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Hello from a Newbie

Old 04-02-2010, 01:38 PM
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Hello from a Newbie

After months of lurking, I decided to join and make the most of what this wonderful community has to offer.

The long story short (at least for now):

20+ years drinking; practically daily for at least the past 10. I will be 40 this year. It's in the genes---Dad is recovering but has 30 years sober. I've known this was a serious problem for years, and did an AA meeting last year but got scared and never went again. Back to the booze routine.

Held onto a sliver of hope that maybe it wasn't "that bad", that there were plenty of others who had it worse. That idea went out the window last Sunday night. I crashed my car and was arrested for DUI. So here I am, scared to death, ashamed, but also strangely hopeful that this really could be the turning point I need to keep me alive. I am also overcome with relief that nobody was hurt by the insanity of my driving drunk.

Because of the nature of my drinking (long-term, heavy, daily boozing), and high blood pressure, I was scared to quit drinking all of a sudden. I have heard that to detox cold-turkey can be very dangerous. (Unemployed, no insurance, so no access to medical treatment or supervision during a detox.)

So, as shameful as it must sound, I am still drinking. But to say that it is a different kind of drinking is a huge understatement. Instead of 10+ doubles/day, I am now drinking just enough to keep the sickness away. (2-3/day and single pours.) As it is, this week has been miserable. Aches, profuse sweating, hardly sleeping, diarrhea and vomiting.

I'm not really sure where I am headed with all this. Ultimately I would like to be a "non-drinker". But I don't know exactly how that will come to be. For now, I have a wonderfully supportive partner who loves me. And I will just continue to read SR and learn from all of you. Thank you for letting me share.

Sorry, I guess that wasn't such a short story after all!
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Old 04-02-2010, 01:47 PM
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Well you are right about the stopping drinking cold turkey can be dangerous. I'm happy you've decided that you want to live a sober life. My suggestion is to maybe look around your area for a free detox place. In some areas, at least I've heard, they do offer it.

Good luck and welcome to SR.
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Old 04-02-2010, 01:55 PM
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Clipper, your story is my story! Almost everything is the same, except I'm older. I, too got a DUI (two in fact) and was humbled/terrified when that happened. My drinking had reached another level - I was sloppy and stupid, and my life was chaos. There was no more control. I could no longer fool myself that I could ever return to being a social drinker.

I was without insurance when I detoxed too, & had to do what you're doing - drank less until I was able to stop. Cold turkying without medical supervision is not recommended, due to the possibility of stroke or seizure. I know we're not supposed to give medical advice, so I'll leave it at that. Please be careful.

I hope you'll find SR to be the life saver that I did. It's reassuring to know we're not alone anymore. The people in our life who don't have an addiction problem can't truly understand what we go through. I was still drinking when I came stumbling in to SR. My friends here helped raise me up out of despair and gave me the courage to finally stop all together. Congratulations on your decision - let us hear more from you!
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Old 04-02-2010, 01:55 PM
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Welcome Clipper you will find a lot of support here. I tried for years to quit on my own with some limited results, its only recently that I have started to have some real recovery by working the steps & hitting some AA meetings to meet with people face to face with similar experiences.

Stay close to SR & keep posting & reading. All of the best in your recovery
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Old 04-02-2010, 01:58 PM
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Hi Clipper and Welcome to SR.

If I understand correctly you are still drinking, but less. I tried something like that, thought keeping off the booze during the week would help me cut down. I discovered that meant that I would just drink my weekly amount in 2 1/2 days...

I think you know you need to quit. Read all the posts that are available here, they will comfort you and perhaps give you some ideas on how to get on your road to recovery.

Wishing you all the strength you are going to need.:ghug3
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Old 04-02-2010, 02:02 PM
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((Clipper))

Welcome to SR!!

I agree about the detox...it can be fatal. I know I was an RN in several ER's and I don't know about where you are, but we couldn't turn down someone who was withdrawing from alcohol and was physically at risk. Sure, you may end up owing some bills later (one hospital I worked at, you didn't if you lived in that county and had little/no income) but hey - this is your LIFE you're talking about....please try and get some help, okay?

This IS a great place for support...I'm glad you're here.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy
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Old 04-02-2010, 03:09 PM
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I agree. If you go to the ER they can't turn you away. Yes, you may have a bill later but if it helps you get thru the worst of the withdrawal... Be safe when stopping drinking.

Welcome to SR! I hope we can help you in your quest to live a sober life.
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Old 04-02-2010, 03:21 PM
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Hi Clipper and welcome
I agree with least and Impurrfect...for heavy daily drinkers, especially if you've been at it a while, I really recommend medical supervision.

I was a heavy daily drinker. I never able to wean, or stay off completely, for anymore than short periods of time...to ask me to control was my drinking was futile...not being able to control it is what got me where I ended up.

The other thing is - many people can detox on their own safely and without incident. Others, like me, are less fortunate and end up with long term reminders - I suffered a few mini strokes in my detox.

These could probably have been avoided had I seen a Dr.

A bill is nothing weighed against your life, Clipper.
D
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Old 04-02-2010, 06:29 PM
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Welcome Clipper!

No post is ever too long or too short. Thank you for sharing your story - many, many of us have walked the same path as you and you'll come to find that we all have our own programs of recovery.

AA isn't for everybody, but everybody there is or has been where you're at and face-to-face support is helpful. Don't let the Higher Power or God words get to you. Focus on listening alot and meeting as many people as you can who you connect with.

I was like you when I got sober - no insurance, no job. I got help through my community outpatient rehab services. I paid next to nothing and they literally saved my life. I saw a counselor there who was in recovery himself for a long time and also professionally trained in alcoholism. I also had high blood pressure and that drastically reduced when the drinking stopped, along with anxiety issues that also went away. I detoxed alone at home, but don't know your full circumstances so wouldn't advise it.

Clipper, we all know that what goes up must come down so even though the few drinks levels the discomfort a bit now(I did the same thing), it's really just delaying the process.

It's great that you have a supportive partner - that's real important. Don't know if you have a relationship with your Dad who might be able to support you too (?).

You certainly have us here. So glad you're with us. Look forward to hearing more from you. Take care.
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Old 04-02-2010, 06:52 PM
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The Salvation Army runs free de tox facilities in many areas.
You could go to a local AA meeting....ask for information
that is another option......
AA is full of members who have de toxed

Welcome to the posting part of SR....
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