how much I could drink or all the poor choices I made while I was drinking) kind of just goes away when I accept my fate of being a non-drinker.
Sure, sounds easy some days, but it's not easy every day, and it's not a linear path that my addiction has led me on. But, I'll take it!
Wrapping day 13. Better mood than yesterday, and head feeling clearer. I'm on the right side of my addiction today, not feeling burdened by it but feeling empowered. Glad I can simply make a choice not to drink and all of that other stuff I stressed and obsessed over for so long (like how much I could drink or all the poor choices I made while I was drinking) kind of just goes away when I accept my fate of being a non-drinker.
Sure, sounds easy some days, but it's not easy every day, and it's not a linear path that my addiction has led me on. But, I'll take it!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 78
Day 3, have a cold or similar now. Still wobbly, but really just exploring the relief of not fighting with controlling/rationalising/debating the drinking, just making this decision and trusting in my wisdom (this is a different thing, usually I spend time second guessing and rationalising and making promises with myself thinking I can 'work this out', but I have already now and I'm really falling into the idea of just letting that original decision be, it was a good one, loved ones agree, so I don't need to revisit it)
Anyway, brain dump over, back tomorrow...
Anyway, brain dump over, back tomorrow...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
Posts: 1,385
Good Morning All,
I think Dee really hit upon an important topic concerning fear. My own experiences with relapses and hearing about relapses can really start to frighten me. I do know that I don't want to live a fear-based life. I have to focus on having faith and belief in myself instead of focusing on fear. Life is just so much more rewarding sober. It really is the difference between heaven and hell. Wishing everyone a happy, sober Wednesday
I think Dee really hit upon an important topic concerning fear. My own experiences with relapses and hearing about relapses can really start to frighten me. I do know that I don't want to live a fear-based life. I have to focus on having faith and belief in myself instead of focusing on fear. Life is just so much more rewarding sober. It really is the difference between heaven and hell. Wishing everyone a happy, sober Wednesday
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,525
Day 5!
I'm still losing weight, which is amazing to me after struggling to do so for weeks and weeks in vain while I was drinking. Apparently, all the chips, cookies, and soda I have been shoveling in STILL can't compete with the destructive effects of the amount of alcohol I was drinking.
Re: fear: I relapsed the last time around after 8 successful months. So I know just how easy it is. But that doesn't mean I am going to live my life in fear. It does mean that I'm going to concentrate very hard on staying sober each day - for that day, and only that day.
I also have a little plan in mind to remind myself of the need to be vigilant, though I'm not quite ready to discuss specifics yet. It's something I plan to reward myself with if and when I make it a couple of months. I think it will be very effective.
I'm still losing weight, which is amazing to me after struggling to do so for weeks and weeks in vain while I was drinking. Apparently, all the chips, cookies, and soda I have been shoveling in STILL can't compete with the destructive effects of the amount of alcohol I was drinking.
Re: fear: I relapsed the last time around after 8 successful months. So I know just how easy it is. But that doesn't mean I am going to live my life in fear. It does mean that I'm going to concentrate very hard on staying sober each day - for that day, and only that day.
I also have a little plan in mind to remind myself of the need to be vigilant, though I'm not quite ready to discuss specifics yet. It's something I plan to reward myself with if and when I make it a couple of months. I think it will be very effective.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Dudley,Uk
Posts: 1,704
Just checking in,Day 3 for me today and i'm feeling fine and dandy....My appetite is still through the roof and i'm loving it...Heres a breakdown of what i have eaten today...Breakfast 1=4 slices of jam on toast...Breakfast 2=Bacon and fried egg sandwich with 2 fried eggs,5 rashers of bacon,split between 3 slices of bread...Snack=2 yoghurts and 1 pint of whole fat milk...Lunch=Cheese salad sandwich...Snack=1 whole pack of oreo cookies(bout 15 cookies in a pack)...Snack=1 mars bar and 1 snickers bar...Dinner=1 large kebab in pitta bread with loads of salad and extra hot habernero sauce...There we go,i have been eating like a beast,good job i plan on throwing a few weights around tommorow and its a good job that i need the extra weight on my tiny frame....Good to see all the newcomers....Off to bed to watch t.v for me in a bit...Catch you all later.....
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Ireland
Posts: 300
End of Day 10 and feel ok. Had a strong craving at around 4 o' clock. Have been having a difficult time with a family member and the temptation to drink has been strong. Have resisted though, mainly by thinking about what I would be losing. I'm worried though if I did have a relapse I'd be worse than ever because I'd feel so useless. So, all in all, not as upbeat as other days...
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