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Old 04-06-2010, 09:05 PM
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New here.. I have a question

First off... I want to say that I am an opiate addict. I shoot about 180 dillaudid 4mgs a month, ontop of anything else I can get my hands on. I am trying to quit cold turkey...I've made it 6 days.

A friend stopped over who had heard that I was on the couch DTing for a few days. He brought 3 pills. 4mg dillaudids.

Here is my question. I fell off the wagon. I shot up 1 of the pills and threw the other 2 away.

Does this mean that all that hard work is lost? Am I now starting over at square one.. or because of it being such a low dose... will I keep ANY of my progress......

Thanks for any help everyone. I've been reading posts on here for days crying my eyes out and trying to get through this. You are a wonderful bunch of people and thank god for each and every one of you!

Jack
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Old 04-06-2010, 09:21 PM
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Hi WackyJ79 welcome to SR, I am not very familar with your situation but i can tell you that that decision to clean up is the best decision you have ever made in your life. My life is so much better without pills and alcohol and yours will be to. Seek some medical advice from a Dr., detox is a very dangerous step in your recovery.
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Old 04-06-2010, 09:30 PM
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Unhappy

Thank you for your Reply MahiMahi (That and orange ruffey are my fav)...

If I go to the doctor to try to get Suboxone, Im afraid that I'll be red-flagged, and then never be taken seriously if I go to a doc or hospital for pain treatment again. I blew out my knee and had access to opiate based pain meds. That's how this all started. Went from Hydros... to Percocets... Then Methadone.. Then Oxys.... Then Morphines... and finally to the Big H...

I only did H a few times. It was just opiatets in general.. not any certin one that I had a problem with. When I called my local outpatient center, they told me that Opiate withdrawl is not deadly. They told me to take immodium AD and a one a day vitamine. They said if It got too bad to go to the ER.

I'm just afraid of the consequences of going to my doctor for help. He put me on the meds, and I'm still out of work after the knee surgery I had. I don't want him to pretty much blow me off.. because I DO need his treatment.

It's so complicated. I'm sorry to bother everyone with my issues.

The way it was explained to me.. is that because I went 6 days w/o anyting.. that coming off the one pill that I did wouldn't be as bad. The way my "friend" explained it, he said that it's like falling off a MUCH smaller ladder than the one I was on before, when I was shooting up a dozen times a day. He said that coming off the one pill will not be as bad as what I went through.. but I don't know if I should believe him. I wish I could just go back in time and not hae done it.
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Old 04-06-2010, 09:46 PM
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Hi Jack

Welcome to SR

I'm not a doctor - and neither is anyone else here - so your question, from a withdrawal standpoint, is probably best addressed by a Doctor.

I'm not an American so I can't speak with any authority about red flagging of records, but that seems a little unlikely to me. Are you sure about that or are you just afraid that's the case?

From a philosophical viewpoint tho....I don't think any sober time is ever wasted...you just need to tweak a few things for your next attempt...especially things like friends giving you your drug of choice.

I'm an alcoholic but I know in my case I needed to make more changes than just not drinking/using...that meant cutting out a few friends who were more than happy, for whatever reason, to keep me in beer.

Have you considered a recovery programme?

We have a substance abuse forum here full of people who've been there and made it through into recovery. It might be worth a read, Jack

Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

D
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Old 04-06-2010, 09:49 PM
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I mainly mixed Vicoden and alcohol the last 2 years of my addiction so I guess I can sorta relate. I can remember not to long ago a got 50 percs from my Dr. and they lasted about a week after that the withdrawls were more mental that physical, man the drepession was unbearable and it seemed to last for a week. Really I didnt care about sh-t, I was so glad to get that behind me. The vicoden withdrawl wasn't so bad I guess the higher up the opiate ladder you go the worst the mental detox will be?

You were feeding you addiction and will have to pay some consequences I guess, you made it six days this time do it for good. There are many people on here that have been in your shoes that can provide you with some awesome support. Hang in there and keep up posted.

Mahi
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Old 04-06-2010, 09:55 PM
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Originally Posted by MahiMahi View Post
I mainly mixed Vicoden and alcohol the last 2 years of my addiction so I guess I can sorta relate. I can remember not to long ago a got 50 percs from my Dr. and they lasted about a week after that the withdrawls were more mental that physical, man the drepession was unbearable and it seemed to last for a week. Really I didnt care about sh-t, I was so glad to get that behind me. The vicoden withdrawl wasn't so bad I guess the higher up the opiate ladder you go the worst the mental detox will be?

You were feeding you addiction and will have to pay some consequences I guess, you made it six days this time do it for good. There are many people on here that have been in your shoes that can provide you with some awesome support. Hang in there and keep up posted.

Mahi
Thank you for your reply Mahi. The forums here are wonderful for support. I can't tell you how hard and embarrasing it was to get on here, and admit that I relapsed after 6 days sober. I feel like such a fool. I'm going to just keep on trucking along and hope for the best. One day at a time. I read someones post earlier that said "This too shall pass" I just keep repeating it over and over again in my head when I'm going through the Withdrawals.
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Old 04-07-2010, 06:00 AM
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Does anyone know if this starts me back at Day 1, or if it will be easier than last time? God I hope I don't have to go through all that again.
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Old 04-07-2010, 06:26 AM
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The times I relapsed and drank, even just one drink, I started counting all over again with day One. As to whether it will be easier this time, I don't know. I wish you success in staying clean this time.
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Old 04-07-2010, 08:38 AM
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Hey Wacky don't get so caught up in the days if possible. The counting can be fun, but can be killer also. If starting over is mentally going to destroy your chance of jumping back into the sober party then don't. Try the 24 hour pledge to not use today. After doing that for awhile then maybe add up your progress. The problem with a relapse is that you often get discouraged because of all the time you so called "wasted" from that one relapse, but I'm with Dee on this. Its not wasted and if you learned your trigger and can prevent it from happening then all was not lost. Life is full of lessons and take it as a lesson well learned. Continue on. Just my opinion and you know what they say about that. Good luck and don't give up.
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Old 04-07-2010, 09:16 AM
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Wacky,

There are no rules about days, in that, it's up to you decide if you want to start at Day 1 again. No one can tell you what to do. I agree with Dee that sober time is never wasted. It's always a learning experience.
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Old 04-07-2010, 09:54 PM
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Originally Posted by Anna View Post
Wacky,

There are no rules about days, in that, it's up to you decide if you want to start at Day 1 again. No one can tell you what to do. I agree with Dee that sober time is never wasted. It's always a learning experience.
Hi Anna, Hi HorseLover!!

Thank you both for your replys and everyone elses...

I think that I didnt word my question correctly. I don't mean to ask if I start counting down the days at day 1 again... what i mean is that because I didn't use for so many days.... now that I did use that one time... does this mean that My withdrawls start ALL over again... do I start over again at vomiting, then cold chills & hot flashes... anxiety...

I meant mroe on a physical level. Not so much on a mental level.

I guess what I was asking is weather I physically had to start over with my symptoms, or if the symptoms would be kind of pick up where I left off...

Sorry if I was vague in my description, but I do thank you for taking the time to reply.

Jack
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Old 04-07-2010, 10:10 PM
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Like I said yesterday Jack - we can and do share our experience here but it should never stand as medical opinion or advice.

We're not a medical board.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...al-advice.html

Medical questions about withdrawals and the like are best directed to doctors.

D
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Old 04-07-2010, 10:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Like I said yesterday Jack - we can and do share our experience here but it should never stand as medical opinion or advice.

We're not a medical board.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...al-advice.html

Medical questions about withdrawals and the like are best directed to doctors.

D
I'm not asking anyone for Medical ADVICE. And I am obviously well aware that this is not a medical board. I'm simply asking a simple question that I would ask to a friend or anyone else in a forum regarding this topic. Weather or not withdrawal symptoms return in full force after a single relapse is not a matter of medical advice. It's a matter of FACT. Seeing as this is a Sober Recovery forum I thought that perhaps someone here would have either experienced this phenomenon or knew.. as a matter of FACT weather or not the withdrawals started over as intense as they did at day 1 or weather the time that I was sober would count for anything. Seeing that you have have 17 thousand posts since 2007 it appears that you have exchanged one addiction for another.

I'd be willing to bet that I'm not the first person to pass through here and turn away due to your "Holier Than Thou" attitude.

Wear your "Forum LEADER" Tag with Pride.... Have fun LEADING people who are simply asking for help or for someone else experiences with FACTUAL events.

This will be my last post here. Enjoy your power trip!!

Sorry to everyone else on these boards for my interruption. And those that took the time to formulate and post an educated, experienced, honest response I thank you for your time. I wish you all well in your continued recovery.

I suppose the BIG BAD LEADER will lock/delete this thread before too many people see it.

Every thought of yourself as an equal, instead of a Leader?!?!?!

I too... Shall Pass.

Goodbye!!!!!!!
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Old 04-07-2010, 10:38 PM
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I'm sorry you feel that way Jack.

The simple fact of the matter is what you've been asking for is medical advice as defined by our rules...and the rule is there not for any officious reason, it's for your best interests.

I could say that it's been a day or so, you'll probably be ok, but I have no idea of that - I've never taken dialudid.

Someone else who has taken that drug might offer an opinion based on their experience, but it is just their experience - it shouldn't be taken as any substitute for professional medical advice.

Whatever you decide to do I wish you the best.

I will close this thread - it's gone wildly off topic - but I'll open it again if you wish me to. Drop me or Anna a PM.

D
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