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I'm thinking I need meetings

Old 04-23-2010, 02:52 PM
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I'm thinking I need meetings

I have Tried a number o times to quit drinking, each time I fail! I am lucky that I have found this site and it is keeping me going in the short term but I know I am going to need more as time goes on.

I've been thinking of going to a meeting, apparantly there is an aa meeting round the corner from me everyone Friday evening(which is good cos fridays are my most difficult day) and I went and took a drive down there this evening. I just sat in my car and watched them all arrive. They all looked like normal people! I am going to bite the bullet and go next week I think, any words of wisdom / advice? I'm terrified I will bump into someone I know!
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Old 04-23-2010, 02:57 PM
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just remember if they are at the meeting they aren't gonna be judging you, after all they are alchoholic too

I'm glad you decided to try a meeting.
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Old 04-23-2010, 03:08 PM
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Hi Acorn

I'm not an AAer, but the friends I have here who go to meetings are amazing supportive lovely people.

I'm sure you'll be ok

Welcome to SR
D
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Old 04-23-2010, 03:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Acorn View Post
They all looked like normal people!
So, maybe this alcoholism thing isn't what you thought, huh?

At my home group last night, in the church basement, before the meeting... someone from the choir came downstairs and invited us up for hot dogs, coffee and cake... seems they were having a birthday party (90th) for one of the members of the choir... well some of us took them up on the offer... when we got up there, you could hardly tell who belonged to which group!!

That was awesome.

Mark
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Old 04-23-2010, 03:16 PM
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It is sooo scary walking in the first time. After the first meeting I beelined it out the door before anyone could even have a chance to talk to me lol.

They're not that bad. I've gone to about 1 week for the last 6 months, I don't know how often i'll be going anymore, but they did help get me through the beginning and helped me see things differently and more honestly.
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Old 04-23-2010, 03:17 PM
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I hope you do whatever it takes for you to stay sober!
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Old 04-23-2010, 03:48 PM
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Hey you should go! Seriously!

I went to my first one last night. I still don't think I'm an alcoholic but I went because I know have some sort of problem.

I sat in the parking lot for 45 minutes before I went in. I was only there for 15 minutes but everyone was REALLY welcoming. Seriously. I mean at some point they all had the same issue as you or are still struggling with it every day...so there is no judgment. Seriously. I was really afraid but people were extremely nice and supportive.

Hearing other peoples stories and talking to people who understood was very helpful. I haven't stopped drinking but going to meetings is the first step in wanting to. I really really think you should go. I don't think you'll regret it. Like I said it was REALLY scary but people were SO nice. I was surprised honestly.

I live in the inner city, I went to a meeting in a suburb near where I live. In my city its easy to get to the burbs by the train so it wasn't an issue for me. Maybe you can go to one where you would not have the chance of knowing someone. But even if you did, that person would be there for the same reason as you so nether of you would have a reason to feel embarrassed but I tottally get why you would because I feel the same way.
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Old 04-23-2010, 04:04 PM
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There are some great meetings in your city..
i hope you enjoy it.
just take some loose change and an open mind.......
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Old 04-23-2010, 05:09 PM
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I'd suggest going too. And if you see someone you know, it's because they're alcoholic too. Everyone there understands where you are cause they've all been there too. I'd say "go for it!" What have you got to lose but your alcohol problems. And the freedom you get from sobriety is wonderful.
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Old 04-23-2010, 05:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Acorn View Post
I have Tried a number o times to quit drinking, each time I fail! I am lucky that I have found this site and it is keeping me going in the short term but I know I am going to need more as time goes on.

I've been thinking of going to a meeting, apparantly there is an aa meeting round the corner from me everyone Friday evening(which is good cos fridays are my most difficult day) and I went and took a drive down there this evening. I just sat in my car and watched them all arrive. They all looked like normal people! I am going to bite the bullet and go next week I think, any words of wisdom / advice? I'm terrified I will bump into someone I know!
to the family,.........

I find the best way to deal with new things that might make me feel nervous is to just do it,..........stop thinking about it.
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Old 04-23-2010, 06:10 PM
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I am not sure how this applies in the UK but it nailed it for meetings in the USA.

Your First AA Meeting
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Old 04-23-2010, 06:39 PM
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Take it one step at a time. One step to the car, one step out of the car, one step up to the meeting house and then one step to the chair you'll be sitting in. You can even sit all the way in back right next to the door in case you feel like you need to escape. I bet you'll get something great out of it. I hope you'll go.
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Old 04-23-2010, 06:43 PM
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Me too, Acorn.

SMART recovery is more my style as I like the cognitive behavioural approach, but there are few resources for this in my area. I have put a list together of the AA meetings that are easy to get to -- I'm just working up the courage to go.

You're not alone in feeling the fear.
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Old 04-23-2010, 07:00 PM
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Originally Posted by box3 View Post
Me too, Acorn.

SMART recovery is more my style as I like the cognitive behavioural approach, but there are few resources for this in my area. I have put a list together of the AA meetings that are easy to get to -- I'm just working up the courage to go.

You're not alone in feeling the fear.
I go to AA and have a sesssion a week with a CBT counselor so im kind of a smart aa guy;-)

Seriously though i was scared of my first meeting too but they are just people and are all there for the same problem and it is alcoholic anonymous and they do treat that seriously so even if you do know anyone which IMO is quite unlikely then no worries.

I'm from the UK too, will be back next month for a bit...looking forward to going to some meeting...have been abroad a while now...will slot straight back in...wander in and an alriiiite maaaate and we are away hehe

Will be good to sit with a bunch of drunks in the UK without being asked me what the **** am i looking at...or being accused of being a southern shandy drinking *******...although the latter may still be appropriate depending on the location of the meetings;-)

Go though it got me sober and gave me a freedom from alcohol i didn't think possible:-)
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Old 04-23-2010, 08:52 PM
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I asked a dear friend to go with me to my first AA meeting.
I think everyone is nervous when trying new things...

At my noon meeting...18 of us gathered to discuss and
shared on how to live sober and well.
Please just go and listen...what do you have to lose?
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Old 04-24-2010, 05:39 AM
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The ONLY requirement to be a member of AA is the DESIRE TO STOP DRINKING. I am not required to do anything or say anything. There are no dues or fees. The thing that helped me the most was simply attending meetings and listening to others....and realizing that although our specific experiences might be different, I could identify with all the fears and feelings, the misery and pain, that others experienced. I was, after all, not unique, and no longer alone. I was among those who understood me because they'd BEEN me....and had found a solution they were happy to share.

Right now, I'm on the road on my way back to Boston from Florida. One of the things I love to do is google an AA meeting directory for wherever I'm staying over that night, and attend a meeting I've never been to before. I love going to meet others like me, sharing our common bonds and support. One of our traditions in AA states that we are a fellowship which puts principles before personalities. I've never felt anything except welcome at an AA meeting. That means love and tolerance, among other things.

I even went to one in Paris once, that was entirely in French (which I barely spoke)....and STILL felt totally comfortable. It's like having family all over the world.

blessings
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Old 04-24-2010, 06:37 AM
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Welcome I remember my first meeting vividly, I think I posted about it here too. The way I thought of it, was even if I saw someone I know I would much rather them see me doing something positive for my life than see me drunk as I never seemed to care too much about who saw me in THAT condition, ya know? They were so welcoming, and it really was a better hour spent than anything else in that moment that I would have been doing.
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Old 04-24-2010, 06:49 AM
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Hi Acorn:

Just go. We're all there for the same reason. Keep an open mind. And don't feel as if you have to make a decision right away as to whether it works for you. That's how I approached it. I told myself I'd go for three months and re-evaluate then.

I hope you find that you leave the meetings a bit more at peace with yourself.

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Old 04-24-2010, 08:18 AM
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Thanks everyone for the words of advice and kindness. I'm gonna bite the bullet and go to the meet next Friday. I shall let you know how I get on. Life is looking up so far, I hope it stays this way.
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Old 04-24-2010, 08:20 AM
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I'm glad you're feeling optimistic about things Acorn.

And, I hope you continue to use SR for support.
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