sorry to say Im leaving
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I'm glad you decided to stay Lip 
I dunno about you, but I drank for 20 years - drinking was fundamentally infused into who I thought I was...you don't get over that in 12 weeks, mate.
Getting sober was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I had to go through all that to get where I am now.
The task looks immense - I know.
I faced that...but I figured at least with sobriety I had a chance of changing things...with drinking I was doomed for certain...
If I make it look easy to anyone (I'm not sure I do lol) it's because I've worked every single day of the last 4 and a bit years to be the best Dee I can be....and because I have the support of the wonderful group here.
Cut yourself some slack. Your story is fundamentally my story...and it's someones else's story too...and that's why we all help each other, no matter how long we have or where we are.
You're one of us
D
I dunno about you, but I drank for 20 years - drinking was fundamentally infused into who I thought I was...you don't get over that in 12 weeks, mate.
Getting sober was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I had to go through all that to get where I am now.
The task looks immense - I know.
I faced that...but I figured at least with sobriety I had a chance of changing things...with drinking I was doomed for certain...
If I make it look easy to anyone (I'm not sure I do lol) it's because I've worked every single day of the last 4 and a bit years to be the best Dee I can be....and because I have the support of the wonderful group here.
Cut yourself some slack. Your story is fundamentally my story...and it's someones else's story too...and that's why we all help each other, no matter how long we have or where we are.
You're one of us
D
Last edited by Dee74; 05-19-2011 at 02:41 PM. Reason: waking up...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 694
I’ve read all this and glad you decided to stay too, I had tear’s reading some of the responses, you do help us, this thing is a killer and we have to stick together if we’re going to beat it. I can’t be here to post to a lot of things because I have a field type job working outside with no PC until I get home but I do read, and I am really glad you did not delete your account.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Surrey Uk
Posts: 42
Originally Posted by Lipitor 
But I faked it ...I told myself I was getting better and set out to encourage others , to give my pathetic humorous slant to the forum and hope that it might help me...
I tried , but , in the absence of truth , once again , I found that I resented myself for lying to the members of SR .
In a way , I did not lie, I just half faked it .
Part of me wanted what all of you have .
I read the threads and truly get the agony that people go through....
But they all seem honest
Im a bloody liar and Im trying , tonight to forgive myself for that .
All alcoholics lie, apparently .
Thank you for taking the time to respond to this thread...
I appreciate it very much ...
My mood is lifting up a little..... Just for now , things dont seem so bad , well, not as bad as they did about ten or fifteen posts ago ..
thank you again
Lip
I tried , but , in the absence of truth , once again , I found that I resented myself for lying to the members of SR .
In a way , I did not lie, I just half faked it .
Part of me wanted what all of you have .
I read the threads and truly get the agony that people go through....
But they all seem honest
Im a bloody liar and Im trying , tonight to forgive myself for that .
All alcoholics lie, apparently .
Thank you for taking the time to respond to this thread...
I appreciate it very much ...
My mood is lifting up a little..... Just for now , things dont seem so bad , well, not as bad as they did about ten or fifteen posts ago ..
thank you again
Lip
Hi all ! New member been reading for a long time , but this thread is ME aswell
I am convinced I am getting sober as I drink reading these forums ffs
I have a 8 month sober life last year ( amazing, clear thinking plus sleeping like a baby and the rest) now I am back into the " I will pack up tomorrow" never ending self repeating torture.You sir sound just like me , and BY YOU STICKING around and posting your thoughts/views will help so many people, YOU HELPED ME ! You made me post for the very first time.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 4
Lipitor -
Like vInDaLoO this is my first ever post - I have been reading for months and have never posted.
You have compelled my to respond for the first time.
I am still drinking but am losing my battle. I have been hospitalized twice in the last six months for serious dehydration.
Please don't go - I don't see anyone here say they are perfect in any way.
Like vInDaLoO this is my first ever post - I have been reading for months and have never posted.
You have compelled my to respond for the first time.
I am still drinking but am losing my battle. I have been hospitalized twice in the last six months for serious dehydration.
Please don't go - I don't see anyone here say they are perfect in any way.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Albany NY
Posts: 1,212
Hi Lipitor:
I pass this on to you, just as Kadybug did for me yesterday. It appeared on CarolD's Fear thread yesterday, in response to a post I made there. I was in a bad, bad state of mind due to a long-brewing set of unfortunate circumstances and Kadybug appeared out of the blue. I was consumed with stinking thinking yesterday, and I know I cannot stay there or I get sick again, which could lead me to drinking. I got the answer I was seeking. There are no coincidences when it comes to getting sober, especially if you reach out. You, in turn and by reaching out, help many, many others....me included.
I think the parable speaks to the many sentiments on this thread being expressed to you.
I have gotten out of the hole, but I depend on ALL of you...no matter where you are on your path to recovery.
I wish you all the best.....
************************************************** ****
From an April, 2006 post by Tryintohelp: (my favorite AA parable to date, I might add ...)
The Hole
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A drunk fell in a hole and couldn't get out. A businessman went by. The drunk called out for help. The businessman threw him some money and told him get yourself a ladder. But the drunk could not find a ladder in this hole he was in.
A doctor walked by. The drunk said, "Help, I can't get out." The doctor gave him drugs and said, "Take this, it will relieve the pain." The drunk said thanks, but when the pills ran out, he was still in the hole.
A renowned psychiatrist rode by and heard the drunks cries for help. He stopped and said, "How did you get there? Were you born there? Were you put there by your parents? Tell me about yourself, it will alleviate your sense of loneliness." So the drunk talked with him for an hour, then the psychiatrist had to leave, but he said he'd be back next week. The drunk thanked him, but he was still in his hole.
A priest came by and the drunk called for help. The priest gave him a Bible and said I'll say a prayer for you. He got down on his knees and prayed for the drunk, then left. The drunk was very grateful, he read the Bible, but he was still stuck in that hole.
A recovering alcoholic happened to be passing by. The drunk cried out, "Hey, help me, I'm stuck in this hole." Right away, the recovering alcoholic jumped in the hole with him. The drunk said, "What are you doing? Now we're both stuck here." But the recovering alcoholic said, "It's okay, I've been here before, I know how to get out."
__________________
- Kathye
If you're going to pray for rain, bring an umbrella!
I pass this on to you, just as Kadybug did for me yesterday. It appeared on CarolD's Fear thread yesterday, in response to a post I made there. I was in a bad, bad state of mind due to a long-brewing set of unfortunate circumstances and Kadybug appeared out of the blue. I was consumed with stinking thinking yesterday, and I know I cannot stay there or I get sick again, which could lead me to drinking. I got the answer I was seeking. There are no coincidences when it comes to getting sober, especially if you reach out. You, in turn and by reaching out, help many, many others....me included.
I think the parable speaks to the many sentiments on this thread being expressed to you.
I have gotten out of the hole, but I depend on ALL of you...no matter where you are on your path to recovery.
I wish you all the best.....
************************************************** ****
From an April, 2006 post by Tryintohelp: (my favorite AA parable to date, I might add ...)
The Hole
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A drunk fell in a hole and couldn't get out. A businessman went by. The drunk called out for help. The businessman threw him some money and told him get yourself a ladder. But the drunk could not find a ladder in this hole he was in.
A doctor walked by. The drunk said, "Help, I can't get out." The doctor gave him drugs and said, "Take this, it will relieve the pain." The drunk said thanks, but when the pills ran out, he was still in the hole.
A renowned psychiatrist rode by and heard the drunks cries for help. He stopped and said, "How did you get there? Were you born there? Were you put there by your parents? Tell me about yourself, it will alleviate your sense of loneliness." So the drunk talked with him for an hour, then the psychiatrist had to leave, but he said he'd be back next week. The drunk thanked him, but he was still in his hole.
A priest came by and the drunk called for help. The priest gave him a Bible and said I'll say a prayer for you. He got down on his knees and prayed for the drunk, then left. The drunk was very grateful, he read the Bible, but he was still stuck in that hole.
A recovering alcoholic happened to be passing by. The drunk cried out, "Hey, help me, I'm stuck in this hole." Right away, the recovering alcoholic jumped in the hole with him. The drunk said, "What are you doing? Now we're both stuck here." But the recovering alcoholic said, "It's okay, I've been here before, I know how to get out."
__________________
- Kathye
If you're going to pray for rain, bring an umbrella!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 259
Originally Posted by vInDaLoO
Hi all ! New member been reading for a long time , but this thread is ME aswell 
I am convinced I am getting sober as I drink reading these forums ffs I have a 8 month sober life last year ( amazing, clear thinking plus sleeping like a baby and the rest) now I am back into the " I will pack up tomorrow" never ending self repeating torture.
You sir sound just like me , and BY YOU STICKING around and posting your thoughts/views will help so many people, YOU HELPED ME ! You made me post for the very first time.
I am convinced I am getting sober as I drink reading these forums ffs
I have a 8 month sober life last year ( amazing, clear thinking plus sleeping like a baby and the rest) now I am back into the " I will pack up tomorrow" never ending self repeating torture.You sir sound just like me , and BY YOU STICKING around and posting your thoughts/views will help so many people, YOU HELPED ME ! You made me post for the very first time.
Welcome. and how do you feel??
Posting for the first time , that is , well, I dont know what to say except thank you for being honest
Im staying on the forum because, yesterday , I showed my cuts , abrasions and the ugly side of me that hides things .
And nobody , NOT ONE PERSON , said anything derogatory .
If anything .
The theme/ feeling that I got from every reply was,
"It is ok"
I believe, I think ,while rattling my fingers across this laptop keyboard, That
I almost believe that it is ok too.
I am as thick as two short planks when It comes to factual matter and honesty actually sinking into the grey matter .
Thanks for posting .
I appreciate it
L
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 259
Originally Posted by remily
Lipitor -
Like vInDaLoO this is my first ever post - I have been reading for months and have never posted.
You have compelled my to respond for the first time.
I am still drinking but am losing my battle. I have been hospitalized twice in the last six months for serious dehydration.
Please don't go - I don't see anyone here say they are perfect in any way.
Like vInDaLoO this is my first ever post - I have been reading for months and have never posted.
You have compelled my to respond for the first time.
I am still drinking but am losing my battle. I have been hospitalized twice in the last six months for serious dehydration.
Please don't go - I don't see anyone here say they are perfect in any way.
For a start , right now, thank you for posting for the first time'
Please fight, It is what Im trying to do , you are honest , straight away from your first post . Not like me. The prince of lies for ages and ages until it all got the better of me.
Thank you , keep us up to date.
You have guts , thank you for being honest.
I have a smile on .
You helped ME by posting your first post
L
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 259
Originally Posted by Raindance
I was that liar on this board for 3 years. Even started a new account because I was tired of coming back with "yep, failed again".
It's ok. Not everyone is "well". What I hear from your post is you finally getting honest.
It's not going to come to you right away how to live your life sober. I went to rehab, so I was in a controlled environment to purge all my ****, break myself down completely and then slowly build myself back up.
It takes time. Are you doing anything other than white knuckling?
It's ok. Not everyone is "well". What I hear from your post is you finally getting honest.
It's not going to come to you right away how to live your life sober. I went to rehab, so I was in a controlled environment to purge all my ****, break myself down completely and then slowly build myself back up.
It takes time. Are you doing anything other than white knuckling?
It is really not that bad most of the time. But when It hits it feels like I have got the
White knuckle blues ....
No ,
Im not doing anything else really , only the forum.
L
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
so glad you decided to stay....and now you can see that your contributions are really an asset to the forums.
2 new people joined this thread (Welcome BTW)...so your posts did good and helped others...that is always a good thing, Lips....just go one day at a time for now and maybe tweak the gameplan as needed?
2 new people joined this thread (Welcome BTW)...so your posts did good and helped others...that is always a good thing, Lips....just go one day at a time for now and maybe tweak the gameplan as needed?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: toronto canada
Posts: 181
hey lipitor.
thanks for staying mate.
i always enjoyed reading your posts..
i think we share the same sense of humour? with all your fawlty towers quips.lol
im stuck in that hole with you mate...dark down here isn't it.
but theres an awful lot of people willing to send down a rope and pull us out.
i know we cant beat this disease on our own.
we need the support of other sufferers who have recovered and know the way to health.
i like you have fought this beast for years and have been beaten to my knees by it.
but i know with willingness and a faith in god that i can recover and go on to help other alcoholics.
dont beat yourself up about your lie ...every single one of us have lied and done worse than lie.
nobody can beat us up like we do ourselves...i know i'm my own worst enemy..man i kick the **** outta myself for days..i hate myself when iv'e come off a bender.
so dont go...just know we are all here for you and each other..
i know for myself the worst thing i can do is isolate myself and give in to the temptation of drink....it absolutley kicks the hell outta me to the point i want to die..
we CAN do this ..all of us together//but remember divided we fall
thanks for staying mate.
i always enjoyed reading your posts..
i think we share the same sense of humour? with all your fawlty towers quips.lol
im stuck in that hole with you mate...dark down here isn't it.
but theres an awful lot of people willing to send down a rope and pull us out.
i know we cant beat this disease on our own.
we need the support of other sufferers who have recovered and know the way to health.
i like you have fought this beast for years and have been beaten to my knees by it.
but i know with willingness and a faith in god that i can recover and go on to help other alcoholics.
dont beat yourself up about your lie ...every single one of us have lied and done worse than lie.
nobody can beat us up like we do ourselves...i know i'm my own worst enemy..man i kick the **** outta myself for days..i hate myself when iv'e come off a bender.
so dont go...just know we are all here for you and each other..
i know for myself the worst thing i can do is isolate myself and give in to the temptation of drink....it absolutley kicks the hell outta me to the point i want to die..
we CAN do this ..all of us together//but remember divided we fall
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 259
Originally Posted by FNB3
Lipitor, I am not trying to flame you in any way so please don't interpret it as such but there are a few things I think:
You are just like everyone else here and one of many...
You love attention! We all do...I wish every thread and post would "do me" too...
You are hard on yourself...typical behavior for us
Believe it or not, if you leave everyone here will go on just fine...or at least will go on in the same manner as they would if you were here. It's not that you aren't an impactful contributor, it's just that in reality it really is "all about me" for everyone on here...
Your success AND failure helps people here. Even if it was all lies and failure it helps. It shows people what to do and what not to do...it's a benchmark in many ways
I don't ever feel judged here. I can do and say pretty much what I want and take what I need and that's great if something I say can help just one other. If people think I'm a loser or a fraud or a jerk...who cares...I'm not here for anyone but me and my family.
So stay or go...up to you...SR will be here regardless...use it for whatever you need it for Lipitor. Remember those daughters of yours, whatever you do, as I recall they are feeling you out right now...not sure what you are going to do...
Be well man...
You are just like everyone else here and one of many...
You love attention! We all do...I wish every thread and post would "do me" too...
You are hard on yourself...typical behavior for us
Believe it or not, if you leave everyone here will go on just fine...or at least will go on in the same manner as they would if you were here. It's not that you aren't an impactful contributor, it's just that in reality it really is "all about me" for everyone on here...
Your success AND failure helps people here. Even if it was all lies and failure it helps. It shows people what to do and what not to do...it's a benchmark in many ways
I don't ever feel judged here. I can do and say pretty much what I want and take what I need and that's great if something I say can help just one other. If people think I'm a loser or a fraud or a jerk...who cares...I'm not here for anyone but me and my family.
So stay or go...up to you...SR will be here regardless...use it for whatever you need it for Lipitor. Remember those daughters of yours, whatever you do, as I recall they are feeling you out right now...not sure what you are going to do...
Be well man...
And , everything else you wrote is great, right , and to the point.
My kind of bloke.
Thanks
L
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 259
Originally Posted by Fandy
so glad you decided to stay....and now you can see that your contributions are really an asset to the forums.
2 new people joined this thread (Welcome BTW)...so your posts did good and helped others...that is always a good thing, Lips....just go one day at a time for now and maybe tweak the gameplan as needed?
2 new people joined this thread (Welcome BTW)...so your posts did good and helped others...that is always a good thing, Lips....just go one day at a time for now and maybe tweak the gameplan as needed?
Lips ? I quite like that .
how funny .
Just today is good .. I feel accepted and even , dare I say it , happy .
Thanks .
L
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,413
Hey Lip... so glad you decided to stick around.
By now, you should be convinced you are not alone in this battle.... we are one big family.
I, too, was in very deep and drank way too much -- but somehow I turned it around and you can to. I can't say it is easy, but it is worth the time and work.
Tonight, you made a big step by being honest -- now you can move forward in your recovery.
I wish you all the success in the world. Remember we are all in this together... as you can see by the responses and support.
This thread in itself will help so many people. Thanks for starting it!
By now, you should be convinced you are not alone in this battle.... we are one big family.
I, too, was in very deep and drank way too much -- but somehow I turned it around and you can to. I can't say it is easy, but it is worth the time and work.
Tonight, you made a big step by being honest -- now you can move forward in your recovery.
I wish you all the success in the world. Remember we are all in this together... as you can see by the responses and support.
This thread in itself will help so many people. Thanks for starting it!
Encourager In Training
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: KS
Posts: 717
Lip - If you'll allow the trite...
"We're as sick as our secrets."
When I quit drinking I discovered I wasn't equipped with a "truth" switch. Rather, I seem to have one of those turny-knobs, like a light dimmer. So--in fits and spurts--I've been divulging the truth of my addictions for the entire 21 months of my ongoing recovery.
And you know what?
It seems every time I humble myself and stand in my truth, the balance of power shifts a little more away from my past and towards my future.
I don't know why simply saying (or typing) my truth to another human being is so empowering. Truly, I don't care...I'm just thankful it is so.
And on your leaving, I am compelled to advise you of SR Bylaw Article 2.1.4.b which clearly binds anyone who comedically uses an equation of motion from ever leaving the fold.
"We're as sick as our secrets."
When I quit drinking I discovered I wasn't equipped with a "truth" switch. Rather, I seem to have one of those turny-knobs, like a light dimmer. So--in fits and spurts--I've been divulging the truth of my addictions for the entire 21 months of my ongoing recovery.
And you know what?
It seems every time I humble myself and stand in my truth, the balance of power shifts a little more away from my past and towards my future.
I don't know why simply saying (or typing) my truth to another human being is so empowering. Truly, I don't care...I'm just thankful it is so.
And on your leaving, I am compelled to advise you of SR Bylaw Article 2.1.4.b which clearly binds anyone who comedically uses an equation of motion from ever leaving the fold.
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