Class of October 2010 Sobriety Group
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: A Much Happier Place!
Posts: 91
Hello Class of 10/10 and welcome all the newcomers. Its fantastic to see so many new people join when I was away. Day 26 for me and things are well. I normally only post here, dont want you to think that I am cheating on ye with other threads but today I am worried that if I post anything other than something positive it might just upset some of our brilliantly brave Newcomers but on the other hand ye are my classmates and I rely on you thoughts/views so here it is....
I am so proud of myself when I say day 26 but yet feel strange. This disease is a bit like childbirth, sorry lads, but after a few weeks of being sober you almost forget the pain that brought you to the hard mental and physical decison to stop drinking. I think I am turning into one of those narky dry drunks, the miserable ones. This week here is mid term and my family spent a few days with my sister & family in the uk which was lovely but not easy. At the end of each lovely day spent in various parks with the kiddies, herself, her hubbie and my hubbie would have a few glasses of fizz of beer. This was grand as I understand it is not them that is sick, then arrived back wed night hubby has another few beers before bed, then yesterday we took a river trip of our city and dinner with all our extended family, hubby again has couple of beers at meal, couple back at his mums and a few more when we arrive home.
I find this really difficult as suddenly I am NOFUN.COM. I am defo moodier with the kids at the moment as just feel a bit walked on. The enthusisiam I had in the beginning is not as it was. I spent all last night just reading all your new threads and they are a brilliant reminder of how and why we all started this eternal journery. I now feel I am just the designated driver as we live in the countryside. In order that I can survive the evenings I have to go to bed early, well 10ish, which is another frowned thing as my husband works nights so he is only off a few nights at a time. But I cant sit and do the same routine.....everything has changed for me know...
I tried to discuss this with him this morning & it ended in the usual, 'you shouldnt drink, you couldnt function, it doesnt effect me, you have lead yourself to your own demise....' I know what a sh*t!! Yes I made the decision and one I 1000000000000000000 milllion zillion percent glad that I have, but a bit of support wouldnt go a miss.
the plot thickens.... tonight we are going to dinner in our neighbours and good pals place we and a gang of about 10 others, should be fun but again another test. I always said when I stopped drinking I wanted to start living again so hence I have attended EVERY social occassion invited to and stayed sober but boy it is getting hard and a bit boring. I am alway thrilled the next day that I survived each occassion but still tonight I am not looking forward to the point where I will want or need to leave and everyone says 'ah stay!'...I dont want to be on stage all night either....these are good pals and I couldnt let them down especially because of my sobriety....then the drink would still be the winner and I will not let that poision have any more control over me
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,481
It always took more than just not drinking for me MooMoos - I had to look at why I wanted to drink, and what exactly was wrong with my life (and me) that I was drawn back again and again to something that was so disastrous to me.
At a less philosophical level,. I had to rediscover how to have fun sober again - for me that meant doing new things, making new friends, and maybe dropping some old ones, and not going out to as many social events that I knew would be centered mainly around booze.
All that takes time - don't be discouraged
I realised you can be happy and fufilled sober - but I think it's much much harder to do that living the same life, just without booze.
I didn't use AA but a lot of people do to learn how to be happy and sober too.
I hope you find your way to living happily sober Moo Moos - don't give in...I was several months in before I realised I was happy and not resentful about not drinking anymore
D
At a less philosophical level,. I had to rediscover how to have fun sober again - for me that meant doing new things, making new friends, and maybe dropping some old ones, and not going out to as many social events that I knew would be centered mainly around booze.
All that takes time - don't be discouraged
I realised you can be happy and fufilled sober - but I think it's much much harder to do that living the same life, just without booze.
I didn't use AA but a lot of people do to learn how to be happy and sober too.
I hope you find your way to living happily sober Moo Moos - don't give in...I was several months in before I realised I was happy and not resentful about not drinking anymore
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: A Much Happier Place!
Posts: 91
Dee, thanks a mill for that, I know of course you are dead right and in all fairness I feel that I am saying 'YES' to so many social things as I know deep deep deep down that I am just as much fun if not more without the drink.
There is nothing nicer than pals seeing you for who you really are. I used to hate waking up, one eye open trying to figure out the previous night events....and then the regrets, worrying etc etc.
I am heading to away with a group of girls from our village in a couple of weeks. I had originally said no when I was drinking as I didnt want to make a fool of myself and worried I wouldnt be able to drink as much as I wanted but then as soon as I stopped drinking I got on the text and said YES as I knew the trip would not revolve around drink and would be interesting and fun. So some doors are really opened
There is nothing nicer than pals seeing you for who you really are. I used to hate waking up, one eye open trying to figure out the previous night events....and then the regrets, worrying etc etc.
I am heading to away with a group of girls from our village in a couple of weeks. I had originally said no when I was drinking as I didnt want to make a fool of myself and worried I wouldnt be able to drink as much as I wanted but then as soon as I stopped drinking I got on the text and said YES as I knew the trip would not revolve around drink and would be interesting and fun. So some doors are really opened
Drunk in Recovery
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 143
MickinMD wrote:
Hi Mick! I am not sure if this is what you meant, but if it were a matter of self-restraint or discipline for me, I would have avoided a lot of liquor stores a lot sooner. It's like with depression -- I always knew I should just "cheer up" and "snap out of it," but telling myself that had no effect whatsoever. Just like clinical depression, alcoholism is a condition that is bigger and more powerful than me, and my determination to just think my way out of it got me absolutely nowhere on my own, except back where I started (and worse) again and again.
For me, once I resolved that I truly had to make a change to keep my life from becoming a total disaster, I had to take completely different approaches than I did with any type of self-discipline before. I could achieve a little sobriety through self-will, but I couldn't achieve any type of recovery from my true problems that way. For me the answer was AA and the 12 steps. I am still shocked to find that I don't need self-discipline around alcohol anymore -- it simply no longer holds the attraction that it did before. It's as if alcohol was my old, destructive lover, and I've now fallen in love with a new one that supports me in everything I want to do with my life.
Good morning, everyone! So glad you are all here.
I did feel a slight twinge today when I was driving home after work, but it was easy to ignore -- today. I expect the urge will be stronger on some days, and that's when I will really need to exercise self-restraint, or discipline, or whatever it is I need to avoid the liquor store.
For me, once I resolved that I truly had to make a change to keep my life from becoming a total disaster, I had to take completely different approaches than I did with any type of self-discipline before. I could achieve a little sobriety through self-will, but I couldn't achieve any type of recovery from my true problems that way. For me the answer was AA and the 12 steps. I am still shocked to find that I don't need self-discipline around alcohol anymore -- it simply no longer holds the attraction that it did before. It's as if alcohol was my old, destructive lover, and I've now fallen in love with a new one that supports me in everything I want to do with my life.
Good morning, everyone! So glad you are all here.
Drunk in Recovery
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 143
Hi Moos -- how did it go last night?
It can be very threatening in a partnership when one person changes, even for the better, and the other one had benefited in some way from that person's old behavior. I wish your husband could be more supportive, but if he can't, continue to seek out support from others who "get it", and keep taking care of yourself. Hopefully he will eventually see all of the good things that your recovery brings about. In the meantime, it's natural for any transition to feel a bit rocky as you get your "sea legs" again in sobriety. This too shall pass... hang in there!
It can be very threatening in a partnership when one person changes, even for the better, and the other one had benefited in some way from that person's old behavior. I wish your husband could be more supportive, but if he can't, continue to seek out support from others who "get it", and keep taking care of yourself. Hopefully he will eventually see all of the good things that your recovery brings about. In the meantime, it's natural for any transition to feel a bit rocky as you get your "sea legs" again in sobriety. This too shall pass... hang in there!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Wiltshire, England
Posts: 233
MooMoos: awesome post yesterday. Seems to me like you're being set just a few too many tests at the moment. For my part I've decided to absent myself from social contexts in which alcohol is a lubricant. That may be selfish; no scratch that: it is definitely selfish. But I'm trading a short-term selfishness for a longer-term moral improvement.
I've had to be ruthless in some friendships, couldn't be helped.
I've had to be ruthless in some friendships, couldn't be helped.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 115
"The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not our circumstances."
So far I've used the day productively. Been to IKEA and bought a new bed frame and a few other bits (been sleeping on a mattress on the floor for more than a year...). Just set the bed up and whilst it's the right width (I'm not that dumb
) it's too long for my mattress. Darn those giant Scandinavians. Gonna get back to 'being productive' now. Friday night draws close. Impossible to imagine a few days ago that I'd not be having a beer.
Thanks everybody.
Sept 30, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,672
Fellow Octoberfesters......30 days today.
OK so I cheated by one day. I finished my last bottle of scotch on 9/29. My sobriety date (this time around) is really 9/30 but I did not find out about Sober-rec until 10/1.
Once I resolved I was done..... I was done. I resolve hereby to be here again in 30 more days and celebrate 60 days SOBER.
Stay strong, stay motivated and above else, stay enthusiastic..... my best to all.
OK so I cheated by one day. I finished my last bottle of scotch on 9/29. My sobriety date (this time around) is really 9/30 but I did not find out about Sober-rec until 10/1.
Once I resolved I was done..... I was done. I resolve hereby to be here again in 30 more days and celebrate 60 days SOBER.
Stay strong, stay motivated and above else, stay enthusiastic..... my best to all.
Yes, I'm a cookie.
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: the Netherlands
Posts: 5
Hey everyone,
Today was my fourth day without alcohol, which I've not been able to do since alcohol became a problem. Last night was a close call, I went looking for alcohol but managed to get a hold of myself. Not sure how I did that. I wonder what would've happened if I could've found something. You know, I hate beer, deteste it, find it absolutely disgusting, but I would drink down liters of it if I could right now. My god.
Haven't really slept lately and don't expect to sleep much tonight (it's 2:11 AM here), and even though I'm taking medication against withdrawal symptoms I'm still experiencing quite a lot of them. I'm crawling out of my skin.
I'm nervous for the rest of the night. I'm pretty sure there's no alcohol in the house because my dad is playing cop, but no one'll be able to stop me or even notice me leaving if I just go down to a bar and get wasted.
I've been to a couple of AA meetings now. I'm not totally on board with some things, but I like listening to the stories and being able to say what's on my mind, so I think I'll keep going.
Tomorrow I'm going grocery shopping by myself. I can't even imagine a scenario in which I DON'T end up smuggling bottles of wine into the house. It's right there. My body is aching and screaming and my depression is so heavy right now.
Anyway, to quote Tracy Bonham in one of my favourite songs of all time:
Whether you fall
Means nothing at all
It's whether you get up
It's whether you get up
Today was my fourth day without alcohol, which I've not been able to do since alcohol became a problem. Last night was a close call, I went looking for alcohol but managed to get a hold of myself. Not sure how I did that. I wonder what would've happened if I could've found something. You know, I hate beer, deteste it, find it absolutely disgusting, but I would drink down liters of it if I could right now. My god.
Haven't really slept lately and don't expect to sleep much tonight (it's 2:11 AM here), and even though I'm taking medication against withdrawal symptoms I'm still experiencing quite a lot of them. I'm crawling out of my skin.
I'm nervous for the rest of the night. I'm pretty sure there's no alcohol in the house because my dad is playing cop, but no one'll be able to stop me or even notice me leaving if I just go down to a bar and get wasted.
I've been to a couple of AA meetings now. I'm not totally on board with some things, but I like listening to the stories and being able to say what's on my mind, so I think I'll keep going.
Tomorrow I'm going grocery shopping by myself. I can't even imagine a scenario in which I DON'T end up smuggling bottles of wine into the house. It's right there. My body is aching and screaming and my depression is so heavy right now.
Anyway, to quote Tracy Bonham in one of my favourite songs of all time:
Whether you fall
Means nothing at all
It's whether you get up
It's whether you get up
Drunk in Recovery
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 143
Stroop, can you take someone with you to go shopping since you are so concerned about it? Maybe ask at an AA meeting for help? Or, if you go by yourself, take someone's phone number and call them if you are tempted to buy booze at the grocery store?
Trust me, if I can do it, you can do it. Recovered master manipulator over here.
Trust me, if I can do it, you can do it. Recovered master manipulator over here.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 58
Evening, everybody. It is 10:10 p.m. Friday night here on the east coast of the U.S., and I am stone cold sober for the fifth day in a row ;-) And, even though I am only five days in, I have been deeply touched by the support from, and the collective wisdom in, the SR community. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
caribbean - thanks for your sage advice.
ForwardLooking - congrats on a productive day!
Stroopwafel - Hang in there... spend plenty of time reading posts on SR. I hope you can find a family member or friend to help you through this really difficult time. You can do it!
I'll be back in the morning, to keep me on track ;-)
Wishing you all a pleasant and sober evening.
"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."
~Marcus Aurelius
caribbean - thanks for your sage advice.
ForwardLooking - congrats on a productive day!
Stroopwafel - Hang in there... spend plenty of time reading posts on SR. I hope you can find a family member or friend to help you through this really difficult time. You can do it!
I'll be back in the morning, to keep me on track ;-)
Wishing you all a pleasant and sober evening.
"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."
~Marcus Aurelius
Sorry, guys. Guest
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: uk
Posts: 464
Sorry to hear tjp,have done the same myself in the past...maybe a good reminder to yourself.why its not cool anymore...all those horrible negative emotions it re,kindles... sure you can pick yourself up and start afresh..a small blip along the way,often i found for me,strengthened my own resolve, best wishes..
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 58
Morning, all. Beginning of Day 6 for me. I've been doing some cleaning up around the house this morning, and have come across so many receipts for wine and beer, and I'm just astounded at how much time (and money) I've wasted these last few years. On the other hand, it has just redoubled my resolve to stay away from alcohol.
tjp - sorry about your setback, but that's all it is, a setback. If I'm not mistaken, you are the one who started this thread, and since you did that, just look at the number of people who've joined and posted and supported and encouraged one another. It's a great thing that you started, so pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and forge ahead. We're all behind you.
Last night, home alone (wife and daughter are both out of town), I was kind of wondering what to do, and I decided that I needed to watch something funny, so I just got on-line and watched some funny shows. Wow, did I laugh! And it felt so good. Humor is a great mood elevator, and I myself am going to try to make point of watching more funny shows and reading more humorous articles, etc.
It's a beautiful, crisp autumn day here in the eastern U.S., and I'm going to make the best of it. Wishing you all a pleasant and sober day. I'll be back this evening, to keep myself in line...
“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
tjp - sorry about your setback, but that's all it is, a setback. If I'm not mistaken, you are the one who started this thread, and since you did that, just look at the number of people who've joined and posted and supported and encouraged one another. It's a great thing that you started, so pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and forge ahead. We're all behind you.
Last night, home alone (wife and daughter are both out of town), I was kind of wondering what to do, and I decided that I needed to watch something funny, so I just got on-line and watched some funny shows. Wow, did I laugh! And it felt so good. Humor is a great mood elevator, and I myself am going to try to make point of watching more funny shows and reading more humorous articles, etc.
It's a beautiful, crisp autumn day here in the eastern U.S., and I'm going to make the best of it. Wishing you all a pleasant and sober day. I'll be back this evening, to keep myself in line...
“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 115
'God, grant us the...
Serenity to accept things we cannot change,
Courage to change the things we can, and the
Wisdom to know the difference
Patience for the things that take time
Appreciation for all that we have, and
Tolerance for those with different struggles
Freedom to live beyond the limitations of our past ways, the
Ability to feel your love for us and our love for each other and the
Strength to get up and try again even when we feel it is hopeless.'
Serenity to accept things we cannot change,
Courage to change the things we can, and the
Wisdom to know the difference
Patience for the things that take time
Appreciation for all that we have, and
Tolerance for those with different struggles
Freedom to live beyond the limitations of our past ways, the
Ability to feel your love for us and our love for each other and the
Strength to get up and try again even when we feel it is hopeless.'
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