sorry to say Im leaving
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Lips;
if you ever read through the 10 nightly gratitudes thread, you will see my posts that repeat the phrase "fake it until I make it"....it doesn't pertain to drinking, but getting to a better place in my head and happiness.
if you ever read through the 10 nightly gratitudes thread, you will see my posts that repeat the phrase "fake it until I make it"....it doesn't pertain to drinking, but getting to a better place in my head and happiness.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 456
The original quote was from "How it works" in the The Big Book.
"As the honesty begins, so does the recovery" - I think I just came up with that to summarize what the BB said - but I may have also heard it somewhere too. Wherever it came from, it's something I learned to be vitally important to my recovery.
-I smoked a cigarette last night - first in 4 days. I slipped up. It sucks. I won't smoke today. I won't drink today. I'll drink the Sh!t out of coffee, however.
Peace
"As the honesty begins, so does the recovery" - I think I just came up with that to summarize what the BB said - but I may have also heard it somewhere too. Wherever it came from, it's something I learned to be vitally important to my recovery.
-I smoked a cigarette last night - first in 4 days. I slipped up. It sucks. I won't smoke today. I won't drink today. I'll drink the Sh!t out of coffee, however.
Peace
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 609
Done it all myself y'know. There were many times in my first few months, I really thought I was going crazy and felt so erratic. I over reacted to many things, including on recovery forums, because I felt so raw and dealing with emotions again after so much time. It gradually evened out and in the end it was worth it but going through it isn't easy. I still experienced cravings for a long time and wondered how I was going to endure this? For what it's worth, I think it helped me to know that what I was going through can be expected, and it didn't mean that I was losing my mind.
Best thing I did was being honest with the medical carers, no matter what which I still have to remind myself to do sometimes because you are right, lying does begin to become second nature when you are an addict/alcoholic and trying to hide it. I think however being able to express the truth though does help in recovery. Only took me 9 months to get there myself.
Best thing I did was being honest with the medical carers, no matter what which I still have to remind myself to do sometimes because you are right, lying does begin to become second nature when you are an addict/alcoholic and trying to hide it. I think however being able to express the truth though does help in recovery. Only took me 9 months to get there myself.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 259
Originally Posted by RyanRed 
Bah! I don't think you "lie" more than you just don't explain everything in detail about your drinking. I do the same my good friend. A lot of people out there still till this day have no freakin clue how bad I was drinking. And if I told them that I'm trying to stop now, they would just say something like "Your quitting drinking? I didnt know you even drank that much!" lol.
And even still with people who knew I was a bad alcoholic, I still even haven't told them I'm trying to stop (some of them anyways, a select few know). Why you might ask? Well its down right freaking embarrassing. Who likes to admit to others their all screwed up. No one! Not me, not you, not anyone.
Thats still something I'm struggling with is letting people know whats really going on in my life. Its easy here because none of you personally know me in real lfe. So coming clean here is a cakewalk. If I'm judged here who cares right?. Telling people in real life is a whole different story.
So i say to you! Don't dip out on this place. If anything, this should be a place you can feel more comfortable talking to people. If you don't like what people say, its as easy as a click or a scroll to go on to something else
.
**Wouldnt that be nice if it worked like that in day to day life. I dont like this! CLICK away. Wow this person makes no sense. CLICK away. Hot chicks want to meet you! DOUBLE CLICK! lol!**
Anyways bud, you will be missed if you leave. I really don't understand why you would, this place can be very helpful. Take it with a grain a salt if you will. Just because some get a lot out of this forum and others don't, its still a very good informational tool to have.
I command you to STAY!
-Ryan
And even still with people who knew I was a bad alcoholic, I still even haven't told them I'm trying to stop (some of them anyways, a select few know). Why you might ask? Well its down right freaking embarrassing. Who likes to admit to others their all screwed up. No one! Not me, not you, not anyone.
Thats still something I'm struggling with is letting people know whats really going on in my life. Its easy here because none of you personally know me in real lfe. So coming clean here is a cakewalk. If I'm judged here who cares right?. Telling people in real life is a whole different story.
So i say to you! Don't dip out on this place. If anything, this should be a place you can feel more comfortable talking to people. If you don't like what people say, its as easy as a click or a scroll to go on to something else
. **Wouldnt that be nice if it worked like that in day to day life. I dont like this! CLICK away. Wow this person makes no sense. CLICK away. Hot chicks want to meet you! DOUBLE CLICK! lol!**
Anyways bud, you will be missed if you leave. I really don't understand why you would, this place can be very helpful. Take it with a grain a salt if you will. Just because some get a lot out of this forum and others don't, its still a very good informational tool to have.
I command you to STAY!
-Ryan
thanks ryan...
Ok OK Darth RED vader ...Ill stay ... I made a choice to stay on here about an hour ago..
Thanks again ...My bloody mood is so much better ...I guess I call it SUPPORT.
from SR .
It really helped. and if you want to double click on hot chicks ,,,try cross dressing transexual satan worshippers....click click click
just kidding ....
holy S H I T ...my sense of humour coming back a little albiet warped and in need of much psychiatric work
Thanks again Ryan.
I appreciate your time and eloquent way with words my friend
L
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
Lipitor:
You know my struggles--but here we both still are. I want to tell you about the real lie.
The real lie is that this is easy. The real lie is that any of us will ever be completely over alcohol.
And that's the lie you will not tell.
After my recent relapse I was chided and told that I didn't really "want" to quit.
Here's a little truth.
No. I don't "want" to quit. I need to quit. And I will quit.
But I will never pretend it isn't a huge deal.
A terrible struggle and occasional failure is not a lie.
Pretending that the ache of wanting to slip into a state of sedation is a lie. Pretending that it's easy is a lie.
You have been so truthful. I've never had the impression you were glad-handing me or playing this thing down.
So be real, be here, and be wherever else you need to be.
But be here. We do need your honest voice.
You know my struggles--but here we both still are. I want to tell you about the real lie.
The real lie is that this is easy. The real lie is that any of us will ever be completely over alcohol.
And that's the lie you will not tell.
After my recent relapse I was chided and told that I didn't really "want" to quit.
Here's a little truth.
No. I don't "want" to quit. I need to quit. And I will quit.
But I will never pretend it isn't a huge deal.
A terrible struggle and occasional failure is not a lie.
Pretending that the ache of wanting to slip into a state of sedation is a lie. Pretending that it's easy is a lie.
You have been so truthful. I've never had the impression you were glad-handing me or playing this thing down.
So be real, be here, and be wherever else you need to be.
But be here. We do need your honest voice.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,028
Just when you come clean and really open up you want to leave? That's when you truly need to be here. What everyone has said is so true. I'm new here and I can't say more than any of them have but for me what you've done today is a major break through.
This site is here for people exactly like you and me. We lie, we can't be trusted, we have major addictions and we have wronged so many people. How many people can admit to that and all at once? Very few.
I could reveal more about myself but I'm not ready. Just because I don't doesn't mean I'm lying to you or anyone else. It's a journey and a process. I won't judge anyone here because my god I have absolutely no right.
Keep posting and stay engaged someone may get major help from you.
This site is here for people exactly like you and me. We lie, we can't be trusted, we have major addictions and we have wronged so many people. How many people can admit to that and all at once? Very few.
I could reveal more about myself but I'm not ready. Just because I don't doesn't mean I'm lying to you or anyone else. It's a journey and a process. I won't judge anyone here because my god I have absolutely no right.
Keep posting and stay engaged someone may get major help from you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,234
Lipitor, recovery isnt easy but it can be. I can honestly
say that im here in SR to share my own ESH with whom
ever wishes to read it. This is my own way of working
my program for ME. Every now and then someone will
say thank you and how they appreciate what I share,
however there will always be someone who will not like
it. That in my opinion is not my problem. We cant please
everyone.
Even with my 20 yrs sobriety, someone might have feelings
of jealousy or anymosity or just dont like it. All I can say is,
thats not my problem.
Im here for me and im sure ive pizzed people off at one
time or another and all i can say is ..that's not my problem.
I have a purpose in life and I try to work my program to
the best of my ability incorperating the steps and principles
of our AA program in my everyday affairs.
I try to show or share compassionately and honest to the
best of my ability.
If I can help you in anyway then im here for you because
I was where you were 20 yrs ago learning to stay sober
one day at another.
The only reason why Im where Im at today is because
I did whatever I needed to do and wanted to do to stay
sober and live happy.
say that im here in SR to share my own ESH with whom
ever wishes to read it. This is my own way of working
my program for ME. Every now and then someone will
say thank you and how they appreciate what I share,
however there will always be someone who will not like
it. That in my opinion is not my problem. We cant please
everyone.
Even with my 20 yrs sobriety, someone might have feelings
of jealousy or anymosity or just dont like it. All I can say is,
thats not my problem.
Im here for me and im sure ive pizzed people off at one
time or another and all i can say is ..that's not my problem.
I have a purpose in life and I try to work my program to
the best of my ability incorperating the steps and principles
of our AA program in my everyday affairs.
I try to show or share compassionately and honest to the
best of my ability.
If I can help you in anyway then im here for you because
I was where you were 20 yrs ago learning to stay sober
one day at another.
The only reason why Im where Im at today is because
I did whatever I needed to do and wanted to do to stay
sober and live happy.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
I didn't read the whole thread...leaving for work -but I see you are still here, I see you did a great job in the admittance department and maybe now you'll take the next step.
Please stay and keep us company...we need you. ((hug))
Please stay and keep us company...we need you. ((hug))
Servant of God
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Parts Unknown
Posts: 214
Lipitor, I am not trying to flame you in any way so please don't interpret it as such but there are a few things I think:
You are just like everyone else here and one of many...
You love attention! We all do...I wish every thread and post would "do me" too...
You are hard on yourself...typical behavior for us
Believe it or not, if you leave everyone here will go on just fine...or at least will go on in the same manner as they would if you were here. It's not that you aren't an impactful contributor, it's just that in reality it really is "all about me" for everyone on here...
Your success AND failure helps people here. Even if it was all lies and failure it helps. It shows people what to do and what not to do...it's a benchmark in many ways
I don't ever feel judged here. I can do and say pretty much what I want and take what I need and that's great if something I say can help just one other. If people think I'm a loser or a fraud or a jerk...who cares...I'm not here for anyone but me and my family.
So stay or go...up to you...SR will be here regardless...use it for whatever you need it for Lipitor. Remember those daughters of yours, whatever you do, as I recall they are feeling you out right now...not sure what you are going to do...
Be well man...
You are just like everyone else here and one of many...
You love attention! We all do...I wish every thread and post would "do me" too...
You are hard on yourself...typical behavior for us
Believe it or not, if you leave everyone here will go on just fine...or at least will go on in the same manner as they would if you were here. It's not that you aren't an impactful contributor, it's just that in reality it really is "all about me" for everyone on here...
Your success AND failure helps people here. Even if it was all lies and failure it helps. It shows people what to do and what not to do...it's a benchmark in many ways
I don't ever feel judged here. I can do and say pretty much what I want and take what I need and that's great if something I say can help just one other. If people think I'm a loser or a fraud or a jerk...who cares...I'm not here for anyone but me and my family.
So stay or go...up to you...SR will be here regardless...use it for whatever you need it for Lipitor. Remember those daughters of yours, whatever you do, as I recall they are feeling you out right now...not sure what you are going to do...
Be well man...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 83
Lipitor,
Whenever things get me down, be it relating to recovery or otherwise, I take two steps back from my own problems and imagine other places in the world.
I am grateful I am not living in a war torn part of the world fearing bombs or bullets.
I am grateful I have food to eat and clean water to drink.
I am grateful to have a roof over my head.
I am grateful not to be affected by natural disaster.
...and so on.
Other people around the world do not have those basic necessities, so when recovery gets tough and it feels like your problems are weighing you down, try thinking like this, it helped me become more at peace with myself. Maybe this can help you too.
Whenever things get me down, be it relating to recovery or otherwise, I take two steps back from my own problems and imagine other places in the world.
I am grateful I am not living in a war torn part of the world fearing bombs or bullets.
I am grateful I have food to eat and clean water to drink.
I am grateful to have a roof over my head.
I am grateful not to be affected by natural disaster.
...and so on.
Other people around the world do not have those basic necessities, so when recovery gets tough and it feels like your problems are weighing you down, try thinking like this, it helped me become more at peace with myself. Maybe this can help you too.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 273
I was that liar on this board for 3 years. Even started a new account because I was tired of coming back with "yep, failed again".
It's ok. Not everyone is "well". What I hear from your post is you finally getting honest.
It's not going to come to you right away how to live your life sober. I went to rehab, so I was in a controlled environment to purge all my ****, break myself down completely and then slowly build myself back up.
It takes time. Are you doing anything other than white knuckling?
It's ok. Not everyone is "well". What I hear from your post is you finally getting honest.
It's not going to come to you right away how to live your life sober. I went to rehab, so I was in a controlled environment to purge all my ****, break myself down completely and then slowly build myself back up.
It takes time. Are you doing anything other than white knuckling?
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Please don't go Lip. We are one big, dysfunctional family who understand each other like no one else can. Believe it or not, your daily drinking schedule is like mine was just before I quit. Yet, I sit here over 3 yrs. sober - so I know you can make it out of hell too. Sending love.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: CO.
Posts: 141
I think the proof is in the puddin' here Lipitor, a lot of people, myself included, are truly pulling for you. We all know what it is like to fall on our face, to tell lies or give the PG version of things that have happened in our lives. I feel your pain man. I am relatively new to SR, but the first couple times I tried to get the ball rolling but couldn't, I bailed for a couple days because I felt tremendous guilt for letting those who lifted me up, down. It goes to show us all that you care deeply about getting control of your life; otherwise, it simply wouldn't bother you. Do what you need to do for yourself, but I, for one, hope to see some posts from you in the foreseeable future. Hang tough Lipitor.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 31
I'm so sorry you were having such a rough time earlier, but I wanted to tell you that your original post did help at least one person.... Me!
So you see..... we really do need each other around here. I'm glad you decided to stick around!!
So you see..... we really do need each other around here. I'm glad you decided to stick around!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hi lipitor!
If SR makes you feel badly then taking a step back is fine....but leaving altogether is not...at leadst in my opinion
I tried and failed for 5 years to get well...this is the first time it has worked...so I hear you and what you are going through.
We do need you here....we all need each other in fact
Sending You love and prayers (whether you want them or not)
LaFemme
If SR makes you feel badly then taking a step back is fine....but leaving altogether is not...at leadst in my opinion
I tried and failed for 5 years to get well...this is the first time it has worked...so I hear you and what you are going through.
We do need you here....we all need each other in fact
Sending You love and prayers (whether you want them or not
)LaFemme
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