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Preparing to quit on 1/2

Old 12-24-2009, 11:36 PM
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Welcome ...

Good luck with your plan......sounds like the same logic many of us used while still actively drinking.

AA was never in my plans either.

You only drink at home alone except when you drink at parties.
You don't drink and drive ...but your wife also drinks...so who
is the driver to these social festivities?

Your trying to stay in shape...but continue to put a toxin
in your system regularly.
You want to keep secrets from people who care about you.

You make your doctor appointment after the holidays.
thus allowing them to be another reason.
Your planning on drinking up your supply rather than throwing it out.

Yes...indeed....I'm really glad you are seeking sobriety

I'm reminded of Jeff Foxorthys skits..
."You might be a redneck if...
change redneck for alcoholic...

Blessings to you and your family...

Last edited by CarolD; 12-24-2009 at 11:59 PM.
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Old 12-24-2009, 11:47 PM
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Hi BetterDad

There's some great advice in this thread, so I won't add to it for now

Welcome to SR and Merry Christmas,
D
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Old 12-24-2009, 11:56 PM
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I just sent you a message...
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Old 12-25-2009, 01:57 AM
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Men might be slightly more "take charge" in wanting to plan things. So maybe that's all Dad is doing. As was said before, I think it will be very telling if he keeps his commitments or not. But isn't that true with all of us? My commitment is one day at a time, but I'm still not sure if or when that day might come when I'm simply not able to.

And I've heard many people say that sometimes real success comes after many stops and starts. So if 1/2 isn't the first day of a lifetime of sobriety, perhaps it will be the first day on his eventual journey to get there.

I would just like to add one thing, Dad. There were countless days when I was determined not to drink, but did anyway solely to relieve the hangover from the night before. You might want to consider moving your date to 1/3 if you're absolutely determined to be drinking through New Years Day. LOL

I hope your plan works, because your family truly deserves a Better Dad. :-) I wish you the best, and be good to yourself. Happy Holidays!
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Old 12-25-2009, 07:10 AM
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Originally Posted by BetterDad View Post
I plan to tell folks that I just decided to not drink, but not tell the world the reason why.

New year diet excuse. cut down on calories and remove alcohol. I know coming clean is probably the best way, but kind of embarrassed and would rather just tell folks I gave it up.

thoughts?
Hey BetterDad,

Initially I could only admit to myself and a couple of extremely close friends that I had a problem, the rest I told I was doing it as part of a better health plan. As time went on and I became more comfortable with myself, regained a lot of emotional stability etc, I found myself telling most people the truth. Including those that I had originally told that I was on a diet/health kick.

Look forward to hearing how you go! Happy Holidays.
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Old 12-25-2009, 08:37 AM
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Hey Merry Christmas all, and Betterdad good luck with your quit. I'm on day 15 and will have a sober Christmas with my family. My first sober Christmas in probably 30 years. Be honest with you I have no idea how I"ll stay sober tomorrow. I'll say the third step prayer in the morning and go to a AA meeting. It's worked so far!! I'm a bit over a year off the cigarettes as well so I have this urge to want to abuse something and have run out of vices. I guess food and sweets have become my latest obsession. I'm told you can't get arrested for FAT driving so no harm done!!
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Old 12-25-2009, 09:11 AM
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Like a few have said.. as long as I 'planned' to quit, i stayed pretty drunk for a very long time.

I hope you stick with your committment to a sober life, you'll love it. Next year
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Old 12-25-2009, 02:13 PM
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Best of luck getttin sober. Personally, I have only told maybe two people the reason that I quit. Mostly, I just say 'no thanks' and people are really fine with that. Really it's no ones business unless you want to make it theirs.
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Old 12-25-2009, 07:42 PM
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Better Dad,

Another thing I forgot is that I keep a picture of my kids in my wallet. On the bottom I wrote " Just for today please don't pick up a drink". Anytime I feel the urge at all I pull it out and it reminds me of a time when it was not so good to be drunk and they were my witnesses to the bad times I put them through.

God Bless and Good Luck!
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Old 12-26-2009, 11:16 AM
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Do Primary care doctors usually prescribe meds for alcohol withdrawal themselves or refer to inpatient / outpatient care? Not asking for med advice, just prepping myself for my appointment.

I'm hoping they prescribe themselves so I can deal with this at home. Some symptoms I have every day are fast heart rate in the morning (half a pot of coffee probably isn't helping), hands twitch slightly, and palms start sweating in by mid-afternoon. I never drink the morning, but drink daily starting around 5ish until bed at 10.

Anyone with the same type of pattern... what was your experience?
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Old 12-26-2009, 03:00 PM
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Depends on the physician, his or her comfort level with it, and upon your particular case.

Mark
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Old 12-26-2009, 03:07 PM
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Originally Posted by BetterDad View Post
Do Primary care doctors usually prescribe meds for alcohol withdrawal themselves or refer to inpatient / outpatient care? Not asking for med advice, just prepping myself for my appointment.

I'm hoping they prescribe themselves so I can deal with this at home. Some symptoms I have every day are fast heart rate in the morning (half a pot of coffee probably isn't helping), hands twitch slightly, and palms start sweating in by mid-afternoon. I never drink the morning, but drink daily starting around 5ish until bed at 10.

Anyone with the same type of pattern... what was your experience?
BetterDad,
I was in the Army when I was referred to inpatient treatment. I had to wait for a bed to open. At the time, the only thing I was prescribed was antabuse and some b complex vitamins.
hope this helps a little.
beth
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Old 12-27-2009, 05:57 AM
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Originally Posted by BetterDad View Post
Do Primary care doctors usually prescribe meds for alcohol withdrawal themselves or refer to inpatient / outpatient care? Not asking for med advice, just prepping myself for my appointment.

I'm hoping they prescribe themselves so I can deal with this at home. Some symptoms I have every day are fast heart rate in the morning (half a pot of coffee probably isn't helping), hands twitch slightly, and palms start sweating in by mid-afternoon. I never drink the morning, but drink daily starting around 5ish until bed at 10.

Anyone with the same type of pattern... what was your experience?
yep- I know that pattern. My dr gave me anti anxiety meds for my 7 day run this past week, and they helped tremendously. But I was off work and quite sleepy (I guess, just kind of 'out of it').
Be careful, I would suggest buying a $30 approx blood pressure machine at Walmart just to keep track the first few days. Anyway just tell your DR the truth and you should work it out.
Best wishes
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Old 12-27-2009, 06:46 AM
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Originally Posted by dedubya View Post
yep- I know that pattern. My dr gave me anti anxiety meds for my 7 day run this past week, and they helped tremendously. But I was off work and quite sleepy (I guess, just kind of 'out of it').
Be careful, I would suggest buying a $30 approx blood pressure machine at Walmart just to keep track the first few days. Anyway just tell your DR the truth and you should work it out.
Best wishes
Dub
I am starting to taper and only had 3 medium drinks yesterday instead of the 5 strong. Felt OK during the evening except didn't know what to do with the time. Sleeping was very restless though... woke up feeling good though. I hope my Dr gives me something for the anxiety and and I tough it out. If having to go to rehab or tough it out with nothing on my own ... I pick on my own. Which is why I am trying the taper approach leading to my appointment.

On the BP machine... what am I "keeping track of"? just getting baselines?
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Old 12-27-2009, 06:47 AM
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I am also off work which is why I am picking this time of year. Wish my appointment was tomorrow so I could have a full week before work starts.
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Old 12-27-2009, 07:14 AM
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Hey Dad-
again, no med advice from me. BUT- BP is the thing that escalated with me. So just take it seriously and hang. Hang with your plan on DR, they know. IMO you need 5 days before it gets a bit normal feeling, but that varies depending I think...on how much and how often. You hang in there and tally up the days. OK- I am going to say this, I screwed up when I quit going to AA. Maybe AA solidifies my commitment to not drinking, however I think it is an amazing group of peeps and I like going.
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Old 12-27-2009, 12:36 PM
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Originally Posted by BetterDad View Post
Do Primary care doctors usually prescribe meds for alcohol withdrawal themselves or refer to inpatient / outpatient care? Not asking for med advice, just prepping myself for my appointment.

I'm hoping they prescribe themselves so I can deal with this at home. Some symptoms I have every day are fast heart rate in the morning (half a pot of coffee probably isn't helping), hands twitch slightly, and palms start sweating in by mid-afternoon. I never drink the morning, but drink daily starting around 5ish until bed at 10.

Anyone with the same type of pattern... what was your experience?
You're right, the pot of coffee likely doesn't help with anxiety, blood pressure, restlessness etc..

As for your first question, many people are prescribed something to ease withdrawals, many people are not. The first time I "quit" I was prescribed anti-siezure meds for 2 days. The last and final time I quit, I did it med-free after I was honest with my doc, and scared to become addicted to anything he might give me to 'calm me' (I didn't want to add another crutch or replace an addiction) and it was fine. By that time, I was drinking pretty much 24/7, and while withdrawal was incredibly uncomfortable, it was survivable for me (again, my doc knew what was going on, as yours should as well). Finding a lot of support, meetings, counseling etc helped ease the anxiety, and the longer I was without alcohol, the less anxious I felt and the better I slept.

Over the past year + that I have been sober, sure I've experienced anxiety, but I've learned new ways to cope with it, and also come to understand that SOME anxiety, frustration, anger, sadness, (emotions) are NORMAL and healthy to feel. That took a while to learn after I had numbed myself almost to death for so long.
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Old 12-27-2009, 05:10 PM
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Better Dad ~

I wish you nothing but the best. I don't mean to look at the glass half empty (sorry for the bad pun), but it reminds me of resolutions year after year when I made a "plan" to quit smoking based on a tradition that was driven by the date on the calendar.

For me, sobriety was not something I had the ability to "map out." It was either stop drinking or die - then and there, no questions asked. I do applaud the medical consideration you've given to your situation and I don't know you - I only know that for me, if I was to not succeed with my plan to quit on xyz day, it would spell defeat and I would likely feel that the attempt was futile so why bother at all? (I speak from experience). Fortunately or not, alcoholism had controlled me, before I had "it" under control - as soon as I had to question whether I was out of control, it was too late.

Also, maybe it's me, but I never felt like it was anyone's business why I was no longer drinking. Those who knew me well enough knew why and those who didn't, well, it was none of their business. A simple "no thanks" when a drink was offered did it for me.

It's amazing to me how people are so inquisitive, almost as if there's some "secret" behind the refusal of a drink that they just can't help themselves in wanting to know. You know, that hushed kind of, "you don't drink????" - sidling up against you like there's some big story behind it that they've got to know. It's also amazing to me that the instant impression of the drink refusal must be because "the person is an alcoholic" or at least a "person with a problem." I've seen true, social drinkers respond to the question so comfortably and matter-of-fact that it doesn't beg any further qualification beyond "no thanks."

I actually have a friend who doesn't drink and when I'm out with him and anyone asks, "why don't you drink?" he replies, "for the same reason I don't eat veggies."

A female friend of mine (who's comfortable with anyone/everyone knowing about her recovery responded to the question, "How do you get through the day without a drink?"
with "My problem was getting through the day "with" a drink."

All the best to you, BetterDad ~

Bee
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Old 12-27-2009, 05:22 PM
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P.S. What helped me in my early recovery was outpatient counseling through a local community rehab - once a week - at night - on a sliding fee scale - with a licensed LADAC (Licensed alcohol and drug abuse counselor). He saved my life - put things in perspective, informed me of why I was feeling the way I was along the way, how to manage it, etc. - excellent, excellent advice and insight that I still use today.
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Old 12-27-2009, 07:28 PM
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My wife had high BP with one of her pregnancies so I have access to a monitor at home. They are also inexpensive at a pharmacy in the US.

After reading up on clinical alcoholism and withdrawal over the holiday weekend (fun, eh?) and monitoring my own behavior and stats it seems that the primary concern is that BP will spike during alcohol withdrawal which may indicated why some of us have a noticeably pounding pulse "the day after" and if verified with a BP reading, it would probably be higher than it normally would be. When you're a really good drinker, as many of us are/were, you pretty much go through withdrawal after every binge which causes your BP to spike. This is problematic in that it can lead to all sorts of cardiac issues such as strokes and arrhythmia. Drugs are sometimes prescribed to help mitigate the risks of these events.

Take it with a grain of salt - I'm not a doctor and I did all of my research on the internet so who knows....
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