Class of May 2011
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: near London, UK
Posts: 582
Hi to the new sharers and welcome.
Pleased to say that the craving passed, I made the meeting and it was really good for me, it wasnt like one id been to before. Im pleased to say I stood up and walked across the room in front of everyone to accept a "chip" signifying that I wish to embark on the AA way of life. It was an emotional moment for me and also I think it will help me with the higher power business - its like my lucky charm - something I could "pray" with rather than conventional GOD which I dont believe in.
My biggest encouragement is the realisation that the cravings do pass and now I know what they mean by saying "this too shall pass" - well thats the way I chose to interpret it.
How is everyone doing - It'd be great to hear some updates.
PS x
Pleased to say that the craving passed, I made the meeting and it was really good for me, it wasnt like one id been to before. Im pleased to say I stood up and walked across the room in front of everyone to accept a "chip" signifying that I wish to embark on the AA way of life. It was an emotional moment for me and also I think it will help me with the higher power business - its like my lucky charm - something I could "pray" with rather than conventional GOD which I dont believe in.
My biggest encouragement is the realisation that the cravings do pass and now I know what they mean by saying "this too shall pass" - well thats the way I chose to interpret it.
How is everyone doing - It'd be great to hear some updates.
PS x
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 51
Having another go at this....
I first joined last September, went off the alcohol for a few weeks, relapsed, came back in November and repeated the same thing.
Well, I'm ready to have another go at it (and hopefully successful this time). I was in a 10k race last Sunday and had 2 pints after it so no hangover as such.
The weekend before, I drank all day Saturday, Sunday, Monday and most of Tuesday. I was extremely close to going to a Dr. but didn't bother in the end up. I had the sweats in bed, cold one minute, roasting the next, black rings below the eys, dried skin in the face, dehydration all week, etc. - the usual story.
I seriously don't know if I can hack another withdrawal like it. I also know I can't handle moderation - the 2 pints after the race last week had me close to going on a full session but it was Sunday and I had just about enough sense to stay off it for the busy day I had ahead of me in work. So that makes today DAY 5 for me.
I've missed to many days and it's at a point where everyone in the office knows it's hangover-related. I've got scars from drink-related accidents in years-gone-by - one of which resulted in a nurse telling me that I was lucky I wasn't brain damaged.
Yet I keep drinking.... it must be astonishing to a non-drinker wondering why we do it to ourselved.
Okay, well anyway, I was at the gym today and started a new weights program and I've bought a new iPhone app (All-In Fitness) that keeps track of the workouts you make and the ones you miss. I've also joined a Yoga class every Wednesday and will be joining a cycling club which will pass most Sundays on the bike.
This will keep me pretty active. I'm reading a weight training book at the moment and will take up reading a little more often as well.
If it doesn't work on my own this time.... AA will be the route for me!!!
Well, I'm ready to have another go at it (and hopefully successful this time). I was in a 10k race last Sunday and had 2 pints after it so no hangover as such.
The weekend before, I drank all day Saturday, Sunday, Monday and most of Tuesday. I was extremely close to going to a Dr. but didn't bother in the end up. I had the sweats in bed, cold one minute, roasting the next, black rings below the eys, dried skin in the face, dehydration all week, etc. - the usual story.
I seriously don't know if I can hack another withdrawal like it. I also know I can't handle moderation - the 2 pints after the race last week had me close to going on a full session but it was Sunday and I had just about enough sense to stay off it for the busy day I had ahead of me in work. So that makes today DAY 5 for me.
I've missed to many days and it's at a point where everyone in the office knows it's hangover-related. I've got scars from drink-related accidents in years-gone-by - one of which resulted in a nurse telling me that I was lucky I wasn't brain damaged.
Yet I keep drinking.... it must be astonishing to a non-drinker wondering why we do it to ourselved.
Okay, well anyway, I was at the gym today and started a new weights program and I've bought a new iPhone app (All-In Fitness) that keeps track of the workouts you make and the ones you miss. I've also joined a Yoga class every Wednesday and will be joining a cycling club which will pass most Sundays on the bike.
This will keep me pretty active. I'm reading a weight training book at the moment and will take up reading a little more often as well.
If it doesn't work on my own this time.... AA will be the route for me!!!
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 5
Month of May
It's a great month and a great song by arcade fire (it youre into them). I somehow mustered the consideration to surprise my mom for mothers day and feel really good about it. I flew in from NYC and typically planes and airports meant airport lounges and mini bottles from the drink cart. My family would always be amazed how messed up I could get on an hour flight to pittsburgh, I would always explain it away as nerves. It feels good to spend REAL time with them and although my cravings are still strong I didnt drink today and even went to my old Fri night AA meeting and saw some old friends. I spoke about the fear I felt walking in there the first time (it was the 1st meeting I've ever attended) and how I let my fear of living a sober substance free life has led me to relapse again and again. I'm on day 2 but at least I'm on day 2. In the past I've always wanted to get better so quickly and fix my life that I never took things one day at a time. Today is day 2 and thats enough for me today. I didnt drink today I'm taking my old sponsor to lunch tomorrow and Im happy to be a part of the May Team. We can do it we need to do it!!
Resting Easy
Join Date: May 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 99
Originally Posted by gaz80 
Hi All, Thanks to Pumpkin for the ivite to join. Im on day 3 today after almost 2 years without any drink or drugs.
I will say i was shocked to find that after 2 years without and then just 5 days back on it how huge the cravings are , its just as bad as last time ,and last time I did 6 weeks in 5* rehab ! if any of you can PLEASE learn from my mistake , we can NEVER drink again , I feel like i have wasted 2 years of my life now , its a much worse feeling than 2 years ago. So stay strong people , im proof that you cant just have that couple of drinks , it grabs you again from the first sip and then you just want more.
Feeling pretty bad about myself and what i have done to the people around me today.
I will say i was shocked to find that after 2 years without and then just 5 days back on it how huge the cravings are , its just as bad as last time ,and last time I did 6 weeks in 5* rehab ! if any of you can PLEASE learn from my mistake , we can NEVER drink again , I feel like i have wasted 2 years of my life now , its a much worse feeling than 2 years ago. So stay strong people , im proof that you cant just have that couple of drinks , it grabs you again from the first sip and then you just want more.
Feeling pretty bad about myself and what i have done to the people around me today.
Resting Easy
Join Date: May 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 99
So here's what happening with me on Day 6. Still okay. No alcohol. I'm an alcoholic that can drink anything really. No preferences...except whichever one there is more of. So, the advantage to that now is there is no one alcohol I miss. The disadvantage is anyone that appears is a temptation. But, I don't have any cravings. I guess that's good. I find situations hard. Times when I typically liked to have a drink...the 5:00 pm happy hour time...the 8:00 watching TV time....the Friday night end of the workweek time....the any celebration time...the man what a pisser of a day time...the can't sleep so how bout a nightcap time.... So I have to be on alert at those times and have a plan. So far the 5:00 times have been okay. I'm working a little later and then praying for the power to see me through the night. The 8:00 time or whenever I'm alone and would have had a drink..I'm here with you all on SR...and loving it. What a great find this is. It really helps. The Friday night so far so good...I made plans that kept me out of trouble. I know I need a plan for the mood times...bad day, tired, down days.... Any advice on that, Pumpkin?
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Idaho
Posts: 87
I would also like to join the May team. 6 days sober. Went to my first AA and received my 24 hr chip. When I think of drink, I take the coin out and read it. I rub my thumb over the letters. Its a tool for my tool box.
The cravings havent been too bad...yet. That voice is saying "see, you can handle it, one or two wont hurt you". But Ive been tricked by the monster before. I cant handle it. I am completely powerless. I cant even have a drop. Only now I can admit that.
I really liked the 5 reasons not to drink today. So much I printed it off and put it in my wallet. Another tool for my tool box. Thanks Pumpkin. And thanks to everyone sharing their trouble and triumphs. We cant do it alone.
The cravings havent been too bad...yet. That voice is saying "see, you can handle it, one or two wont hurt you". But Ive been tricked by the monster before. I cant handle it. I am completely powerless. I cant even have a drop. Only now I can admit that.
I really liked the 5 reasons not to drink today. So much I printed it off and put it in my wallet. Another tool for my tool box. Thanks Pumpkin. And thanks to everyone sharing their trouble and triumphs. We cant do it alone.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 232
Its great to see the May class growing! I like being at the same stage of recovery and seeing how we're all doing as the days pass. When I joined in April I didn't fully appreciate what it meant to join in with a group. Then when I left the group because I drank again I was so sorry. Now with May I can see how much I want to stay here and not have to join in with June!
We all want the same kind of life I think, where we can really be ourselves without drinking.
Pumpkin Soup, its so true about the cravings, they do pass thankfully and hopefully appear less often as time goes by.
Slowstar, It was touching to hear about your mother's day surprise and how much you enjoyed it sober. For me its often fear of life sober which makes me drink too. I think its about growing in self-confidence and finding new ways to engage with life. I'm still working on this because I find it very hard to get motivated about doing something new.
Itsabout time, I admire how active you are. Its something I must include in my daily routine and I do have the time even for a 30 min walk. My last two attempts were 11 days and 12 days sober so something has to change if I'm to stay on track this time!
Hope everyone is having a good weekend!
We all want the same kind of life I think, where we can really be ourselves without drinking.
Pumpkin Soup, its so true about the cravings, they do pass thankfully and hopefully appear less often as time goes by.
Slowstar, It was touching to hear about your mother's day surprise and how much you enjoyed it sober. For me its often fear of life sober which makes me drink too. I think its about growing in self-confidence and finding new ways to engage with life. I'm still working on this because I find it very hard to get motivated about doing something new.
Itsabout time, I admire how active you are. Its something I must include in my daily routine and I do have the time even for a 30 min walk. My last two attempts were 11 days and 12 days sober so something has to change if I'm to stay on track this time!
Hope everyone is having a good weekend!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 51
Originally Posted by Marria
Itsabout time, I admire how active you are. Its something I must include in my daily routine and I do have the time even for a 30 min walk. My last two attempts were 11 days and 12 days sober so something has to change if I'm to stay on track this time!
If you tackle that program, before you know it, you'll be running 5k runs and will have 9 weeks sobriety under your belt.
I also started taking this Carlsons Fish Oil. I always had bad memories of the taste of fish oil from when I was a child but this actually tastes okay and seems to be working wonders for my skin and hair. If you do decide to order something from iHerb.com, you can use my code ROR319 which will get you $5 off your first order.
The official website for the Couch to 5k program is Couch to 5k - C25K Running Program - you might be interested in reading the 'Inspiration' articles half way down the page.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: near London, UK
Posts: 582
Hi all, its been lovely to wake up to all the positive updates.
Itsabout time - I agree, the non-alcies (lucky things) have good reason to be astounded and its not surprising alot of them think we do this by choice, even I can see (when I am thinking clearly) that picking up another drink and taking myself back into the cycle of hell is total and utter insanity. Its fantastic to be able to talk to others in here who seem to all know what it feels like to have that addict voice in their head.
Slowstar - lovely to surprise your family sober, I told my Mum last night that I was back into the programme, I was avoiding speaking to her as sometimes her comments are a trigger for me but its time I bloody well got used to putting up with some stick now and then - its not like I dont deserve it. However she was just pleased (yet understandably guarded) and the conversation went well.
CatFry how are you doing???
TodayToo - gosh I dont really feel qualified to be the person to ask for advice having only got as far as 12 days sober in many years. I am happy to make suggestions as we are all doing in here. Mood times - thats a tough one for me aswell - I have a very large sensitive "F**k it" button so I am trying my hardest to stay on an even keel. I was even worried about being over happy yesteray so at least I am aware my moods can be dangerous. This time round I am going to try meditation and distraction and of course coming on here to read and post if I can. The reminders off what this hell is like should be enough but I am finding the group of us here in Class of May very very encouraging and you guys (along with my chip) are becoming my higher power.
3steeds - yey, we both got our first chip! I agree it feels nice to fiddle about with haha. I have kept mine close to me since I had it. I might rename it my Mojo Glad you liked the reasons not to drink - I did too thats why I reposted it - anyone else care to post some for today? I would but think this post is gonna be long enough! I just wanted to connect with people personally as well as the whole group as my memory is really bad so this will help me keep up with who is who.
Marria - Im gonna make "this so shall pass" my mantra when the cravings hit, people around me (not that there are often many) are gonna think im nuts! Oh yeah - Im an alcie - I AM nuts.
Sooooooo happy to be hangover free on a Saturday - its been a long long long time
Itsabout time - I agree, the non-alcies (lucky things) have good reason to be astounded and its not surprising alot of them think we do this by choice, even I can see (when I am thinking clearly) that picking up another drink and taking myself back into the cycle of hell is total and utter insanity. Its fantastic to be able to talk to others in here who seem to all know what it feels like to have that addict voice in their head.
Slowstar - lovely to surprise your family sober, I told my Mum last night that I was back into the programme, I was avoiding speaking to her as sometimes her comments are a trigger for me but its time I bloody well got used to putting up with some stick now and then - its not like I dont deserve it. However she was just pleased (yet understandably guarded) and the conversation went well.
CatFry how are you doing???
TodayToo - gosh I dont really feel qualified to be the person to ask for advice having only got as far as 12 days sober in many years. I am happy to make suggestions as we are all doing in here. Mood times - thats a tough one for me aswell - I have a very large sensitive "F**k it" button so I am trying my hardest to stay on an even keel. I was even worried about being over happy yesteray so at least I am aware my moods can be dangerous. This time round I am going to try meditation and distraction and of course coming on here to read and post if I can. The reminders off what this hell is like should be enough but I am finding the group of us here in Class of May very very encouraging and you guys (along with my chip) are becoming my higher power.
3steeds - yey, we both got our first chip! I agree it feels nice to fiddle about with haha. I have kept mine close to me since I had it. I might rename it my Mojo
Glad you liked the reasons not to drink - I did too thats why I reposted it - anyone else care to post some for today? I would but think this post is gonna be long enough! I just wanted to connect with people personally as well as the whole group as my memory is really bad so this will help me keep up with who is who.Marria - Im gonna make "this so shall pass" my mantra when the cravings hit, people around me (not that there are often many) are gonna think im nuts! Oh yeah - Im an alcie - I AM nuts.
Sooooooo happy to be hangover free on a Saturday - its been a long long long time
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: near London, UK
Posts: 582
Welcome almay - great to connect with another UKer - not that anyone anywhere in the world isnt welcome - its just nice to have some of you on the same timeline it kind of makes some things easier to relate to - such as when my usual craving times hit - after work etc.
I enjoy the language barrier challenges - although we all speak English -things such as pushbike as mentioned in another post above - there have been many references to things I dont know what they mean I must make a point of asking when it happens.
Got a bit of stress going on now I just took my autistic brother to get a train to visit my mum in cornwall - he had to change at one station after I dropped him at Slough and he has got on the wrong train! Its going the right way but its an earlier one he wasnt booked for and could get kicked off. Am kind of on call now to try and make sure he gets there safely - my Mum is stressing big time and its having a bit of a knock on effect on me. Its a damn good job im not trying to sort this out with a hangover!
Must find my Mojo - put it in my purse when we left for the station. Bless him he kissed it for me and wished me luck
PS x
I enjoy the language barrier challenges - although we all speak English -things such as pushbike as mentioned in another post above - there have been many references to things I dont know what they mean I must make a point of asking when it happens.
Got a bit of stress going on now I just took my autistic brother to get a train to visit my mum in cornwall - he had to change at one station after I dropped him at Slough and he has got on the wrong train! Its going the right way but its an earlier one he wasnt booked for and could get kicked off. Am kind of on call now to try and make sure he gets there safely - my Mum is stressing big time and its having a bit of a knock on effect on me. Its a damn good job im not trying to sort this out with a hangover!
Must find my Mojo - put it in my purse when we left for the station. Bless him he kissed it for me and wished me luck
PS x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: near London, UK
Posts: 582
Yep im gonna shower and do the same soon too - was going to go on the Wii fit for an hour first but it seems the controls are missing - I think the kids must've taken them to their Dad's for the weekend which is a bit frustrating but I will just have to have a walk instead (once ive made myself presentable and know the bro has reached the correct destination!).
Where in the UK are you Almay? Im close to Watford.
PS x
Where in the UK are you Almay? Im close to Watford.
PS x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: near London, UK
Posts: 582
Im in trouble - cant believe how quickly things can change.
Craving very very badly.
Hungry - dont know why Ive been eating all day
Angry - ex supposed to be coming for dinner not heard anything for a long time
Lonely - see above
Tired - again dont know why I slept 9 hours last night and havent been active at all
Ive been telling myself it will pass for over two hours now........
I would go for a walk but its raining and I would probably end up buying a bottle of vodka.
There is cider in the fridge (I kept it for the ex) - it hasnt bothered me since day 1 until now.
My f*** it button is glowing red alert - a few minor annoying things have got to me over the last hour and one more will probably push it.
Just remembered I have PMT too - serious major trigger (sorry men).
If I cave I will close this down for the night and come back and face my shame tomorrow. The way I am feeling I just dont know how things will go.......
Gonna fiddle with my mojo for a bit - try take my mind away from it somehow.
Aaaargh.
Craving very very badly.
Hungry - dont know why Ive been eating all day
Angry - ex supposed to be coming for dinner not heard anything for a long time
Lonely - see above
Tired - again dont know why I slept 9 hours last night and havent been active at all
Ive been telling myself it will pass for over two hours now........
I would go for a walk but its raining and I would probably end up buying a bottle of vodka.
There is cider in the fridge (I kept it for the ex) - it hasnt bothered me since day 1 until now.
My f*** it button is glowing red alert - a few minor annoying things have got to me over the last hour and one more will probably push it.
Just remembered I have PMT too - serious major trigger (sorry men).
If I cave I will close this down for the night and come back and face my shame tomorrow. The way I am feeling I just dont know how things will go.......
Gonna fiddle with my mojo for a bit - try take my mind away from it somehow.
Aaaargh.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: near London, UK
Posts: 582
It passed - eventually.
Jeez how scary, I was so close - a reminder to self to be on guard at all times and never become complacent.
May post what the voice was telling me another time - dont want to dwell on it now in case it comes back.
Jeez how scary, I was so close - a reminder to self to be on guard at all times and never become complacent.
May post what the voice was telling me another time - dont want to dwell on it now in case it comes back.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 51
Originally Posted by Pumpkin Soup
It passed - eventually.
Jeez how scary, I was so close - a reminder to self to be on guard at all times and never become complacent.
May post what the voice was telling me another time - dont want to dwell on it now in case it comes back.
Jeez how scary, I was so close - a reminder to self to be on guard at all times and never become complacent.
May post what the voice was telling me another time - dont want to dwell on it now in case it comes back.
That's good to hear.... keep strong!!!
I'm just waiting for Britains Got Talent here now.... that'll keep me occupied till bedtime....
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