Me.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Happy Birthday! You are young still, with maybe half of your life yet to be lived. Maybe more!
Thank you for posting, and offering your story of success to others who may be as you were, those many years ago. Onward!
Thank you for posting, and offering your story of success to others who may be as you were, those many years ago. Onward!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,420
I've been having to work a little harder lately at coming to terms with my addictive nature. While still sober, I'm still finding ways of avoiding what I consider important work, things like planning sensibly for my future, making plans to improve both my personal and professional lives and being more present. Alcohol has been systematically replaced by food at first, then shopping, then Netflix binging. Somehow, I continue to avoid life almost, still isolating at times, just doing it without being intoxicated. It's as if I need a guide book on how to do this thing called life. For this week, I've instituted some changes, I am not allowed to say no to any reasonable invites, and I must do one new thing AND meet one new person outside of work. Time is flying by me so fast and I'm becoming afraid that I am going to wake up one day and I'll be past the point of doing what I want to do (if I can ever figure that out) and that's not at all what I want. I didn't get sober to waste my life away.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas
Posts: 1,736
You nailed it on the head! This is EXACTLY how I'm feeling as well.
I'm glad you're back. It's not the same around here w/out you.
We'll figure this out. We've already conquered one beast. What's another one (or two)?
I'm glad you're back. It's not the same around here w/out you.
We'll figure this out. We've already conquered one beast. What's another one (or two)?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,420
Well, Dee, I'm guessing it's much like the way I tackled drinking. Change the game and change my focus. These were the things I used to divert my attention from drinking, so the question is..... Now what?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,420
This place, and for me, this thread, which I started in 2011, is a fantastic reality check. Looking back at that first post, I sound so lost, so desperate and dreadfully in need of help, which I always (and still, to some extent) had trouble requesting from others. So many years later, I'm in such a different place, and I barely recognize the woman who wrote that post. Oh, I remember her, don't misunderstand, but it's hard to see her as me- I no longer feel lost or untethered, I am not a slave to a poison in a bottle and I live each day as it comes- whether it be good or bad or exciting or dull. My emotions don't swing one way or the other on a whim and I am able to make sane decisions that actually result in my life moving forward rather than sitting still. I continue to enjoy my Netflix- but I also go out, see friends, eat right, exercise and have a fairly fulfilling job (can't control everything) and finally, a fantastic relationship with my family. I attribute all of this to both my own resolve to leave alcohol behind and to this place, this magical online community where I went from a sad, lost soul to someone who could help here and there, into someone who stepped up and took control of my own life. Is it perfect- heck no- but now I know what I can control and what I cannot and that is seriously the difference for me. I choose how I react to things with a clear head and stick to my word because I do it all sober. Every day. I remain humble and grateful.
If you are on your journey in the first days or the hard months or feel you just can't- you CAN. If I can, anyone can. Keep going. That's what keeps so many of us going- that one person doesn't drink today because of something they read here.
Onward.
If you are on your journey in the first days or the hard months or feel you just can't- you CAN. If I can, anyone can. Keep going. That's what keeps so many of us going- that one person doesn't drink today because of something they read here.
Onward.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,420
Originally Posted by Lava 
Congratulations! I hope to achieve what you have. What an inspiration you are.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,420
So I crawl back here, tail between my legs. I was discharged from the hospital today after being replenished with fluids, minerals and vitamins that I have been leaching out of my body with copious, daily amounts of wine. Yup. I went down the rabbit hole, and my withdrawal needed medical attention. I'm proud that I listened this time, I have stopped 3 times this year already, got to the better part and went back to the bottle, because I was actually afraid of what was happening to me and from my labs and cardiac behavior, it's good that I went. I left with an armful of resources, phone numbers and names because this time I was HONEST with my medical practitioners. I've been down this road too many times now, and today I learned I won't live much longer this way. Day 2.
****I put this repost of my own from another thread to keep my thread real. Sober for such a long time. Ugh. Getting sober time is not the hard part, it's keeping it that's hard. This time, I try the AA way, and I'm kinda scared. But I'm way more frightened of what happens if I don't try one more time....
****I put this repost of my own from another thread to keep my thread real. Sober for such a long time. Ugh. Getting sober time is not the hard part, it's keeping it that's hard. This time, I try the AA way, and I'm kinda scared. But I'm way more frightened of what happens if I don't try one more time....
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I'm sorry for all you've endured, but I'm so glad you've made it back VikingGF.
I scared myself straight and then took that second chance to build a sober life I loved.
I know you have it in you to do that too.
D
I scared myself straight and then took that second chance to build a sober life I loved.
I know you have it in you to do that too.
D
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
((((((((((((VIKING))))))))))))))
You only need to stay sober today. Then get up tomorrow and stay sober tomorrow.
I'm taking it this time, one day at a time, because future tripping scares me. And when your whole existence is predicated on booze, like we are talking almost every night of your whole life, as you rebuild a sober life, you just need to put all your thought eggs in todays sober basket.
We only have today. This single 24 hours in our grasp. Lend thoughts to tomorrow, but dont allow tomorrows fear to steal the joy of today.
Rooting for ya !!!
You only need to stay sober today. Then get up tomorrow and stay sober tomorrow.
I'm taking it this time, one day at a time, because future tripping scares me. And when your whole existence is predicated on booze, like we are talking almost every night of your whole life, as you rebuild a sober life, you just need to put all your thought eggs in todays sober basket.
We only have today. This single 24 hours in our grasp. Lend thoughts to tomorrow, but dont allow tomorrows fear to steal the joy of today.
Rooting for ya !!!
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